劉小曼

https://big5.backchina.com/?358517

雜文：李鬼的木頭板斧給我的啟發（中英雙語）

作者：劉小曼於 2016-8-4 11:02 發表於最熱鬧的華人社交網路--貝殼村

作者分類:生活雜感|通用分類:其它日誌|已有4評論

When I was rowing canoe in the gym today, I suddenly heard some strange sounds behind me.

What the heck was that? I wondered. There were not many people in the gym this afternoon, probably around 20 or so scattering here and there making efforts to lose weight or gain muscle. I would say that this is an up-to-date gym with the latest workout equipment in the market. You can see that treadmills, bikes, weight-lifting equipment, stair climbers, dumbbells, dumb pot...s, and so on, reasonably placed in this huge gym with running tracks. But picture taking is not allowed, otherwise I can show you what I am talking about. Isn't there a saying that goes like: a picture is worth a thousand words? I can't help it, what a shame!

Curious, I turned around and saw that guy who was sending weird noises like a wounded animal. He is a well-built young fellow, and now he was lifting a barbell and probably the bell was too heavy for him. His face was twisted in pain caused by the weight that he almost couldn't stand. Seeing all this I couldn't help laughing, of course, sneakily. It seems that heavy-as weight is not for everybody? At least, not for me. Not now.

Usually you can see quite a few strong people who are wearing the fashionable Mohawk haircut, nose piercings and tattoos on their arms, doing weightlifting in the platform. When they lift the weight, muscles and veins on their arms and chests dance elegantly. Not an illusion, no. A double take is what they make you want to do, seriously.

The dumbbells they are lifting? 50 pounds!

Now what I am thinking is that, one day I will make a pair of dumbbells with paper the same size of those that weigh 80 pounds, and put on the same colors that you can't tell they are fake, then I will sneaki ly bring them into the gym without being seen by the staff. I will lift them like nothing and wait to see how those strong-built people will react on seeing me like this.

Someone just told me that 李鬼's axes were made of wood. So why can't I have a pair of dumbbells made of paper?

今天在Gym在我划艇的時候突然聽見身後奇怪的聲音。

Gym里的人不算多，大概十幾二十個。這是一個與時俱進的Gym，設備應有盡有：跑步機，自行車，舉重設備，樓梯機，啞鈴，啞壺，等等各種各樣。可惜不讓拍照。

我回頭望見那發出怪聲的傢伙，是一個很肥壯的小夥子，他正在舉重，臉部肌肉因為用力而扭曲。好像快挺不住的樣子，發出如受傷動物的怪聲。真是讓人忍不住偷笑。

舉重區域也是舉啞鈴的地方，經常我看到不少大力士在那裡舉啞鈴，一些剪著Mohawk 頭，戴鼻環，手臂和胸部都是刺青。大力士們的臂肌和胸肌都是一條條，一塊塊的，隨著他們舉重動作優雅地跳舞。跳舞，對的，不是幻覺，讓人不禁多看一眼。一看那啞鈴，50磅！

我在想，下次我用紙做兩個80磅尺碼的啞鈴，塗上相同的顏色，以假亂真，偷偷拿進去，然後若無其事的舉，看看那些大力士們的反應。剛剛有人告訴我李鬼的斧頭是木頭做的，那麼我的啞鈴為何不能是紙做的呢？

August 6, 2016