倍可親

一劍封喉,評海外的「恨賦」 譯文,作者南朝梁文學家江淹

作者:劉小曼  於 2016-8-14 01:11 發表於 最熱鬧的華人社交網路--貝殼村

作者分類:詩詞翻譯|通用分類:其它日誌|已有1評論

評海外的「恨賦」 譯文,作者南朝梁文學家江淹
海外的「恨賦」 譯文太差,存心讓原作者南朝梁文學家江淹死不瞑目,恨上加恨, 咬牙切齒,可逝者又能怎麼樣呢?  

海外還附一個說明:


"說明﹕江淹的「恨賦」﹑「別賦」(附後)乃兩篇文學性極強的賦文。本人一向持
不入虎穴焉得虎子之翻譯姿態﹐就是要譯別人不敢譯之高難度作品。果不其然﹐網
上找不到第二人之翻譯。難道華人中竟無對手﹐一呈其水平歟﹖古來譯手皆寂寞。
可知華夏域中﹐盡多沽名釣譽之徒﹐而無真才實學之輩。可不嘆歟。余冀此輩之中﹐
激勵之下﹐或有知恥之人﹐奮起一譯﹐以符余望。「


這段話是他的自我檢討嗎?  如果是,他說自己是沽名釣譽之徒,不知廉恥,沒有真才實學,那麼 除這幾句講得好外, 譯文真是不忍卒讀。  


我的上一個帖大家也看到我為讀者翻譯的老外詩人們對這個ID海外的詩詞譯文的評論, 真是慘不忍睹, 在這裡: http://www.yidian.org/view-thread-23761.html



好,現在我們來看看ID為海外的「恨賦」譯文,看看Ta是怎樣糟蹋這位南朝梁文學家江淹的傳世佳作: 


(1 ) 首句Ta就理解錯了。 首句「試望平原,蔓草縈骨,拱木斂魂。」
意思是指 「秋色連天,平原萬里。這裡是古戰場的殘跡。放眼望去,只有那纏繞著屍骨的蔓
草和那陰森的枯木。 它如同一座收斂魂魄的地獄,凄涼,蕭索。 」

由於這個ID海外沒能理解原文的意思,Ta譯成: Let me watch the battlefield plain: wild weeds entwining bones and trees before tombs gathering ghosts.   
翻譯太差,文法不通,不是英語句子,可以看出大概意思是:讓我看戰場平原︰  野草纏繞骨頭和樹在墳墓前。
 
原文沒有「讓我看」這個表達。原文是蕭索,凄涼的情景描述。 
如果譯者一定要用Entwine 就得要用With 
譯者不明白「拱木」 的意思,所以沒有把拱木譯出,只簡單地譯成Trees

根據字典:

拱木
基本解釋:
________________________________________
1.徑圍大如兩臂合圍的樹。泛指大樹。
2.《左傳.僖公三十二年》:"爾何知?中壽,爾墓之木拱矣。"后因稱墓旁之木為拱木。亦婉指已死                                       


我試譯:  Under the autumn sky, it is a vast extended plain-- the remnant of an ancient battlefield. Looking ahead, as far as I can see, all in my eyes are creeping weeds intricately entwining with bones and gloomy dead trees. As if a hell of convergence of souls, it feels so desolate and melancholy.   (初稿)


(2)  第二句:「人生到此,天道寧論?於是僕本恨人,心驚不已。」
它的意思是:如果人生已經走到這一步,又怎能知曉天道安在?滿目孤愁,心懷萬般傷痛,腦海中彷彿又憶起隨時間遠去的亡靈。

海外的譯文:At this stage of life, is it imperative to
talk of Providence? I am thus a born regretter, being stunned to no end.
I think of the ancients regretting of such death. (我看不明白Ta到底想說什麼)


我試譯: When your life reaches this stage, how can you still believe that there are really laws of nature existing out there?  My heart aches for this sorrowful scene as if it calls to mind spirits that have faded away  following the wheel of time . (初稿)

(待續)



海外的原譯文:

Essay on Regretting
by Jiang Yan of South Dynasties

Let me watch the battlefield plain: wild weeds entwining bones and trees
before tombs gathering ghosts.  At this stage of life, is it imperative to
talk of Providence? I am thus a born regretter, being stunned to no end.
I think of the ancients regretting of such death. As for Emperor of Qin holding
sword and lords marching westward. At last he conquered all the states under
heaven and united languages and measures. Mt. Hua became city wall and Purple
Abyss deep pond  (moat). Although his ambition fulfilled, his wish by force
never ended. Just after he used turtle and crocodile as beams, he traveled
to the seaside to see the sun down. But once his soul left his body, his
palace hearse was pulled out (to his tomb) in the evening.
         When King Zhao was captured, he was sent to Fangling. His heart throbbed
at dusk and his spirit rose at dawn at bidding farewell to his gorgeous
concubines and beautiful women and at losing his pompous golden coach and
jade chaise. As he was about to drink the wine served, his sorrow filled
his chest. He could never overcome his regret for thousand autumns and myriad
years.
         As general Li surrendered to the northern tribe, his name was in disgrace
and he himself was wronged. He drew out his sword to strike at a pillar,
lamenting his own solitary shadow and ashamed of his lonely soul. His feelings
went out to his nation, but his heart remained in Goose Gate. He tore off
a piece of cloth to write a letter on it and tied it on the foot of a wild
goose. He vowed to return the favor of Han Dynasty. When morning dew came
all at once, what could be said while shaking hands?
         When Concubine Ming left, she raised her head to Heaven and heaved a sigh.
The Purple Terrace was too far and Passes extended without an end. Soughing
winds suddenly arose and the sun hid in the west. Wild geese in Long were
few, flying, and clouds over Dai had little color, showing. She wanted to
look at the emperor, but how could she fulfill her wish? She would end her
life like withering weeds in the strange region.
         As to Jingtong having given offense, he was dismissed from office and went
home. He shut himself up, no longer receiving guests. He closed his door,
and decided never to be at court again. He faced his wife and played with
children. He did not stand on ceremony before dukes and courtiers. He held
special views about literature and history. He harbored an ambition, but
nowhere to realize it. His regret had no end.
         When Ji Kang was thrown into prison, he put on agitated airs. He drank
scummy wine at sunset and laid out the plain zither in the morning. The
autumn day was bleak and chilly. The floating clouds were dim and dark.
Although he had unusual will like brilliant afterglow, he got into the long
night without the sunrise.
         There might be lonely courtiers shedding tears, unfilial sons being downhearted,
demoted officials roaming on the sea or exiled to cold Long area. Such
persons, once hearing sad winds rise, would weep blood soaking the gown.
They also experienced hardship and regret, and ended their lives for nothing
like sinking into smoke. As for horse hoof prints and coach traces overlapping
each other, and yellow dust whirling on the ground, and songs and music sounding
everywhere, all finished like smoke vanishing and fire extinguished, or bones
buried by springs underground.
         Be it so! When autumn winds arise surprisingly, spring grass will wither;
but when autumn winds subside, spring grass revives. Gauze and satin will
no longer exist; ponds and houses will disappear; zithers and lutes will
become dust; mounds and graves will be leveled. There has been death since
time of yore. There's never without regret and wailing choked.
所有註解在此從略。





恨賦 (南朝)江淹  
試望平原,蔓草縈骨,拱木斂魂。人生到此,天道寧論?於是僕本恨人,心驚不已。
直念古者,伏恨而死。 至如秦帝按劍,諸侯西馳。削平天下,同文共規,華山為城,
紫淵為池。雄圖既溢,武力未畢。方架黿鼉以為梁,巡海右以送日。一旦魂斷,宮
車晚出。 若乃趙王既虜,遷於房陵。薄暮心動,昧旦神興。別艷姬與美女,喪金輿
及玉乘。置酒欲飲,悲來填膺。千秋萬歲,為怨難勝。 至如李君降北,名辱身冤。
拔劍擊柱,弔影慚魂。情往上郡,心留雁門。裂帛系書,誓還漢恩。朝露溘至,握
手何言? 若夫明妃去時,仰天太息。紫台稍遠,關山無極。搖風忽起,白日西匿。
隴雁少飛,代雲寡色。望君王兮何期?終蕪絕兮異域。 至乃敬通見抵,罷歸田裡。
閉關卻掃,塞門不仕。左對孺人,顧弄稚子。脫略公卿,跌宕文史。 賚志沒地,長
懷無已。 及夫中散下獄,神氣激揚。濁醪夕引,素琴晨張。秋日蕭縈,浮雲無光。
郁青霞之奇意,入修夜之不晹。 或有孤臣危涕,孽子墜心。遷客海上,流戍隴陰,
此人但聞悲風汩起,血下沾衿。亦復含酸茹嘆,銷落湮沉。 若乃騎疊跡,車屯軌,
黃塵匝地,歌吹四起。無不煙斷火絕,閉骨泉里。 已矣哉!春草暮兮秋風驚,秋風
罷兮春草生。綺羅畢兮池館盡,琴瑟滅兮丘壟平。自古皆有死,莫不飲恨而吞聲。



使君才氣卷波瀾。與把好詩再譯
2016-8-11 19:01
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小草

#2  
entwine 可以是及物動詞


2016-8-11 19:19
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Xiaoman

#3  


引用:
Originally posted by 小草 at 2016-8-11 19:19:
entwine 可以是及物動詞

thanks!  Grammatically you are right. Just to emphasize on the scene that the creeping weeds entangled with the dead trees.  


en·twine
   (ĕn-twīn′)
v. en·twined, en·twin·ing, en·twines

v.tr.
To twine around or together: The ivy entwined the column.

v.intr.
To twine or twist together.



使君才氣卷波瀾。與把好詩再譯
2016-8-11 19:36
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小草

#4  
神氣激揚 - put on "agitated" airs / why agitated?


2016-8-11 19:39
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小草

#5  
There has been death since time of yore. ----- times or days of yore?


2016-8-11 19:54
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小草

#6  
小曼同學,我提個建議哈,你最好避免 「我替(幫)某某改「 這樣之類的言辭。這樣你的形象更完美。不要讓任何人有借口和把柄。


2016-8-11 20:10
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小草

#7  
Ok, what is the difference between unite languages and unify languages?


2016-8-11 20:19
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小草

#8  
流戍隴陰 --- exiled to cold Long area / 這個 cold Long  估計一般老外讀者不會明白,除非是漢學家。cold Long 中西結合

Long 龍 / 籠 / 壟 which is which? 特別是現在國人都強調要用 Long 替代 dragon, hmm, it seems somewhat misleading...


2016-8-11 20:33
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小草

#9  
已矣哉 ---- be it so or so be it?


2016-8-11 21:31
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小草

#10  
Be it so
Related to Be it so: ISO, sox, SOA, Sony
a phrase of supposition, equivalent to suppose it to be so; or of permission, signifying let it be so.


2016-8-11 21:32
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小草

#11  
so be it
So be it.
This is the way it will be. If you insist on running off and marrying her, so be it. Only don't say I didn't warn you! Mary has decided that this is what she wants. So be it.
McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs. © 2002 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.
so be it
nothing can be done about this Start with the most important thing you need to do, and if nothing else gets done, so be it.
Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms Copyright © Cambridge University Press 2003. Reproduced with permission.
so be it
Let it be so, I accept it as it is. For example, If you can't change the reservation, so be it; I'll travel on Monday. This phrase, often given as a translation of the Hebrew (and Greek and Latin) amen, has been employed in the current sense since about 1600.


2016-8-11 21:33
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Xiaoman

#12  
多謝小草的善於提醒。 :) 修改了。

很高興和才高八斗,心胸豁達的小草交流, 受益匪淺。




小草的英語和翻譯都是一級棒,遠在我之上是我學習的榜樣。


謝謝你!


2016-8-11 21:42
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Xiaoman

#13  
已矣哉意思是罷了,算了,絕望詞。
參考:http://pedia.cloud.edu.tw/Entry/Detail/?title=已矣

海外譯成 be it so, means let it be so.但願如此。不是原文的意思。

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Be+it+so

原文意思: 這一切都將近結束了,罷了!


2016-8-11 22:03
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Xiaoman

#14  
soon it all will be gone.


2016-8-11 22:12
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Xiaoman

#15  
as for emperor ....單獨一句。

跟下一句 at last 什麼關係?


2016-8-11 23:23
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Xiaoman

#16  
Mt hua became city wall,典型中式英語,缺 一個冠詞 a


to see the sun down --to see the sun come down


2016-8-11 23:33
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Xiaoman

#17  
Without the sunrise

--- with no sunrise 不需the


2016-8-11 23:41
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小草

#18  


引用:
Originally posted by Xiaoman at 2016-8-12 04:33 AM:
Mt hua became city wall,典型中式英語,缺 一個冠詞 a


to see the sun down --to see the sun come down

Down can be a verb ), xiaoman, you need to make sure there is no room for any type of excuse.


2016-8-11 23:46
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小草

#19  
In other words, you simply say check mate! That is it, the game is over. )


2016-8-11 23:49
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小草

#20  
你要做到 一劍封喉!


2016-8-11 23:51
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小草

#21  


引用:
Originally posted by Xiaoman at 2016-8-12 04:41 AM:
Without the sunrise

--- with no sunrise 不需the

贊同小曼同學!熟練應用小詞和冠詞一直是 non-native speakers 的一個關。我覺得海外逸士應該對此給出個交代,你為何要在此用冠詞?


2016-8-12 03:46
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小草

#22  
華山為城 ---- 這個城應該就是長城,the Great Wall, 而非一般的所謂的城牆吧? city wall ?


2016-8-12 04:49
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小草

#23  
Passes extended without an end--- an doesn't seem necessary, does it?  The world without end


2016-8-12 05:37
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Xiaoman

#24  
黃塵匝地,歌吹四起。無不煙斷火絕,閉骨泉里

海外譯 and yellow dust whirling on the ground, and songs and music sounding
everywhere, all finished like smoke vanishing and fire extinguished, or bones
buried by springs underground.     (可見譯得他很痛苦,難受像便秘)

江淹的意思是: 黃煙滾滾翻騰著,哀歌從每個心靈深處的角落逐漸響起

血淚泣盡,流逝於時間,斷送於黃沙。惟有大漠的孤煙消散了,惟有最後一匹駿馬的白骨緩緩沒入那幽咽的寒泉


2016-8-12 06:16
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Xiaoman

#25  
歌吹四起,海外直譯 songs and music sounding everywhere.

海外理解不了句子的涵義,什麼歌?哀歌?怨曲還是歡樂頌Ode to joy?

主題是一個「恨」字,你必須圍繞主題去理解原作的用詞。


2016-8-12 06:27
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Xiaoman

#26  
南鄉子    一劍封喉

暴雨怒通宵,秋晚狂風卷飄搖。 洗盡人間世俗塵, 蕭蕭。 劣跡斑斑亦全消。

我劍要出鞘,鬼魅魍魎無處逃。 天地正氣攔不住, 滔滔。 一把龍淵斬魔妖。


Heavily it rains throughout the night,
the crazy autumn winds blow so high.
Rain washes all dust off everything,
while winds are constantly howling.
All bad stains are being bleached,
I pull out my sword from the sheath:
all devils have nowhere to run away,
nothing can block the righteous way.
Justice soars up to the awesome sky,
I'll kill them with my Longyuan knife.
Nov.25, 2015


2016-8-12 06:42
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Xiaoman

#27  
多謝小草大俠拔刀相助,

有事先退了。  後會有期!


2016-8-12 07:02
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小草

#28  


引用:
Originally posted by Xiaoman at 2016-8-12 11:42 AM:
南鄉子    一劍封喉

暴雨怒通宵,秋晚狂風卷飄搖。 洗盡人間世俗塵, 蕭蕭。 劣跡斑斑亦全消。

我劍要出鞘,鬼魅魍魎無處逃。 天地正氣攔不住, 滔滔。 一把龍淵斬魔妖。


Heavily it rains throughout..

Justice soars up to the awesome sky,
I'll kill them with my Longyuan knife.

---------------------

Into the mighty sky Justice has soared
Evils are chopped under my Longyuan sword


2016-8-12 07:41
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Xiaoman

#29  


引用:
Originally posted by 小草 at 2016-8-12 07:41:



Justice soars up to the awesome sky,
I'll kill them with my Longyuan knife.

---------------------

Into the mighty sky Justice has soared
Evils are chopped under my Longyuan sword

好!

小草改得不錯。

我原是想能主動語態的盡量主動。 :) 謝謝你!



使君才氣卷波瀾。與把好詩再譯
2016-8-12 08:29
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海外逸士

#30  
要試譯一篇高深的古文,即使看不懂,只要有別人譯過,拿來修修改改,就能應付。但亂加意思,語句不到位,又有什麼意思。要表示有高水平,自己獨立翻譯以前沒人譯過的古文,就必定是高水平。我以前一直建議你們三位翻譯 王勃的"滕王閣序"。你們中沒有一個有勇氣去翻譯的。但又老是厚顏無恥吹噓自己水平高。高水平人就這麼不敢接受挑戰?

新來的小草 女士/先生 (究竟是女士還是先生? 確定了以後容易稱呼。) 就比你的水平高。很希望能讀到小草 女士/先生的精彩譯稿或原創英文。謝謝。


2016-8-12 09:48
博客  資料  主頁  簡訊   編輯  引用  報告

Xiaoman

#31  
挑撥我與兩位教授被識破,轉而挑撥我和小草兄。哈哈哈哈哈哈! :)

各位觀眾看樂了。 哈哈 ! :) 這個80多的grandpa是多麼的有能耐。上竄下跳,急的。悠著點。再想想別的?比喻男女關係,女女關係?還是。。。幫你開發思路。


伊甸開心果小貝殼為大家報道


2016-8-12 09:53
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海外逸士

#32  
我有200多首,篇 翻譯,還有原創英文詩歌散文,你都拿過來,夠你忙的。如果你能都讀一遍,對你不無幫助。


2016-8-12 10:14
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Xiaoman

#33  


引用:
Originally posted by 海外逸士 at 2016-8-12 10:14:
我有200多首,篇 翻譯,還有原創英文詩歌散文,你都拿過來,夠你忙的。如果你能都讀一遍,對你不無幫助。

你寫得太爛。反面教材,不需要多。我沒有義務幫你。


 

 

 

 

這是我的翻譯和網友好評。我不認為自己譯得很好,但感謝各位網友的鼓勵。 這個ID長期騷擾我, 拿著他的爛譯文到幾十個大網站去撒, 吹自己天下第一, 並貶損各大名翻譯家。 有良知的人都看不慣這廝的做法。

 

 

The Ode To Resentment (translation)

Writer:  Jiangyan

Translator: Liu Xiaoman

Thousands of miles of prairies are under the autumn sky,
This is the remnant of the field for the ancients to fight.
Looking ahead, bones tangled with weeds can be seen,
And dark forests and dead woods are in the scene.
It seems so desolate, as if the spirits filled hell,
If not coming this far, you'd never known the good and evil.
Sorrows are everywhere and they hurt my painful heart,
What conjures up in my mind now is the dead afar.
Thinking of that, yonder, how many are holding grief,
bearing the pain until they die and still can't relieve?

Qin Shi Huang raised his sword toward the east,
But the troops of the nine alliances marched the west.
All the lords had fought endless for hundreds of years,
Driving the world to spin and the sun and moon have fears.
At last, Qin Shi Huang conquered the world,
Chopped all other civilizations into pieces with his sword.
Relying on the Mount Hua as the city wall,
and the bottomless deep moat to protect them all,
they had completed their great business----
calmed down the world, but hadn't changed their cruelties.
The regime was not stable, everything was changeable,
Thirty years of youth disappeared and not returnable.
Leaving only the loss and fears;soldiers guarding
the borders were dying, and their spirits toward west, flying.

After the King Zhao was captured, he left the vast territory
which had been guarded by his ancestors for almost a century.
Now he was riding the horse which was sadly wailing,
Followed by his men with tears, marching toward Fang Ling.
Whenever the sun set he recalled many things happened before,
But now all masonry and thrones in the palace were no more.
Recalling again and again, every time made him feel so hard,
Good bye luxury wagons and beautiful girls in his heart!
When he raised his cup, wanting to drown his sorrow,
All his sorrows and sadness poured out like waves and snow.
Alas! What a hateful thing: his ambition had been wasted,
and his young mind got old, leaving him feel frustrated!


A sad life he lived, although his fame was still there,
he held too much grudge that his fame could never compare.
Li Ling fought in deserts, marched to the north many miles,
but he still couldn't resist the cavalries of the barbarian tribes.
He bowed his head, his glory had become his infamy and shame,
All he had now was the bad memories and a bad name.
He pulled out his sword and hit the jade pole which was not real,
the unreal shadows, the ghost with grievance shivered in chill.
His heart was still with Han--staying in Yanmen, he had no choice.
How could the broken silk fabrics be used to express his voice?
"Let me go and die! In my next life I will pay back to you!"
Years later when the hazy sky was broken by the drops of dew.
His bad memories of life and death came back to him again,
if he could see his folks, what could he say beside the pain?

When Princess Ming was leaving, she heaved a sigh to the sky,
She sighed for her life, the cruelty she would face never be light.
The imperial wagons gradually disappeared in the hazy distance,
Thousands of miles away, how to fly back to see each other often?
In the long sky, when winds blew so high, the sun set to the horizon.
Geese in the Long areas flew south, leaving clouds alone.
At the moment, what could the Emperor back home think about?
The heavy sadness sent by the Barbarian Pipa was so loud!

Feng Yan was discharged from the army and went back home,
Ever since he refused to see any one, being so sad alone.
His wife and children remained all the same, nothing special,
But without a title, he was even belittled by a small official.
His big dream broke; he sighed in sorrow every day,
Talents were not used, his sad feelings could not go away.

Ji Kang drank alone at dusk, loneliness was his company,
He played the qin at dawn, he saw the sad autumn scenery.
As if in a trance, the Qinming sword rose high up into the air,
Reflecting the long dark night with its shine and flare.
The lonely old courtier once shed tears of regret and grievance,
His unfilial offspring would feel sad because of their ignorance.
The boundless waves might remind him of the life in exile.
The bad news hurt his heart which flew in winds for a long time,
Tears were hart to stop, and when they changed into blood,
How much bitterness could we taste when them came like flood?
We sought for the solemn tragedy of being defeated, but we failed,
We could not find the sadness by the yellowish dust trail.


Years had gone by, horseshoes had buried many a dynasty,
The wheel tracks turned into a silver river which was flowery.
Yellow smoke billowed; sad songs rose from souls' corner,
as time went by tears and blood disappeared in the desert.
Bones of the last horse whimpered into the cold spring,
Everything would be slowly going to reach an ending.
Seasons kept changing, time elapsed in winds and rain,
Grass kept growing, winds died down and picked up again.
Silk had lost their brilliance; red tiles had peeled off and
the harp strings broke; hills transformed into level lands.
Mountains and rivers remained unchanged;
Everyone must die, the natural rules never be changed!
But the country was no longer the same!
Seeing all these, who wouldn't sob for such a shame?

(The End)

Translator: 小貝殼

Writer: Jiang Yan (444-505) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Yan

The Original Version 恨賦:

http://baike.baidu.com/view/30666.htm

 
作品原文

編輯

試望平原,蔓草縈⑴骨,拱木斂魂。人生到此,天道寧論?於是仆本恨人,心驚不已。直念古者,伏恨而死。
至如秦帝按劍,諸侯西馳。削平天下,同文共規,華山為城,紫淵為池。雄圖既溢,武力未畢。方架黿⑵鼉⑶以為梁,巡海右以送日。一旦魂斷,宮車晚出
若乃趙王既虜,遷於房陵。薄暮心動,昧旦神興。別艷姬與美女,喪金輿及玉乘。置酒欲飲,悲來填膺。千秋萬歲,為怨難勝。
至如李君降北,名辱身冤。拔劍擊柱,弔影慚魂。情往上郡,心留雁門。裂帛系書,誓還漢恩。朝露溘⑷至,握手何言?
若夫明妃去時,仰天太息。紫台稍遠,關山無極。搖風忽起,白日西匿。隴雁少飛,代雲寡色。望君王兮何期?終蕪絕兮異域。
至乃敬通見抵,罷歸田裡。閉關卻掃,塞門不仕。左對孺人,顧弄稚子。脫略公卿,跌宕⑸文史。 齎⑹志沒地長懷無已。
及夫中散下獄,神氣激揚。濁醪⑺夕引,素琴晨張。秋日蕭索,浮雲無光。郁青霞之奇意,入修夜之不暘⑻。
或有孤臣危涕,孽子墜心。遷客海上,流戍隴陰,此人但聞悲風汩⑼起,血下沾衿⑽。亦復含酸茹嘆,銷落湮沉。
若乃騎疊跡,車屯軌,黃塵匝地,歌吹四起。無不煙斷火絕閉骨泉里。
已矣哉!春草暮兮秋風驚,秋風罷兮春草生。綺羅畢兮池館盡,琴瑟滅兮丘壟平。自古皆有死,莫不飲恨而吞聲。


 

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劉小曼有陸小曼之才情。 -Yimusanfendi- 給 Yimusanfendi 發送悄悄話 Yimusanfendi 的博客首頁 Yimusanfendi 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (2 reads) 08/10/2016 postreply 23:05:49

多謝Yi詩人鼓勵~~,問好~ :) -小貝殼weed- 給 小貝殼weed 發送悄悄話 小貝殼weed 的博客首頁 小貝殼weed 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (0 reads) 08/11/2016 postreply 06:04:19

大讚才情!小曼都是才女!(不要花錢如流水就好,哈哈) -作業本- 給 作業本 發送悄悄話 作業本 的博客首頁 作業本 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (3 reads) 08/11/2016 postreply 00:07:00

多謝作業本詩人謬讚! :) I am broke, no money to spend. 哈哈哈~ -小貝殼weed- 給 小貝殼weed 發送悄悄話 小貝殼weed 的博客首頁 小貝殼weed 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (4 reads) 08/11/2016 postreply 06:05:53

才女! -北極湖- 給 北極湖 發送悄悄話 北極湖 的博客首頁 北極湖 的個人群組 (0 bytes) (0 reads) 08/12/2016 postreply 10:06:38

 

 


 


使君才氣卷波瀾。與把好詩再譯

發表評論 評論 (1 個評論)

回復 劉小曼 2016-8-14 01:43
這是我的翻譯和網友好評。我不認為自己譯得很好,但感謝各位網友的鼓勵。 這個ID長期騷擾我, 拿著他的爛譯文到幾十個大網站去撒, 吹自己天下第一, 並貶損各大名翻譯家。 有良知的人都看不慣這廝的做法。





The Ode To Resentment (translation)




Writer:  Jiangyan

Translator: Liu Xiaoman

Thousands of miles of prairies are under the autumn sky,
This is the remnant of the field for the ancients to fight.
Looking ahead, bones tangled with weeds can be seen,
And dark forests and dead woods are in the scene.
It seems so desolate, as if the spirits filled hell,
If not coming this far, you'd never known the good and evil.
Sorrows are everywhere and they hurt my painful heart,
What conjures up in my mind now is the dead afar.
Thinking of that, yonder, how many are holding grief,
bearing the pain until they die and still can't relieve?

Qin Shi Huang raised his sword toward the east,
But the troops of the nine alliances marched the west.
All the lords had fought endless for hundreds of years,
Driving the world to spin and the sun and moon have fears.
At last, Qin Shi Huang conquered the world,
Chopped all other civilizations into pieces with his sword.
Relying on the Mount Hua as the city wall,
and the bottomless deep moat to protect them all,
they had completed their great business----
calmed down the world, but hadn't changed their cruelties.
The regime was not stable, everything was changeable,
Thirty years of youth disappeared and not returnable.
Leaving only the loss and fears;soldiers guarding
the borders were dying, and their spirits toward west, flying.

After the King Zhao was captured, he left the vast territory
which had been guarded by his ancestors for almost a century.
Now he was riding the horse which was sadly wailing,
Followed by his men with tears, marching toward Fang Ling.
Whenever the sun set he recalled many things happened before,
But now all masonry and thrones in the palace were no more.
Recalling again and again, every time made him feel so hard,
Good bye luxury wagons and beautiful girls in his heart!
When he raised his cup, wanting to drown his sorrow,
All his sorrows and sadness poured out like waves and snow.
Alas! What a hateful thing: his ambition had been wasted,
and his young mind got old, leaving him feel frustrated!


A sad life he lived, although his fame was still there,
he held too much grudge that his fame could never compare.
Li Ling fought in deserts, marched to the north many miles,
but he still couldn't resist the cavalries of the barbarian tribes.
He bowed his head, his glory had become his infamy and shame,
All he had now was the bad memories and a bad name.
He pulled out his sword and hit the jade pole which was not real,
the unreal shadows, the ghost with grievance shivered in chill.
His heart was still with Han--staying in Yanmen, he had no choice.
How could the broken silk fabrics be used to express his voice?
"Let me go and die! In my next life I will pay back to you!"
Years later when the hazy sky was broken by the drops of dew.
His bad memories of life and death came back to him again,
if he could see his folks, what could he say beside the pain?

When Princess Ming was leaving, she heaved a sigh to the sky,
She sighed for her life, the cruelty she would face never be light.
The imperial wagons gradually disappeared in the hazy distance,
Thousands of miles away, how to fly back to see each other often?
In the long sky, when winds blew so high, the sun set to the horizon.
Geese in the Long areas flew south, leaving clouds alone.
At the moment, what could the Emperor back home think about?
The heavy sadness sent by the Barbarian Pipa was so loud!

Feng Yan was discharged from the army and went back home,
Ever since he refused to see any one, being so sad alone.
His wife and children remained all the same, nothing special,
But without a title, he was even belittled by a small official.
His big dream broke; he sighed in sorrow every day,
Talents were not used, his sad feelings could not go away.

Ji Kang drank alone at dusk, loneliness was his company,
He played the qin at dawn, he saw the sad autumn scenery.
As if in a trance, the Qinming sword rose high up into the air,
Reflecting the long dark night with its shine and flare.
The lonely old courtier once shed tears of regret and grievance,
His unfilial offspring would feel sad because of their ignorance.
The boundless waves might remind him of the life in exile.
The bad news hurt his heart which flew in winds for a long time,
Tears were hart to stop, and when they changed into blood,
How much bitterness could we taste when them came like flood?
We sought for the solemn tragedy of being defeated, but we failed,
We could not find the sadness by the yellowish dust trail.


Years had gone by, horseshoes had buried many a dynasty,
The wheel tracks turned into a silver river which was flowery.
Yellow smoke billowed; sad songs rose from souls' corner,
as time went by tears and blood disappeared in the desert.
Bones of the last horse whimpered into the cold spring,
Everything would be slowly going to reach an ending.
Seasons kept changing, time elapsed in winds and rain,
Grass kept growing, winds died down and picked up again.
Silk had lost their brilliance; red tiles had peeled off and
the harp strings broke; hills transformed into level lands.
Mountains and rivers remained unchanged;
Everyone must die, the natural rules never be changed!
But the country was no longer the same!
Seeing all these, who wouldn't sob for such a shame?

(The End)

Translator: 小貝殼

Writer: Jiang Yan (444-505) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiang_Yan

The Original Version 恨賦:

http://baike.baidu.com/view/30666.htm



作品原文

編輯

試望平原,蔓草縈⑴骨,拱木斂魂。人生到此,天道寧論?於是仆本恨人,心驚不已。直念古者,伏恨而死。

至如秦帝按劍,諸侯西馳。削平天下,同文共規,華山為城,紫淵為池。雄圖既溢,武力未畢。方架黿⑵鼉⑶以為梁,巡海右以送日。一旦魂斷,宮車晚出。

若乃趙王既虜,遷於房陵。薄暮心動,昧旦神興。別艷姬與美女,喪金輿及玉乘。置酒欲飲,悲來填膺。千秋萬歲,為怨難勝。

至如李君降北,名辱身冤。拔劍擊柱,弔影慚魂。情往上郡,心留雁門。裂帛系書,誓還漢恩。朝露溘⑷至,握手何言?

若夫明妃去時,仰天太息。紫台稍遠,關山無極。搖風忽起,白日西匿。隴雁少飛,代雲寡色。望君王兮何期?終蕪絕兮異域。

至乃敬通見抵,罷歸田裡。閉關卻掃,塞門不仕。左對孺人,顧弄稚子。脫略公卿,跌宕⑸文史。 齎⑹志沒地,長懷無已。

及夫中散下獄,神氣激揚。濁醪⑺夕引,素琴晨張。秋日蕭索,浮雲無光。郁青霞之奇意,入修夜之不暘⑻。

或有孤臣危涕,孽子墜心。遷客海上,流戍隴陰,此人但聞悲風汩⑼起,血下沾衿⑽。亦復含酸茹嘆,銷落湮沉。

若乃騎疊跡,車屯軌,黃塵匝地,歌吹四起。無不煙斷火絕,閉骨泉里。

已矣哉!春草暮兮秋風驚,秋風罷兮春草生。綺羅畢兮池館盡,琴瑟滅兮丘壟平。自古皆有死,莫不飲恨而吞聲。






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•  劉小曼有陸小曼之才情。 -Yimusanfendi-  ♂ 給 Yimusanfendi 發送悄悄話  Yimusanfendi 的博客首頁  Yimusanfendi 的個人群組  (0 bytes) (2 reads) 08/10/2016 postreply 23:05:49
•  多謝Yi詩人鼓勵~~,問好~ :) -小貝殼weed-  ♀ 給 小貝殼weed 發送悄悄話  小貝殼weed 的博客首頁  小貝殼weed 的個人群組  (0 bytes) (0 reads) 08/11/2016 postreply 06:04:19

•  大讚才情!小曼都是才女!(不要花錢如流水就好,哈哈) -作業本-  ♂ 給 作業本 發送悄悄話  作業本 的博客首頁  作業本 的個人群組  (0 bytes) (3 reads) 08/11/2016 postreply 00:07:00

•  多謝作業本詩人謬讚! :) I am broke, no money to spend. 哈哈哈~ -小貝殼weed-  ♀ 給 小貝殼weed 發送悄悄話  小貝殼weed 的博客首頁  小貝殼weed 的個人群組  (0 bytes) (4 reads) 08/11/2016 postreply 06:05:53

•  才女! -北極湖-  ♂ 給 北極湖 發送悄悄話  北極湖 的博客首頁  北極湖 的個人群組  (0 bytes) (0 reads) 08/12/2016 postreply 10:06:38

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