倍可親

與數學家約會 後果自負

作者:白露為霜  於 2015-2-15 01:04 發表於 最熱鬧的華人社交網路--貝殼村

作者分類:百味人生|通用分類:留學生活|已有54評論

關鍵詞:數學家, 約會

白露為霜注:湯雅·科凡諾娃(Tanya Khovanova)是一位來自俄國的女數學家,現在在MIT工作。如果你家裡有孩子是RSI(Research Science Institute)級別的書蟲,他多半知道Khovanova,因為她在RSI協調和指導學生的研究工作。科凡諾娃還是很罕見的女子奧數冠軍。1975、76年,她代表蘇聯隊出戰,獲得國際奧數銀牌和金牌各一枚(當年蘇聯是奧數的霸主,科凡諾娃的成績是全隊最高的)。當不做數學研究的時候,科凡諾娃還寫一個數學的博客。我常去她那裡瀏覽一下,不但是因為博客提供的獨特視角,也是喜歡她的文風。

假如你有機會,願意同數學家約會嗎?情人節到了,將科凡諾娃的一篇博文翻譯成中文。願天下所有的數學家都能找到愛他們的,他們也愛的人。情人節快樂!

 

 

你應該同數學家約會嗎?

湯雅·科凡諾娃 翻譯:白露為霜

 

格雷厄姆·馬斯特(Graham Masterton)的經典如何讓你的男人在床上狂野》(How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed)里有一章講解如何選擇一個戀人。它標出男人身上你需要謹慎對待的紅旗」(red flag)。他將這些潛在的不良苗頭列成很長的一個表,其中包括前一星期沒洗澡以及說話時只談他自己。

不好的特徵的列表還包括哪些職業要避免。你能猜出排在名單上的第一位的職業嗎? OK,我想你應該能夠猜出,因為是我在寫這件事。在書的第64頁赫然列出:

避免,作為群體,數學家......」(Avoid, on the whole, mathematicians…)

我算是不聽這一勸告的專家了:事實上,我已經同三個數學家結過婚,並同X個數學家約會過。這並不一定是因為我就這麼喜歡數學家,我只是沒遇上其他人。

當我還是一個學生時候,我有一個理論:數學家同物理學家是不同的。理論是基於我連續參加的兩個數學物理會議。第一個是針對數學的而第二個是物理的。第一個是非常安靜,而第二個則是豪飲和派對。所以我做出判斷,數學家內向而物理學家則外向。我敢肯定,我的第二任丈夫選擇了一個錯誤的專業,因為他喜歡喝酒和聚會。

到如今,很多年之後,我遇到了更多的數學家,而且我要告訴你,他們是多種多樣的。說數學家是一種類型是不準確和不公平的描述。我知道的一個數學家甚至成為色情電影的明星。我寫這篇文章是為了那些對同數學家約會感興趣的女孩。我不是在談論數學專業的學生,我說的是做嚴肅的研究工作的數學家。我的忠告是什麼呢?

我也有幾句提醒的話。但請保持在腦子裡,它們並不一定適用於所有的數學家。

第一,許多數學家,像我的第一任丈夫,都非常熱愛數學。我很佩服這種奉獻,但這意味著,他們計劃在星期六晚上做數學,寧願在自己的辦公桌上渡過假期。如果他們日程表裡每年只能安排一次音樂會,這對我來說是不夠的。當然,這一條適用於任何痴迷於他的工作的人。

第二,有些數學家認為他們非常聰明,比其他許多人更聰明。他們將自信從數學擴大到其他領域。他們以專家的姿態開始進入生物、政治、個人關係,等等,其實他們真的不知道自己在說啥。

第三,有些數學家只關注數學世界,以至於他們看不到周圍的一切。關於這類數學家有個笑話:

外向的數學家和內向的數學家的區別是什麼?外向的看著你的鞋子,而不是他自己的鞋」

的確,我遇到過很多這樣的數學家。你認為他們的妻子是在抱怨丈夫沒有注意到自己的新髮型?這種瑣碎的事情是不值得一提。他們的妻子抱怨的是自己的丈夫沒有注意到,家裡的傢具被拿去抵債了,或者,寵物貓已經死了,取而代之的是一條狗。我的第三任丈夫就是如此。在我們的婚姻的某個時期,我發現他根本不知道我的眼睛是啥顏色。他也不知道他自己的眼睛是啥顏色。他不是色盲,只是無動於衷。於是我請求他幫我做件事:在心裡記住我的眼睛的顏色,他做到了。我的朋友艾琳甚至提出為這樣的數學家的妻子們建立一個支持小組(support group)

當然你對這些特點需要注意,數學家還是有讓我喜歡的地方。許多數學家的確非常聰明。這意味著,與他們交談很有趣。另外,我喜歡能夠被某件事情所驅動的人,因為它顯示了激情的容量(capacity for passion)

數學家往往是公開和直接的。許多數學家,像我一樣,說假話說不來。就因為這個原因,我不玩Mafia了(白露為霜註:一種源於蘇聯時代的遊戲)。我更喜歡那些有話直說,不躲躲藏藏的人。

有一些數學家有一種無辜純潔的氣質,那讓我想起普希金的詩劇「莫扎特和薩列里」(Mozart and Salieri)中莫扎特的角色的話語天才和邪惡是不相容的兩件事,不是嗎? - 我覺得這可以延伸到數學家。許多數學家忙於探索數學的奧秘,他們對策劃和玩遊戲不感興趣。

 

年輕時的科凡諾娃 (照片來自她的博客)

 

 

Should You Date a Mathematician?

 

The book 「How to Drive Your Man Wildin Bed" by Graham Masterton has a chapter on how to choose a lover. It highlights red flags for men who need to be approached with caution. There is a whole list of potentially bad signs, including neglecting to shower in the previous week and talking only about himself.

The list of bad features also includes professions to avoid. Can you guess the first profession on the list? OK, I think you should be able to meta-guess given the fact that I am writing about it. Indeed, the list on page 64 starts:

「Avoid, on the whole, mathematicians…」

I am an expert on NOT avoiding mathematicians: in fact, I』ve married three of them and dated x number of them. That isn』t necessarily because I like mathematicians so much; I just do not meet anyone else.

When I was a student I had a theory that mathematicians are different from physicists. My theory was based on two conferences on mathematical physics I attended in a row. The first one was targeted for mathematicians and the second for physicists. The first one was very quiet, and the second one was all boozing and partying. So I decided that mathematicians are introverts and physicists are extroverts. I was sure then that my second husband chose a wrong field, because he liked booze and parties.

By now, years later, I』ve met many more mathematicians, and I have to tell you that they are varied. It is impossible and unfair to describe mathematicians as a type. One mathematician even became the star of an erotic movie. I write this essay for girls who are interested in dating mathematicians. I am not talking about math majors here, I am talking about mathematicians who do serious research. Do I have a word of advice?

 I do have several words of caution. While they don』t apply to all mathematicians, it』s worth keeping them in mind.

First, there are many mathematicians who, like my first husband, are very devoted to mathematics. I admire that devotion, but it means that they plan to do mathematics on Saturday nights and prefer to spend vacation at their desks. If they can only fit in one music concert per year, it is not enough for me. Of course, this applies to anyone who is obsessed by his work.

Second, there are mathematicians who believe that they are very smart. Smarter than many other people. They expand their credibility in math to other fields. They start going into biology, politics and relationships with the charisma of an expert, when in fact they do not have a clue what they are talking about.

Third, there are mathematicians who enjoy their math world so much that they do not see much else around them. The jokes are made about this type of mathematician:

「What is the difference between an extroverted mathematician and an introverted one? The extroverted one looks at your shoes, rather than at his own shoes.」

Yes, I have met a lot of mathematicians like that. Do you think that their wives complain that their husbands do not notice their new haircuts? No. Such triviality is not worth mentioning. Their wives complain that their husbands didn』t notice that the furniture was repossessed or that their old cat died and was replaced by a dog. My third husband was like that. At some point in my marriage I discovered that he didn』t know the color of my eyes. He didn』t know the color of his eyes either. He wasn』t color-blind: he was just indifferent. I asked him as a personal favor to learn the color of my eyes by heart and he did. My friend Irene even suggested creating a support group for the wives of such mathematicians.

While you need to watch out for those traits, there are also things I like about mathematicians. Many mathematicians are indeed very smart. That means it is interesting to talk to them. Also, I like when people are driven by something, for it shows a capacity for passion.

Mathematicians are often open and direct. Many mathematicians, like me, have trouble making false statements. I stopped playing —Mafia— because of that. I prefer people who say what they think and do not hold back.

There is a certain innocence among some mathematicians, and that reminds me of the words of the Mozart character in Pushkin』s poetic drama, Mozart and Salieri: —And genius and villainy are two things incompatible, aren』t they?— I feel this relates to mathematicians as well. Many mathematicians are so busy understanding mathematics, they are not interested in plotting and playing games.

 


高興

感動

同情

搞笑

難過

拍磚

支持
27

鮮花

剛表態過的朋友 (27 人)

發表評論 評論 (54 個評論)

回復 徐福男兒 2015-2-15 01:15
可以請陳景潤的老婆來談談體會。
回復 小雨點0514 2015-2-15 01:15
女人更愛數學家!簡單
回復 goodoctor 2015-2-15 01:26
不管什麼職業,如果分不清工作和生活,那麼不結婚會更好些。
回復 whyuask 2015-2-15 01:48
聽起來是否定的
回復 金竹陶器 2015-2-15 03:10
數學家也需要愛,作者就是~~~
她怎麼沒建議一下男人如何約會女數學家呢
回復 白露為霜 2015-2-15 03:13
金竹陶器: 數學家也需要愛,作者就是~~~
她怎麼沒建議一下男人如何約會女數學家呢
女數學家極其珍貴,多數嫁給男數學家了。
回復 白露為霜 2015-2-15 03:15
whyuask: 聽起來是否定的
對大多數人來說,答案是NO。只對非常少的人有吸引力。
回復 金竹陶器 2015-2-15 03:15
白露為霜: 女數學家極其珍貴,多數嫁給男數學家了。
珍品,作者有三任吶,幸福    
回復 白露為霜 2015-2-15 03:16
goodoctor: 不管什麼職業,如果分不清工作和生活,那麼不結婚會更好些。
其他專業的好像比較容易把工作和生活分開。數學家走到哪裡想到哪裡。
回復 whyuask 2015-2-15 03:16
白露為霜: 對大多數人來說,答案是NO。只對非常少的人有吸引力。
智商太高的人很難理解俗世的樂趣和情趣。
回復 白露為霜 2015-2-15 03:17
小雨點0514: 女人更愛數學家!簡單
哦。真的?
回復 白露為霜 2015-2-15 03:19
徐福男兒: 可以請陳景潤的老婆來談談體會。
陳的老婆應該是有體會的。至少在他心不在焉這方面。
回復 香瓜子 2015-2-15 03:34
天才的世界,不是天才的人是很難理解的。他們關注的事情,思維方式,不會被理解和接受。覺著他們的思維可能與研究的領域融為一體,也會帶到生活裡面。
回復 解濱 2015-2-15 03:41
俺倒是不計較娶個學數學的做妻子,前提是雙方要有感情。
回復 jc0473 2015-2-15 03:44
goodoctor: 不管什麼職業,如果分不清工作和生活,那麼不結婚會更好些。
同意這個觀點
回復 xqw63 2015-2-15 03:47
再嚴肅的群體,都有異類
回復 小雨點0514 2015-2-15 04:13
白露為霜: 哦。真的?
真的,我總是覺覺得搞科研都本份!
回復 Lawler 2015-2-15 04:17
一點也沒提到 「How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed」,倒好像在說 Mathematician Drives Your Lady Nuts!
回復 amassadinho 2015-2-15 04:26
為何不可?數學家也可以非常風趣的
回復 sissycampbell 2015-2-15 04:32
找一個工作狂,甚至沒有個人生活的人,無論男女都是一個不幸!
123下一頁

facelist doodle 塗鴉板

您需要登錄后才可以評論 登錄 | 註冊

關於本站 | 隱私權政策 | 免責條款 | 版權聲明 | 聯絡我們

Copyright © 2001-2013 海外華人中文門戶:倍可親 (http://big5.backchina.com) All Rights Reserved.

程序系統基於 Discuz! X3.1 商業版 優化 Discuz! © 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.

本站時間採用京港台時間 GMT+8, 2019-9-22 09:11

返回頂部