寓言 - 上帝戒律的最新版本

最近有關微軟公司創始人比爾.蓋茨離婚的新聞被人熱炒。比爾.蓋茨是一個複雜的人，集多重人格於一身。因而人們對之褒貶不一。

二十多年前，筆者在波士頓的一份地鐵小報上讀到一篇英文諷刺寓言《最新的版本》（Latest Book），作者何人已不可考。

該文借聖經里摩西十戒的故事諷刺某世界知名電腦操作系統公司（似乎指的就是比爾.蓋茨的微軟公司），憑藉市場壟斷地位，不斷改頭換面，更新操作系統版本，折騰用戶。新版本推出以後，過一段時間，便不再支持老版本，變相逼著用戶去買新版本。

寓言之意不言自明：君子愛財，亦當取之有道。奈何為圈錢而不惜折騰天下人？

筆者試譯原文如下。

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摩西去到山上。

上帝給了他刻在石碑上的十誡。碑上標明「版本1.0」。

「我是你們的上帝耶和華，你們不能信仰別的神。」

還有其他吩咐。

摩西感謝主，下山去了。

他將十誡給了他的人民。他們將它寫進聖經里。他們開始使用這些戒律去規範他們的生活。起初有點困難，但很快事情就變得容易了。人們都很高興。

上帝在摩西的夢中顯靈。「我有一個新的，」他說，「版本1.1，它將使誡律更容易執行，並覆蓋更多的是非問題。」他將新版本塞給了摩西。

摩西將新版本帶給他的人民。他們從聖經原有戒律中抹去了幾個字，在書邊空白處新加上幾個字。這雖有點麻煩，但它確實使戒律更容易執行。

有少數人沒有修改他們的聖經。他們堅持用版本1.0。但很快，為了合群，他們也決定跟上。

幾個月過去了，上帝又出現在摩西的夢中。「另一個新版本，」上帝說。

於是，摩西將版本1.2帶給了他的人民。

更多的擦除，聖經空白處有了更多的塗鴉，但人們想要與時俱進。他們希望有最新的上帝旨意。至少大部分人是這樣想的。

也有一些抱怨。「版本1.1還可以用，」有些人說。「我們不需要那些無關緊要的修飾。」

不久，版本1.3和1.4又在夢中傳給了摩西，經書已變得有點亂了。人們已經不能記住他們應當遵守的誡律是哪個版本。

但上帝沒有閑著。過了一段時間，他再次招摩西上山。他交給摩西新的、更大的碑文。

「誡律5.0，」他說。「你不能沒有他們。」

「怎麼回事？沒有版本2、3和4？」摩西問。

「哦，這是迄…迄今為止，好…好得多的，」上帝說。「這是一個重大飛躍，用戶友好型，許多新功能。」

「但它太大，」摩西說。「我們的聖經裝它不下。」

「是時候該買新抄本了，」上帝說。「買更大、更好、有很多備用頁面的抄本，我簡直不能相信你們仍然在使用三年前的那些破爛的舊抄本。」

摩西望著巨大的石碑暗自叫苦。「我承認，這個新誡律5.0很好，」他說，「但是難道所有這些雞毛蒜皮的調整和吹毛求疵的修改不會使人們更難分辨是非嗎？在這世界上有誰會記得住這些規??則呢？」

「我是你們的上帝耶和華，」上帝說。「那些繼續使用誡律版本1的人將不會從我這裡得到任何支持。」

摩西從山上下來，命令他的人民去購買更大、更好、有很多備用頁面的聖經抄本。

「為什麼我們需要所有這些額外的空間？」有人問。

然而，當他們剛剛將誡律5.0複製到聖經中，上帝又給了摩西新版的5.1，然後5.2，然後5.3。很快，多餘的頁面滿了，刪除開始了。書邊空白處滿是塗鴉。人們開始就法律的定義爭吵不休。幾乎沒有人能記住誡律版本5的所有功能。

三年過去了，摩西又一次被招喚到山上。超級誡律10.0。「它超越過去的一切，」上帝說。「它有一種功能可以用來對付你可能遇到的每一種是非情況。你不能沒有它。」

「此外，不再繼續向誡律5.0提供支持了，」上帝說。

「我們的經文抄本絕不可能裝下它，」摩西抗議。

「去買新抄本，」上帝說。

於是摩西將碩大的新碑文搬運下山。當人們看到他來，都跑了，躲藏起來 – 只有幾個誡律書獃子除外，他們得到了最新的上帝旨意。

「哇，」書獃子說。「七十三種方式保持神聖的安息日。二十七種方法偷鄰居的妻子。四十五種方法... ...」

「買新抄本！」摩西指示道。

摩西和書獃子環顧四周，尋找藏起來的人。

「快點！」摩西大叫。「版本10.1即將到來。」

但人們溜走了，聚集在一個偏僻的地方。他們拋棄了聖經。他們弄來一張精製羊皮紙，在上面，他們寫下了上帝旨意中適合他們需要的話：

「己所不欲... ...」



Latest Book

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Moses went up the mountain.

There God gave him Ten Commandments carved into stone tablets. The tablets were labeled "Version 1.0."

"I am the Lord thy God, thy shalt not have strange gods before thee."

And all the rest.

Moses thanked the Lord and went down the mountain.

He gave the Commandments to his people. They wrote the Commandments in their holy books. They began to use the Commandments to order their lives. It was difficult at first, but soon things were going swimmingly. The people were happy.

God came to Moses in a dream. "I have an update," he said. "Version 1.1. It will make the Commandments easier to follow. And cover more ethical questions." He whispered the update to Moses.

Moses gave the update to his people. They erased a few words of the older Commandments from their holy books, and wrote new words in the margins. It was a bit of a bother, but it did make the Commandments easier to follow.

A few people did not revise their holy books. They stuck with Version 1.0. But soon they decided to go along too, for the sake of conformity.

Months passed, and again God came to Moses in a dream. "Another update," said God.

And so Moses went to the people with Version 1.2.

More erasing, more scribbling in margins, but the people wanted to be up-to-date. They wanted to have the latest Godware. Most of them, at least.

There was some grumbling. "Version 1.1 was fine," some people said. "We don't need the bells and whistles."

Soon Versions 1.3 and 1.4 were spoken to Moses in dreams, and the holy books were becoming a bit of a mess. People could not remember which version of the Commandments they were supposed to be following.

But God had not been idle. After a decent time elapsed, he again called Moses to the mountain. He handed Moses new and bigger tablets.

"The Commandments5.0," he said. "You can't live without them."

"What happened to Versions 2, 3 and 4?" asked Moses.

"Oh, this is far, far better that that," said God. "This is a quantum leap forward. User friendly. Many new features."

"But it's too big," said Moses. "It won't fit into our holy books."

"Time to buy new holy books," said God. "Bigger, better holy books, with lots of spare pages. I can't believe you are still using those tattered old volumes from three years ago."

Moses looked at the big tablets and groaned. "I'm sure these new Commandments5.0 are fine," he said, "but don't all these situational refinements and hair-splitting distinctions make it harder to tell right from wrong? How in the world will the people keep the rules in mind?"

"I am the Lord thy God," said God. "Folks who continue using Commandments1 will get no support from me."

Moses went down from the mountain and ordered his people to buy bigger and better holy books, with lots of spare pages.

"Why do we need all that extra space?" the people asked.

But no sooner had they copied Commandments5.0 into the books than God gave Moses update 5.1. Then 5.2. Then 5.3. Soon the extra pages were filled and the erasing began. And the scribbling in margins. People began squabbling over the meaning of the laws. Almost no one could keep in mind all the features of Commandments5.

Three years passed and Moses got another call to the mountain. UltraCommandments10.0. "Makes everything else obsolete," said God. "A feature for every ethical situation you are likely to encounter. You can't live without it."

"And besides, no more support for Commandments5.0," said God.

"It will never fit in the holy books," protested Moses.

"New books," said God.

So Moses lugged the voluminous new tablets down the mountain, and when the people saw him coming, they ran and hid -- except for a few commandment nerds, who just had to have the latest Godware.

"Wow," said the nerds. "Seventy-three ways to keep holy the sabbath. Twenty-seven ways to covet thy neighbor's wife. Forty-five ways to…"

"New books!" commanded Moses.

Moses and the nerds cast about, looking for the people.

"Hurry!" shouted Moses. "Version 10.1 is coming soon."

But the people had slipped away and gathered in a remote place. They abandoned the holy books. They fetched a single fine piece of parchment, and on it they wrote the Godware that was appropriate to their needs:

"Do unto others…"