對抗賭癮 尋求幫助
加州「脫癮、犯罪及家庭復原」輔導員、亞裔青少年中心(Asian Youth Center)親子教育專家呂申香指出,在前來求助的賭客,不少是貨車司機,也有的在中國大陸已開始賭博。賭博已成為家庭問題,甚至發展到家暴,賭客輸錢后,回家就拿老婆、孩子出氣,動不動就大發脾氣,嚴重者更拳打腳踢。家人往往抱著「家醜不可外揚」的心態忍氣吞聲,不願意向外界求助,很多人認為只有精神病才需要看醫生。華人本身對心理治療的排斥和忽視,是影響他們及時調解和擺脫成癮性賭博的障礙。
華人何以好賭?呂申香認為,一是因為語言問題;二是缺乏娛樂;三是無法融入當地主流生活。
在大西洋城12家賭場中,大部分成立亞洲部,設有華裔牌九專門服務區,提供中文服務和富亞洲特色的娛樂設施,經常邀請港台歌星前往賭場演唱,提供免費自助餐,聘請亞裔員工,包括收費小姐、導遊、司機、餐廳員工等,不少是華裔,可講普通話、廣東話、福建話、上海話等,讓華人賭客有「賓至如歸」之感。
呂申香指出,賭博可分為社交賭博和病態賭博(pathological gambling),病態賭博是指沉溺於賭博不能自拔,參與賭博已成為強迫性行為,演變到影響工作甚至傷害家庭的地步。她指出,社交賭博是良性消遣,對金錢時間有一定控制,認識到輸是遊戲一部分,沒有非要把輸掉的錢贏回來不可的想法;病態賭博是一種病,當一個人的賭博行為出現失控,甚至在因賭博而產生各種問題和壓力而無法自拔時,仍有持續賭博的念頭,便是病態賭徒。
她說,賭博帶來的傷害不僅是金錢方面的損失,受害者在心靈、情緒以致身體健康上受的傷害,更非金錢可以衡量。病態賭博往往禍延三代,包括父母、本人與配偶、兄弟姊妹及子女。她指出,華人賭客不少屬於「病態賭徒」。不能諱忌疾醫,一定要尋求心理輔導才能解決問題。
走火入魔 累及家庭
有人認為文化程度不高的人才會賭博,其實不然,受過高等教育的人一樣賭性堅強。住在紐約布魯克林的牙醫W先生也是染上賭癮,不但輸掉太太的衣廠、自己的牙醫診所,還賠上婚姻和子女,親友避之唯恐不及,眾叛親離。妻子為了躲避追債,遠走他州。
W先生一表人才。他的太太在布魯克林八大道經營衣廠起家,然後進軍房地產,成為有名的「富婆」。經同學牽線,返廣州與W先生結婚,申請他來美國。
W先生在妻子資助下,獲得紐約大學牙醫學位,然後考取紐約牙醫執照。W太太深愛丈夫,凡事百依百順,沒想到反而縱容了丈夫。正當她沉浸在「幸福」中時,沒想到W先生染上賭癮,經常丟下預約上門求診的病人不顧,在賭場賭得天昏地暗。直到上門討債,W太太才驚覺丈夫成了賭徒。
最初W太太希望用愛心打動丈夫,每次他從賭場回家,她心疼他捱更熬夜,還燉燕窩湯讓他「補身子」。沒想到他有恃無恐,變本加厲,越賭越大,不但到賭場賭,也常去光顧華埠地下賭檔。W太太忍痛幫他賣掉幾棟房子償還賭債。每次債主臨門時,W先生都痛哭流涕表示這是「最後一次」了,今後一定洗心革面,痛改前非,央求妻子原諒,但一旦手上有錢就又「好了傷疤忘了痛」,有時接連「失蹤」數日,最後還是太太到地下賭場把他「揪」回來。
W太太軟硬兼施,用盡方法仍不能讓丈夫戒掉賭癮,只好實施「經濟封鎖」,無論他怎麼聲淚俱下,鐵了心再不妥協,W先生便厚著臉皮到處跟親友借錢。再後來醫生圈子都傳開他「嗜賭如命」,大家避之唯恐不及。W太太表示,曾多次給丈夫機會,併發出「最後通牒」,如繼續執迷不悟,將恩斷義絕。最後她發覺「一個爛賭的人完全沒救了」,為免到頭來一無所有,只好下堂求去。即使這樣,債主仍不斷上門騷擾她,為免生不測,只好「斬腳趾避沙蟲」,避居外州。
中國新聞網
2010年8月17日
世界日報:華裔渣男邸千賭場輸精光 報警強逼房東借錢 家庭旅館惡房客 拿錢落跑
在法拉盛Ash大道夾邦恩街(Bowne St.)某家庭旅館租一個床位的中年華裔男子邸千,日前向警方指稱房東把門反鎖、扔他東西等多種惡劣手段企圖非法驅趕。房東孫先生則稱,雙方糾紛是因邸千欠龐大賭債,沒從他那裡借到錢而報警。警方介入后,雙方終於和解,邸千帶著房東借他的數百元日前搬出家庭旅館,並留下一封給房東的信,作為借據。
房客邸千投訴稱,房東孫先生得知市樓宇局(Building Department)要來檢查后,開始驅趕房客,因他不肯搬走,多次把門反鎖,扔掉他放在冰箱的食物和一些日用品,還企圖把他的行李箱扔到街頭。
針對這起投訴,孫先生表示,「這房客不久前因攻擊罪被捕,釋放后沒錢,我出於好心讓他住進來,勸他改惡從善。」
孫先生指出,雙方此次衝突的起因是賭博,「上月20日,他說賭博輸掉老闆讓他辦事的錢,不還錢工作就沒了,因此開口向我借1000元,我沒借他,後來了解到他把離婚賣房剛分到的錢也輸掉了,而且向幾個人借錢還沒還」。
「因為我不借他錢,他就不付租金並威脅稱,這個家庭旅館非法,他就在這裡不走,而且要去舉報,讓旅館開不下去。這種情況下,我決定關閉家庭旅館,讓其他住客搬走。沒想到,他開始搞破壞,弄壞電飯鍋、撬門、砸鎖、威脅,朝我臉上吐口水,拳頭在我眼前晃,嚇得我們不敢進屋。」
關於邸千投訴他換鎖一事,孫先生指出,對方聽說如果房東換鎖,警察可以逮捕房東,於是就以換鎖為由,兩次從逃生樓梯爬到四樓,從窗口進入。孫先生解釋,他開始並沒有換鎖,後來不得已才換鎖是因為邸千在鎖心裡塞了牙籤。
孫先生強調,「我並沒有扔他的行李,現在他連吃飯的錢都沒有,前幾天,想向我要3000元,最少2500元,說拿到錢馬上就搬走。我最終給了他700元,他在周二早上搬走了,還寫了一封給我的道歉信,此事也算告一段落」。
孫先生指出,紐約有上千家家庭旅館,數以萬計的華裔房東分租床位給打工者。家庭旅館和分租都不合法規,但卻為眾多收入不高、以打工為生、甚至要寄錢回國的華裔移民提供很多便利、降低他們的生活成本,為政府解決一些社會問題。
世界日報記者/紐約報導
July 28, 2015
邸千,男,1971年2月出生,遼寧省大連市人,現居紐約法拉盛,職業是送貨司機。嗜好抽煙賭博,打架鬥毆,詐騙,欠債不還,誣告債主及房東。有犯罪被捕入獄記錄。
Failed gambler Qian Di occupied a guesthouse and extorted $3000 (World Journal news)
An evil tenant blackmailed money from a guesthouse then escaped
Qian Di, a middle-aged Chinese man who rented a bed from a guesthouse on the Ash Avenue and Bowne Street in the Flushing Town, recently told the police that his landlord try to drive out him illegally with a variety of harsh means, such as locked the door and throw his baggage. However, the landlord Mr.Sun said, their dispute is due to Qian Di owed huge gambling debts, and can not to borrow money from him, then, called the police. Through the police intervention, the two sides finally reconciled----Qian Di moved out of the guesthouse recently with hundreds dollars the landlord lent him, and left a letter to landlord for a debt note.
The tenant Qian Di complained that his landlord Sun drives all tenants while hearsay the City Department of Buildings will examine to come. Mr.Sun locked the door repeatedly, and threw his refrigerator foods and some daily necessities because he refused to move out. Mr.Sun even attempted to throw his trunk to the street.
In view of this complaint, Mr.Sun said, "This tenant was arrested by the attack crime not long ago. He has no money after the release. I let him lived here by my kindness. Also I advised him to mend his ways."
Mr.Sun pointed out that cause of conflict is Qian Di indulged in gambling. "On the 20th of last month, Qian Di told me that he lost the payment for goods of his boss in the gambling. He was afraid that he might lose his job if he doesn't return the payment to his boss. Therefore he asked me to loan $1000. I didn't lend money to him yet. Soon after, I learned that he had sold his house which he got by the divorce case. He also borrowed money from many people and has not returned to them."
"He didn't pay the rental to me because I didn't lend money to him. He declared this guesthouse is illegal. He will not only to stay living here, but also will report to the government. He threatened to make my guesthouse close. In this case, I decided to close the guesthouse, and persuaded other residents move away. Unexpectedly, he began to engage in sabotage, such as damaged the electric rice cooker, and pried the doors, and smashed locks.He was using violence and intimidation. He spited in my face, and shook his fist in front of me. Therefore we dare not enter here again."
Regarding the case which Qian Di complained his landlord changed the lock, Mr.Sun pointed out that Qian Di knew the law requires that the police can arrest the landlord who changes the lock without authorization. Thus Qian Di use it as an excuse to climbed from the escape stairs to the 4th floor and came into the window. Mr.Sun explained that he would not change the lock originally, but he changed it later because of Qian Di crammed the toothpick in the lock.
Mr.Sun stressed, "I did not throw his luggage. Qian Di has no money to buy foods now. A few days ago, He ask me to borrow $3000, at least $2500. He said that he will leave at once, as soon as he gets the money. Finally I gave him $700. He, then, moved out on Tuesday morning, and wrote an apology letter to me. This matter was end."
Mr.Sun pointed out that there are thousands of guesthouses in New York. Tens of thousands of Chinese landlords sublet beds for the migrant workers. The beds subletting of the guesthouses are illegal, but they provide some conveniences for many Chinese immigrants who are low-income, and work for a living, or even to send money to home. The guesthouses reduce their living costs, and help the government to solve some social problems.
World Journal reporter / New York post
July 28, 2015
Translator: Ms.Le Zhou
(Qian Di, a Chinese male, born on February 21, 1971. He is living in Flushing town, New York City now. He is addicted to gambling, fighting, fraud, false debt, falsely accuses the creditors and the landlord. He has some criminal records. Warning: Do not lend your money or rent your room for the Chinese gambler Qian Di! If you find out that he is trying to harm you, please report to the police immediately. His SSN is 115-23-9532.)
病態賭博的十種特徵:1. 在賭博上花費的時間和金錢多於自己能夠負擔或事前安排的;2. 借錢賭博;3. 把用於必需品(如食物、房租等)的錢拿去賭;4. 因賭博而忽視重要的責任(如工作、學業或家庭);5. 撒謊或隱瞞賭博的程度;6. 試圖贏回輸掉的錢;7. 為了金錢的問題與你的朋友和家人爭吵;8. 因賭博而未付賬單;9. 四處躲債;10. 為賴賬而誣陷謀害債主。賭徒邸千到處騙,欠債沒臉回大連。賭徒邸千來租房,關門趕他滾遠點。賭徒邸千來借錢,與他絕交不多言。賭徒邸千來敲詐,別怕報警他有案。
|