SOME JOKES TO SHARE

Hey here's 2 more jokes to lighten up the mood, fwded from some1 who never fails to brighten up my days with corny and witty jokes!

[B]1) The Vegetable Garden[/B]

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.

The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

The woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous



[B]2) Essay Writing :[/B]

Ted is 7-yr old n he's very bad in essay writing.
one day the teacher asked the class to write a 500-word essay base on any title they like. Ted thought real hard n finally he started his essay:

Titled: Composition - my lost cat

One day i lost my kitty, i went out to the street n started calling: kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty..." but she never comes back, that's how i lost my cat. (510 words)




some joke to ligthen up the mood
>
> A "modern" Islamic couple, preparing for a religious wedding meets
> with their Mullah for counseling.
>
> The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.
>
> The man asks, "We realize it's a tradition in Islam for men to dance
> with men, and women to dance with women. But at our wedding reception,
> we'd like your permission to dance together."
>
> "Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always
> dance separately."
>
> "So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
>
> "No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
>
> "Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
>
> "Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Allah'u'Akbar! Sex is OK within
> marriage to have children!"
>
> "What about different positions?" asks the man.
>
> "Allah'u'Akbar! No problem," says the Mullah.
>
> "Woman on top?" the man asks.
>
> "Sure," says the Mullah. "Allah'u'Akbar. Go for it!"
>
> "Doggy ?"
>
> "Sure! Allah'u'Akbar!"
>
> "On the kitchen table?"
>
> "Yes, yes! Allah'u'Akbar!"
>
> "Can we do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a
> bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket
> of honey and a porno video?"
>
> "You may indeed. Allah'u'Akbar!"
>
> "Can we do it standing up?"
>
> "No." says the Mullah.
>
> "Why not?" asks the man.
>
> "Because that could lead to dancing!"
>