糾正「英語寫作絕對有用200句」中的錯誤（作者 TheYeti）

「英語寫作絕對有用200句」，又名「[thread=268322]漂亮英文是這樣寫成的--寫作必背200句對譯[/thread]」，是一篇廣為流傳，在許多中文的英語學習網站上都能看到的帖子。當然也曾經在倍可親英語園地版出現。前幾天我在雨巷看到「雪人」的批評文章，一讀之下，不禁冷汗：原來這個帖子里有那麼多錯誤啊！冷汗之餘，又有點慶幸，還好自己當時偷懶，沒認真讀，沒去背裡面的句子，否則真的會「大事不好」了。看來懶人有時會有懶福，讀書還是應該像陶淵明那樣，「不求甚解」才好。

但是心中還是有點不安。那麼多XDJM，不但讀了，還可能下工夫背了其中的句子。怎麼辦呢？除了道歉，再把「雪人」評論貼過來以外，Adelyn向各位保證，下次多多注意，在置頂之前，至少要把帖子讀完一半……

好，下面就來看看這些「漂亮英文」句子是否名實相副。

附：為方便閱讀，我在轉貼時對格式和表述做了一些改進。


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


為了方便大家辨別，我把「雪人」為這200句「流毒」英文的每一句所作的標籤，貼在這裡。這些標籤可以用來給這些句子分類，說明它們在「誤人子弟」上的不同程度。 這裡貼出來的是前50句的標籤。

OK  = considered acceptable. （可以接受）
B   = considered improvable or rewritable, such as being too verbose or containing redundancy. （因為啰嗦或者用詞不當，而需要改進或者重寫）
SG  = structual or grammatical mistake(s) contained.（包含結構或者語法方面的錯誤）
SGMM= minor mistake(s) contained. （有錯誤，但不如標有"SG"的句子那麼嚴重）

"[COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]"標籤用紅色表示， "[COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]"標籤用藍色表示， "[COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]"標籤用褐色表示， "OK"標籤不標色。

01. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]；    02. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    03. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]； 04. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    05. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]；
06. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    07. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    08. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]； 09. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   10. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]+[COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；
11. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    12. OK；   13. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   14. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    15. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；
16. OK；   17. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   18. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    19. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   20. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；
21. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   22. OK；   23. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    24. OK；   25. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]
26. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   27. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   28. OK；   29. OK；   30. OK；
31. OK；   32. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   33. OK；   34. [COLOR="Sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]； 35. OK
36. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]； 37. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]； 38. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]； 39. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]； 40. OK；
41. OK；   42. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    43. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   44. [COLOR="blue"]B[/COLOR]；    45. OK；
46. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   47. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；   48. OK；   49. OK；   50. [COLOR="red"]SG[/COLOR]；

作者：Yeti
來源：雨巷 (Treasure Island English Corner of Rainlane.com)


--  #1 to 10

Appended: After reading the first 50, it is obvious to me that these are not written by teachers or English experts specially for learning how to write, but rather, sentences pull from student essays, some of which have not been corrected.[/COLOR]

1. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
According to a recent survey, four million people die each year from diseases linked to smoking.
依照最近的一項調查，每年有4,000,000人死於與吸煙有關的疾病。
簡化 A recent survey indicates that four million people die from smoking related diseases annually.[/COLOR]


2. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
The latest surveys[/COLOR] show that quite a few children have unpleasant associations with homework.
最近的調查顯示相當多的孩子對家庭作業沒什麼好感。
簡化 The latest survey shows many children dislike their homework.
注意 I use the singular because "the latest"= 最近. So there can only be one.[/COLOR]


3. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]
No invention has received more praise and abuse than Internet[/COLOR].
沒有一項發明像網際網路一樣同時受到如此多的讚揚和批評。
修改 No invention has received more praise and abuse than the Internet. (Internet is referred to as "the Internet.")[/COLOR]


4. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
People seem to fail to take into account the fact[/COLOR] that education does not end with graduation.
人們似乎忽視了教育不應該隨著畢業而結束這一事實。
簡化 Delete "the fact". This is known as redundancy.
People seem to fail to take into account that education does not end with graduation.[/COLOR]


5. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
An increasing number of people are beginning to realize that education is not complete with[/COLOR] graduation.
越來越多的人開始意識到教育不能隨著畢業而結束。
修改 結束=end --> that education does not end with graduation.[/COLOR]


6. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
When it comes to education, the majority of people believe that education is a lifetime study[/COLOR].
說到教育，大部分人認為其是一個終生的學習。
簡化  When it comes to education, the majority of people believe that it is a lifelong process.[/COLOR]


7. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
Many experts point out that physical[/COLOR] exercise contributes directly to a person's physical fitness.
許多專家指出體育鍛煉直接有助於身體健康。
注意 The first "physical" is redundant. Unless otherwise stated, "exercises" means "physical exercise" by default.
簡化 Many experts point out that exercise and physical fitness are directly related.[/COLOR]


8. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]
Proper measures must be taken to limit the number of foreign tourists and the[/COLOR] (that[/COLOR]) great efforts should be made to protect local environment and history from the harmful effects of international tourism.
應該採取適當的措施限制外國旅遊者的數量，努力保護當地環境和歷史不受國際旅遊業的不利影響。
注意 "the" should be "that".[/COLOR]


9. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
An increasing number of experts believe that migrants will exert positive effects on construction of city[/COLOR] (a city/cities[/COLOR]). However, this opinion is now being questioned by more and more city residents, who complain that the migrants have brought many serious problems like[/COLOR] (such as[/COLOR]) crime and prostitution.
越來越多的專家相信移民對城市的建設起到積極作用。然而，越來越多的城市居民卻懷疑這種說法，他們抱怨民工給城市帶來了許多嚴重的問題，像犯罪和賣淫。
注意 migrant is not 移民. 移民 is an immigrant. A migrant worker is an "An itinerant worker who travels from one area to another in search of work."[/COLOR]


10. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]+[COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
Many city residents complain that it is[/COLOR] (there are)[/COLOR] so few buses  in their city that they have to spend much more time waiting for a bus, which is usually crowded with a large number of passengers.(definitely redundant.)
許多市民抱怨城市的公交車太少，以至於他們要花很長時間等一輛公交車，而車上可能(-->most probably, most likely, almost always inevitably)[/COLOR]已滿載乘客。
簡化  Many city residents complain that there are (few buses / way too few / far from enough) buses in their city that they have to spend a long time waiting for one that is most probably already full.[/COLOR]


未完待續 To be continued...

--  作者：Yeti

--  #11 to 20

11. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
There is no denying the fact that air pollution is an extremely serious problem: the city authorities should take strong measures to deal with it.
無可否認，空氣污染是一個極其嚴重的問題：城市當局應該採取有力措施來解決它。
簡化 Undeniably, air pollution is an extremely serious problem, and city authorities should take strong measures to deal with it.[/COLOR]


12. OK
An investigation shows that female workers tend to have a favorable attitude toward retirement.
一項調查顯示婦女歡迎退休。


13. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
A proper[/COLOR] part-time job does[/COLOR] (would[/COLOR]) not occupy students' too much time[/COLOR] (too much of a student's time[/COLOR]). In fact, it is unhealthy for them to spend all of time[/COLOR] (all the time[/COLOR]) on their study. As an old saying goes: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
一份適當的業餘工作並不會佔用學生太多的時間，事實上，把全部的時間都用到學習上並不健康，正如那句老話：只工作，不玩耍，聰明的孩子會變傻。
修改 A suitable part-time job would not occupy too much of a student's time. Indeed, it is unhealthy for them to spend all their time on studying. As the old saying goes:"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." [/COLOR]


14. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
Any government, which is blind to this point, may pay a heavy price.
任何政府忽視這一點都將付出巨大的代價。
簡化 "which is" is redundant; "point" may be redundant depending on context: Any government blind to this may pay a heavy price.[/COLOR]


15. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
Nowadays, many students always go into raptures at the mere mention of the coming life of high school or college they will begin. Unfortunately, for most young people, it is not pleasant experience on their first day on campus.[/COLOR]
當前，一提到即將開始的學校生活，許多學生都會興高采烈。然而，對多數年輕人來說，校園剛開始的日子並不是什麼愉快的經歷。
改寫 needed Nowadays, merely mentioning the upcoming campus life they will soon experience in high schools or colleges, many students will become euphoric. Unfortunately, the experience of their first days on campus is not always pleasant.[/COLOR]


16. OK
In view of the seriousness of this problem, effective measures should be taken before things get worse.
考慮到問題的嚴重性，在事態進一步惡化之前，必須採取有效的措施。
Looks fine.[/COLOR]


17. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
The majority of students believe that part-time job[U]s[/U] (or a part time job)[/COLOR] will provide them with more opportunities to develop their interpersonal skills, which may put them in a favorable position in the future job markets.
大部分學生相信業餘工作會使他們有更多機會發展人際交往能力，而這對他們未來找工作是非常有好處的。


18. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
It is indisputable that there are millions of people who still have a miserable life and have to face the dangers of starvation and exposure.[/COLOR]
無可爭辯，現在有成千上萬的人仍過著挨餓受凍的痛苦生活。
簡化 Indubitably, millions of people are still living miserably lives and having to face the perils of starvation and exposure.[/COLOR]


19. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
Although this view is wildly held, this[/COLOR] (there[/COLOR]) is little evidence that education can be obtained at any age and at any place.
儘管這一觀點被廣泛接受，很少有證據表明教育能夠在任何地點、任何年齡進行。


20. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
No one can deny the fact[/COLOR] that a person's education is the most important aspect of his life.
修改 delete "the fact". It is redundant.
簡化 No one can deny that a person's education is the most important aspect of his life.[/COLOR]
沒有人能否認：教育是人生最重要的一方面。


未完待續 To be continued...

--  作者：Yeti

--  #21 to 30

21. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
People equate success in life with the ability of operating computer[/COLOR] (operating a computer/operating computers).[/COLOR]
注意 This is a frequently made mistake found on many student essays.[/COLOR]
人們把會使用計算機與人生成功相（題並論[/COLOR]）。


22. OK
In the last decades, advances in medical technology have made it possible for people to live longer than in the past.
在過去的幾十年，先進的醫療技術已經使得人們比過去活的時間更長成為可能。


23. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
In fact, we have to admit the fact[/COLOR] that the quality of life is as important as life itself.
事實上，我們必須承認生命的質量和生命本身一樣重要。
注意 "The fact" is one of the most often quoted "redundancies" in grammar and  manuals.[/COLOR]


24. OK
We should spare no effort to beautify our environment.
我們應該不遺餘力地美化我們的環境。  


25. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
People believe that computer skills will enhance their job opportunities or promotion opportunities[/COLOR].
簡化 ...enhance their job or promotion opportunities.[/COLOR]
人們相信擁有計算機技術可以獲得更多工作或提升的機會。


26. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
The information I've collected over [the][/COLOR] last few years leads me to believe that this knowledge may be less useful than [what][/COLOR] most people think.
修改 missing "the" and "what".[/COLOR]
從這幾年我搜集的信息來看，這些知識並沒有人們想象的那麼有用。


27. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
Now, it is generally accepted that no college or university can educate[/COLOR] its students by the time they graduation[/COLOR].
改寫 Nowadays, it is (generally) accepted that no college or university can teach its students everything by the time they graduate.[/COLOR]
現在，人們普遍認為沒有一所大學能夠在畢業時候教給學生所有的知識。


28. OK
This is a matter of life and death--a matter no country can afford to ignore.
注意 depending on context, it can be "life and death" or "life or death".[/COLOR]
這是一個關係到生死的問題，任何國家都不能忽視。


29. OK
For my part, I agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons:
我同意後者，有如下理由：


30. OK
Before giving my opinion, I think it is important to look at the arguments on both sides.
在給出我的觀點之前，我想看看雙方的觀點是重要的。


未完待續 To be continued...

--  作者：Yeti

--  #31 to 40

(Please note that these 200 sentences also appear under the heading of [U]英語寫作必背200句[/U]. Before you go about committing anything to memory, make sure you check them out thoroughly for mistakes first.)[/COLOR]

31. OK
This view is now being questioned by more and more people.
這一觀點正受到越來越多人的質疑。


32. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
Although many people claim that, along with the rapidly[/COLOR] (rapid)[/COLOR] economic development, the number of people who use bicycle are decreasing and bicycle is bound to die out. The information I've collected over the recent years leads me to believe that bicycle[/COLOR] (bicycles/the bicycle)[/COLOR] will continue to play extremely important roles in modern society.
儘管許多人認為隨著經濟的高速發展，用自行車的人數會減少，自行車可能會消亡，然而，這幾年我收集的一些信息讓我相信自行車仍然會繼續在現代社會發揮極其重要的作用。
簡化 the first sentence.  Although many people claim that due to the rapid economic development, bicycle uses are decreasing and will inevitably die out.[/COLOR]


33. OK
Environmental experts point out that increasing pollution not only causes serious problems such as global warming but also could threaten to end human life on our planet.
環境學家指出：持續增加的污染不僅會導致像全球變暖這樣嚴重的問題，而且還將威脅到人類在這個星球的生存。


34. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]
In view of such serious situation, environmental tools of transportation like bicycle[s][/COLOR] are more important than [any time / ever][/COLOR] before.
考慮到這些嚴重的狀況，我們比以往任何時候更需要像自行車這樣的環保型交通工具。


35. OK
Using bicycle contributes greatly to people's physical fitness as well as easing traffic jams.
使用自行車有助於人們的身體健康，並極大地緩解了交通阻塞。


36. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]
Despite many obvious advantages of [the][/COLOR] bicycle, it is not without its problem.  OK[/COLOR]
儘管自行車有許多明顯的優點，但是它也存在它的問題。


37. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]
Bicycle[s][/COLOR] can't be compared with other means of transportation like car[s][/COLOR] and train[s][/COLOR] for speed and comfort. (Or The bicycle...the car and the train…)[/COLOR]
在速度和舒適度方面，自行車是無法和汽車、火車這樣的交通工具相比的。


38. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]
From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that advantages of [the][/COLOR] bicycle far outweigh its disadvantages and it will still play essential roles in modern society.
通過以上討論，我們可以得出結論：自行車的優點遠大於缺點，並且在現代社會它仍將發揮重要作用。


39. [COLOR="sienna"]SGMM[/COLOR]
There is a general discussion these days over education in many colleges and institutes. One of the questions under debate is whether education is a lifetime study[/COLOR] (lifelong process[/COLOR]).
注意 參見第6句。[/COLOR]
當前在高校和研究機構對教育存在著大量爭論，其中一個問題就是教育是否是個終身學習的過程。


40. OK
This issue has caused wide public concern.
這個問題已經引起了廣泛關注。


未完待續 To be continued...

--  作者：Yeti

--  #41 to 44 (incomplete)

40. OK
This issue has caused wide public concern.
這個問題已經引起了廣泛關注。


41. OK
It must be noted that learning must be done by a person himself.
必須指出學習只能靠自己。


42. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
A large number of people tend to live under the illusion that they had completed their education when they finished their schooling. Obviously, they seem to fail to take into account the basic fact that a person's education is a most important aspect of his life.[/COLOR]
許多人存在這樣的誤解，認為離開學校就意味著結束了他們的教育。顯然，他們忽視了教育是人生重要部分這一基本事實。
OK, but definitely wordy. Many of the words are nothing but "fillers". E.g. large number=many,  and seem, basic fact etc can all be eliminated.
簡化: Many people are under the impression that finishing school means the end of their education. Obviously they have failed to realize that education is an important and integrated part of life.[/COLOR]


43. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
As for me, I'm in favor of the opinion that education is not complete with graduation,[/COLOR] (incorrect comma split)[/COLOR] for the following reasons:
修改 education is not complete on graduation for the following reasons:[/COLOR]
就我而言，我同意教育不應該隨著畢業而結束的觀點，有以下原因：


44. [COLOR="Blue"]B[/COLOR]
It is commonly[/COLOR] accepted that no college or university can educate its students by the time they graduate.
人們普遍認為高校是不可能在畢業的時候教會他們的學生所有知識的。
修改 It is generally accepted that no college or university can teach their students everything by the time they graduate.
注意 This is a duplicate of #27 （與第27句重複）[/COLOR]


45. OK
Even the best possible graduate needs to continue learning before she or he becomes an educated person.
即使最優秀的畢業生，要想成為一個博學的人也要不斷地學習。


46. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
It is commonly thought[/COLOR] that our society had[/COLOR] (had/has been)[/COLOR] dramatically changed by modern science and technology, and human had made extraordinary progress in knowledge and technology over the recent decades.  
had: I assume there is a reason for the past perfect tense.
What exactly is "commonly thought" may I ask? 普遍 is not commonly. Same mistake as [I]common people[/I] when it should be ordinary people.
參見第44句。[/COLOR]
人們普遍認為我們的現代科技使我們的社會發生了巨大的變化，近幾十年人類在科技方面取得了驚人的進步。


47. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
Now people in growing numbers are beginning to believe that learning new skills and  knowledge[/COLOR] contribute[s][/COLOR] directly to enhancing their job opportunities or promotion opportunities.
修改 leaning new skills and acqiring new knowliedge contribute directly to...[/COLOR]
現在越來越多的人開始相信學習新的技術和知識能直接幫助他們獲得工作就會或提升的機會。


48. OK
An investigation shows that many older people express a strong desire to continue studying in university or college.
一項調查顯示許多老人都有到大學繼續學習的願望。


49. OK
For the majority of people, reading or learning a new skill has become the focus of their lives and the source of their happiness and contentment after their retirement.
對大多數人來講，退休以後，閱讀或學習一項新技術已成為他們生活的中心和快樂的來源。


50. [COLOR="Red"]SG[/COLOR]
For people who want to adopt a healthy and meaningful life , it is important to find time to learn acquire certain new knowledge. Just as an old saying goes: "it is never too late[/COLOR] to learn."
修改 "it is never too old to learn."[/COLOR]
對於那些想過上健康而有意義的生活的人們來說，找時間學習一些新知識是很重要的，正如那句老話：活到老，學到老。

--  作者：Yeti

--  51 to 60

51. There is a general[/COLOR] debate on the[/COLOR] campus today over the phenomenon of college or high school students' doing a part-time job.
對於大學或高中生打工這一現象，校園裡進行著廣泛的爭論。
廣泛的爭論 is not "general debate"
"on the campus"--> on campus
改寫: The question of high school or college students taking part-time jobs is widely debated on campus.[/COLOR]


52. By taking a major-related part-job[/COLOR], students can not only improve their academic studies, but gain much experience, experience[/COLOR] they will never be able to get from the textbooks.
通過做一份和專業相關的工作，學生不僅能夠提高他們的專業能力，而且能獲得從課本上得不到的經驗。
句子很累贅，可以簡化。
改寫: By taking part-time jobs related to their majors, students can, in addition to improving their studies, gain experience that are unavailable from their textbooks.[/COLOR]


53. Although people's lives have been dramatically changed over the last decades, it must be admitted that,[/COLOR] shortage of funds is still the one of the biggest questions that students nowadays[/COLOR] have to face because that[/COLOR] tuition fees and prices of books are soaring by the day.
近幾十年，儘管人們的生活有了驚人的改變，但必須承認，由於學費和書費日益飛漲，資金短缺仍然是學生們面臨的最大問題之一。
注意
(1) "it must be admitted that," is redundant and it is incorrect to use comma to split the sentence.
(2) remove "that" from "...because that tuition fees...".
(3) "nowadays" is already covered by "is still".
句子可以簡化。
改寫 The dramatic change in people's lives over the last few decades has not changed the problem of student's lack of funds for paying for the soaring tuition fees and price of books.[/COLOR]


54. Consequently, the extra[/COLOR] money obtained from part-time jobs will strongly support students to continue to their study life[/COLOR].
因此，業餘工作掙來的錢將強有力地支持學生們繼續他們的求學生活。
注意
(1) "extra money" is incomplete: to what the money is extra?
(2) "to continue to their study life" --> to continue with their studies
改寫 Consequently the money earned from a part-time job will take care of the student's expenses needed to continue with his studies.[/COLOR]


55. From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw a conclusion[/COLOR] that part-time job can produce a far-reaching impact on students and they should be encouraged to take part-time job, which[/COLOR] will benefit students and their family, even the[/COLOR] society as a whole.
通過上面的討論，我們不難得出結論：業餘工作對學生們會產生深遠的影響，我們應鼓勵學生從事業餘工作，這將有利於學生和他們的家庭，甚至整個社會。
改寫 From what has been discussed above, we may safely conclude that part-time jobs can produce a far-reaching impact on students and they should be encouraged to take part-time jobs that will benefit themselves and their family, even society as a whole.[/COLOR]


56. These days, people in growing numbers are beginning to complain that work is more stressful and less leisurely than in past[/COLOR]. Many experts point out that, along with the development of modern society, it is an inevitable result and there is no way to avoid it.
現在，越來越多的人們開始抱怨工作比以前更有壓力。許多專家指出這是現代社會發展必然的結果，無法避免。
修改 "than in past" should be "than in the past".[/COLOR]


57. It is widely acknowledged that [the][/COLOR] computer and other machines have become an indispensable part of our society, which[/COLOR] make our life and work more comfortable and less laborious.
人們普遍認為計算機和其他機器已經成為我們社會必不可少的一部分。 它們使我們的生活更舒適，減少了大量勞動。
注意
(1) The missing article "the" has been added to the sentence (in bold-face).
(2) In the sentence, "which" does not refer to the intended subject "computers and machines" but to "society" (the word immediately proceeding "which").
改寫 It is widely acknowledged that the computer and other machines have become an indispensable part of our society, and they make our life and work more comfortable and less laborious.[/COLOR]


58. At the same time, along with the benefits of such machines, employees must study knowledge[/COLOR] involved in such machines so that they are able to control them.
同時，隨著這些機器帶給我們的好處，員工們也必須要學習與之相關的知識以便使用它們。
"study knowledge" makes it apparent that the sentence is written by a student.
改寫 To reap maximum benefit from these machines, employees must learn how to make the best use of them.[/COLOR]


59. No one can deny the basic fact that it is impossible for average workers to master those high-technology skills easily. OK[/COLOR]
沒有人能否認這一基本事實：對於一般工人來講，輕鬆掌握這些技術是不可能的。


60. In the second place, there seem to be too many people without jobs and not enough job positions.
第二方面，失業的人似乎太多而又沒有足夠的工作崗位。
注意 "In the second place" is not concise. It can be replaced with "Second" or "Secondly" depending on context.
改寫 Secondly/Second there seems to be too many unemployed and too few job openings.[/COLOR]


未完待續 To be continued...

--  作者：Yeti

--  #61 to 70

61. Millions of people have to spend more time and energy on studying new skills and technology so that they can keep a favorable position in job market[/COLOR].
成千上萬的人們不得不花費更多的精力和時間學習新的技術和知識，使得他們在就業市場能保持優勢。
修改 "keep a favorable position in job market"--> keep their edge in the job market[/COLOR]


62. According to a recent survey, a growing number of people express a strong desire to take another job[/COLOR] or spend more time on their jobs in order to get more money to support their family[/COLOR].
根據最近的一項調查，越來越多的人表達了想從事另外的工作或加班以賺取更多的錢來補貼家用的強烈願望。
修改 (1) "take another job"--> change jobs;  (2) "their family"--> their families
改寫  A recent survey shows a growing number of people strongly desire to change jobs or spend extra time on their present jobs in order to earn more money to support their families.[/COLOR]


63. From what has been discussed above, I am fully convinced that the leisure life- is undergoing a decline with the progress of modern society, it is not necessary[/COLOR] a bad thing.
通過以上討論，我完全相信，隨著現代社會的進步，幽閑的生活方式正在消失並不是件壞事。
修改
(1) "not necessary a bad thing"--> not necessarily a bad thing
(2) "...society, it is not..." where the "comma" leads to run-on sentences (不間斷句子). For grammatical correctness, a conjunction "and" is required (click here to read more on this on Floors 2 and 3 of the linked Web page).
句子很累贅, 可以簡化。
改寫 From the discussion above, I am fully convinced that the leisure life is in decline as modern society evolves, and that is not necessarily a bad thing.[/COLOR]


64. The problem of international tourism has caused wide public concern over the recent years[/COLOR].
近些年，國際旅遊的問題引起了廣泛關注。
修改 "over the recent years" is misplaced. It is not "concern over the recent years". It is the "problem" that has caused concern.  
改寫 In recent years, the problem of international tourism has cause wide public concern.[/COLOR]


65. Many people believe that international tourism produces positive effects on economic growth and local governments should be encouraged to promote international tourism[/COLOR].
許多人認為國際旅遊對經濟發展有積極作用，應鼓勵地方政府發展國際旅遊。
修改 "...to promote international tourism"--> ...to promote it. here "it" refers to "international tourism" which has already been mentioned.[/COLOR]


66. But what these people fail to see is that international tourism may bring about a disastrous impact on our environment and local history. OK[/COLOR]
但是這些人忽視了國際旅遊可能會給當地環境和歷史造成的災難性的影響。


67. As for me, I'm firmly convinced that the number of foreign tourists should be limited,[/COLOR] for the following reasons:
就我而言，我堅定地認為國外旅遊者的數量應得到限制，理由如下：
修改  There is no pause at the comma as marked. It is an incorrect comma split and should be removed.[/COLOR]


68. In addition, in order to attract tourists, a lot of artificial facilities[/COLOR] have been built, which have[/COLOR] certain unfavourable[/COLOR] effects on the environment.
另外，為了吸引旅遊者，大量人工設施被修建，這對環境是不利的。
修改
(1) What is "artificial facilities"?  (大量人工設施被修建: a lot of man-made scenes have been constructed?)
(2) ", which have..." --> ", which has..." (in this sentence, "which" refers to "a lot of artificial facilities have been built")
(3) "unfavourable effects on the environment"--> negative effects on the environment.[/COLOR]


69. For lack of distinct culture, some places will not attract tourists any more. Consequently, the fast rise in number of foreign tourists may eventually lead to the decline of local tourism.
由於缺乏獨特的文化，一些地方不再吸引旅遊者。因此，國外旅遊者數量的快速增加可能最終會導致當地旅遊業的衰敗。
修改 "For lack of distinct culture"--> Due to a lack of distinct culture.[/COLOR]

--  作者：Yeti

有些論壇上貼的「寫作經典200句背誦」有如此驚人之言「這200句是我們寫作教學組6年時間提舉出來的國外經典文章中的句子，是精華中的精華」。其實這200句內有許多低級錯誤 (e.g. graduate, not "graduation."), 哪能是"國外經典文章中的句子，是精華中的精華"！ [/COLOR]


--------------------------------------------------------


--  作者：Yeti

--  #71 to 80

(Since the Chinese text does not add anything extra to the English sentences, I will leave them out--unless there is a need to.)[/COLOR]


71. This phenomenon has caused wide public concern in many places of world. OK[/COLOR]


72. Many parents believe that additional educational activities enjoy obvious advantage. By extra studies, they maintain, their children are able to obtain many kinds of practical skills and useful knowledge, which will put them in a beneficial position in the future job markets when they grow up.
修改
By taking extra studies-->through extra studies
Please note that the pronoun "which" refers to the noun "knowledge." A non-ambiguous construction would be "...useful knowledge, and that will put them in a favourable position in the job market when they grow up.
注意 "Future" is redundant. "When they grow up" happens in the future.[/COLOR]


73. In the first place, extra studies bring about unhealthy impacts on [the][/COLOR] physical growth of children. Educational experts point out that , (no pause; take out this comma)[/COLOR] it is equally important to take (engage in) some sport activities instead of (equally important...as in) extra studies when (after) children have spent the whole day in a boring classroom.
注意 Use "after" since these extra activities are done after normal school hours.
This sentence is unclear. Is it more important or just as important?
改寫 In the first place, extra studies negatively impact the healthy physical growth of children.  Education experts point out that after spending the whole day in a boring classroom, children should engage in sports rather than extra studies. [/COLOR]


74. Children are undergoing fast physical development; lack of physical exercise may produce [a][/COLOR] disastrous influence on their later life.
改寫 Children are undergoing a period of rapid physical maturity. A lake of physical exercise would have a serious negative impact on their later lives.[/COLOR]


75. In the second place, from psychological aspect, the majority of [the][/COLOR] children seem to tend to have an unfavorable attitude toward additional educational activities.
改寫 In the second place, psychologically, the majority of the children seem incline to have an unfavourable attitude toward additional educational activities. [/COLOR]


76. It is hard to imagine a student[/COLOR] focusing their[/COLOR] energy on textbook while other children are playing.
修改: a student...his...textbook--> students...their...textbooks[/COLOR]


77. Moreover, children will have less time to play and communicate with their peers due to extra studies, (semi-colon, and not comma, needed for "consequently") consequently, it is difficult to develop and cultivate their character and interpersonal skills. They may become more solitary and [may][/COLOR] even suffer from certain mental illness.


78. From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that, although extra studies indeed enjoy many obvious advantages, its disadvantages shouldn't be ignored and far outweigh its advantages (wrong order). It is absurd to force children to take extra studies after school.
修改 its disadvantage far outweighs its advantages and should not be ignored.[/COLOR]


79. Any parents should place considerable emphasis on their children to keep the balance between play and study. As an old saying goes: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.  
注意 The part "as an old saying goes..." is an exact duplicate of #12, and is very typical of CET4/6 essay written by students. There is no way this set of 200 sentences are the creme de la creme of "essay from English speaking countries."[/COLOR]


80. There is a growing tendency for parents[/COLOR] these days to stay at home to look after their children, (need a comma here)[/COLOR] instead of returning to work earlier.

--  作者：Yeti

--  #81 to 90

(1)Recapitulation: Some BBSes posted these 200 sentences with the rider that they are 「英文黃金句型」,不僅「句型完美」,而且是「國外經典文章中的句子，是精華中的精華」，或者是「近百篇雅思優秀作文中摘錄下來並經反覆推敲提煉而成的」, when in fact, they are not. I do not know who started this. 我這貼子的原意是提醒大家不要盲目相信從網上下載的東西。網上英語學習資料有好的，但也有不好的、誤人子弟的。所以一定要有選擇，不可輕信。 These sentences are only good for beginners looking for any kind of inspiration, but should not be taken as 精華中的精華 or 完美句型 and committed to memory.

(2) Apparently the Chinese text was "translated" by someone after the fact. They are really irrelevent, and, to save space, will not be included. (There are literally several hundreds of this post all over Chinese "Learn English" BBSes. Some BBSes even have 4 or 5 of the same post.)[/COLOR]


81. Parents are firmly convinced that, to send their child to kindergartens or nursery schools will have an unfavorable influence on the growth of children.  
修改
incorrect comma split. remove the comma after "that"
convinced that, to send their child...--> convinced that sending their children...[/COLOR]


82. However, this idea is now being questioned by more and more experts, who point out that it is unhealthy for children who always stay with their parents at home.
修改 it is unhealthy for children to always stay…[/COLOR]


83. Although parent (a parent / parents)[/COLOR] would be able to devote much more time and energy to their children, it must be admitted that, parent has (a parent has / parents have)[/COLOR] less experience and knowledge about (on)[/COLOR] how to educate and supervise children,when compared with professional teachers working in kindergartens or nursery schools (too wordy!)[/COLOR].

By any standard, this is wordy! Let's try rewriting it.
Notice "much more time…" means "more than…(another time or person)--> more…than before." Teaching is a profession. Kindergarten or nursery school teachers are supposed to be professionals.
簡化 Although parents are able to devote much more time and energy for their children then before; they have less experience and knowledge on how to educate and supervise their children than kindergarten or nursery school teachers.[/COLOR]


84. From what has been discussed above, we may safely draw a conclusion that, although the parents' desire to look after children by themselves is understandable, its disadvantages far outweigh the advantages.
OK, but nominalization could be avoided by replacing "draw a conclusion" with "conclude".[/COLOR]


85. Parents should be encouraged to send their children to nursery schools, which (and that)[/COLOR] will bring about profound impacts (have a profound impact)[/COLOR] on children and families, and even the society as a whole.
注意 "Which" modifies "nursery school." use "and that" instead.[/COLOR]


86. Many leaders of government always go into raptures (?! My gosh! Do they go into climax as well?)-->(are always excited)[/COLOR] at the mere mention of artistic and cultural projects. They are forever talking about the nice parks, the smart sculptures in central city (What's a "central city"? My guess is "town center" or "center of the city")[/COLOR] and the art galleries with various valuable rarities (rare treasures)[/COLOR]. Nothing, they maintain, is more essential than such projects in the economic growth (=???)[/COLOR].


87. But is it really the case? The information I've collected over last few years leads me to believe that artistic and cultural projects may be less useful than many governments think. In fact, basic infrastructure projects are playing extremely important role and should be given priority. OK[/COLOR]


88. Those who are in favor of artistic and cultural projects advocate that cultural environment will attract more tourists, which will bring huge profits to local residents. Some people even equate the build (building)[/COLOR] of such projects with the improving of economic construction (economic expansion/development/growth)[/COLOR].


89. Unfortunately, there is very few evidence that big companies are willing to invest a (remove "a")[/COLOR] huge sums of money in a place without sufficient basic projects (the needed infrastructure) [/COLOR], such as supplies of electricity and water.


90. From what has been discussed above, it would be reasonable to believe that basic projects play far more important roles than artistic and cultural projects in people's life (lives)[/COLOR] and economic growth.

--  作者：Yeti

--  #91 to 100

This project turns out to take a lot more time than I expected, so I would only concentrate on the most obvious mistakes. Besides, not being an English expert, I would not be able to notice the more subtle mistakes.[/COLOR]


91. Those urban planners who are blind to this point will pay a heavy price, which they cannot afford it (one which cannot affort)[/COLOR].


92. There is a growing tendency these days for many people who live in rural areas to come into and work in city[s][/COLOR]. This problem has caused wide (widespread)[/COLOR] public concern in most cities all over the world.


93. An investigation shows that many emigrants (migrants)[/COLOR] think that working at city provide (working in cities provides)[/COLOR] them with not only a higher salary but also the opportunity of learning new skills.
注意 People who go from where they live to work somewhere else for non-permanent jobs, they are migrant worker. In the last two weeks, CBC aired a 4 hours program on China, and the word "migrant", not emigrant, was used.[/COLOR]


94. It must be noted that improvement in agriculture seems to not be able (wordy! change that to "unable")[/COLOR] to catch up with the increase in population of rural areas and there are millions of peasants who still live a miserable life and have to face the dangers of exposure and starvation.
Wordy.
改寫 It must be noted that agricultural improvement seems unable to keep pace with rural population increase. Millions of peasants still lives miserable lives facing possible exposure and starvation.[/COLOR]


95. Although rural emigrants contribute greatly to the economic growth of the cities, they may inevitably bring about many negative impacts (bring negative influence / have negative impacts)[/COLOR].
注意 In this case, since you are talking about "emigrating out of the rural area", "emigrant" is fine.[/COLOR]


96. Many sociologists point out that rural emigrants (see #95)[/COLOR] are putting pressure on population control and social order; that they are threatening to take already scarce city jobs; and that they have worsened traffic and public health problems.
OK. This one is not bad.[/COLOR]


97. (Very wordy. See 簡化 below.)[/COLOR] It is suggested that governments ought to make efforts to reduce the increasing gap between cities and countryside. They ought to set aside an appropriate fund (adequate funds)[/COLOR] for [the][/COLOR] improvement of the standard of peasants' lives (standard of living of peasants/farmers)[/COLOR]. They ought to invite some experts in (on)[/COLOR] agriculture to share their experiences, information and knowledge with peasants, which (="refers what?" change "which" to "and that")[/COLOR] will contribute directly to the economic growth of rural areas.
修改 Use "should" to replace "It is suggested...ought."
改寫 Governments should make efforts to reduce the widening disparity between cities and countryside. Funds should be set aside for raising the standard of living of farmers. Agricultural experts should be brought in to share their experience and know-how with peasants. These actions will promote economic growth of rural areas.[/COLOR]


98. In conclusion, we must take into account (consider/deal with)[/COLOR] this problem rationally and place more emphases on peasants' lives. Any government that is blind to this point will pay a heavy price.  
注意 Take into account = taking a certain fact or factor into consideration when dealing with a problem. E.g. We must take into account of the water shortage in this area when we deal with the problem of irrigation.[/COLOR]


99. Although many experts from universities and institutes (? What kind? Mental institutes? :-))[/COLOR] consistently maintain that it is an inevitable part of an independent life, parents in growing numbers are starting to realize that people, including teachers and experts in education, should pay considerable attention to this problem.
注意 Institutes: The "Chinese" attachment has this as 儘管來自高校和研究院
修改 Although many experts from post-secondary and post-graduate institutions consistently maintain...[/COLOR]


100. As for me, it is essential to know, at first (first and foremost)[/COLOR], what kind of problems young students possible would encounter on campus.
我認為，首先應看看學生們在校園可能遇到哪些問題。
注意 "At first" implies something to follow. E.g. At first, we thought it was a plane, but when it came closer, we realized it was superman.[/COLOR]

--  作者：hyde

呵呵，早期曾經看過這200個句子，曾經在一個網站轉載，後來仔細閱讀後，發現不是那回事。不知道當初，俺的帖子害了多少人，真是後悔！！




--  作者：Yeti

  Don't feel bad. Everyone has the urge to share  something they thought are good. In their excitment, they often forget to examine it carefully first.

  This 寫作必背200句 and its various cousins are so prevalent on Chinese "learn-English" BBSes that some of them have 6 to 10 of the same post. If you go to a big "Learn English sites" such as those Ielts site, Exam-oriented sites (with multi-boards devoting to different exams), or "resource and download based" sites and make a search with the 4 characters 200句, you will find these showing up on various boards in the same BBS, several times over a time span of about 2 years.

  Some people argue that for students who have no clue in how to write, or for those whose concern is only in passing the CET exams, these sentences are of value. Perhaps they are right. If these students are never to use English again, little harm is done. However, for those who want to learn to write well, these are not what they should follow as "models."

   On various BBSes one would find complaints about the poor state of English education in China. With such material floating around ubiguitously, and with some schools actually using them as teaching material,no wonder there is a problem. Fortunately, there are still lots of very good English teachers around in China who are doing an excellent job. I am sure they do not depend on materials such as these. But that also mean you would need the luck of the draw in ending up with a good teacher.

  My finger in the dyke is not going to turn back the floodtide of people continuing to learn from bad learning material: "collection of sentences" and "model essays" that have mistakes in them. There are good materials out there, but the very people they target: the beginners, are the very people who would not be able to tell the difference between the good and the bad.  

  I came across some "model essays" that are quite good. Some of the excellent ones are by a teacher at one of those Ielts preparation schools by the name of Patrick. His students said, "從美國回來的老師，很年輕。他以前上課時說過現在國內的範文裡面中式英語和劣質模板太多,如果去考試很多連6分都拿不到。這篇範文上周六晚上他就寫完發給我們了." I hope that did not get him into trouble with his colleagues. That statement is a bit of a sweeping generalization. There are some 國內的範文 that are not bad at all. (Yummy of Yummy English and Mr.Dings of dian-dian, for example.)

  Many of those "building block" English sentences suggested by tutorial schools run contrary to the writing  guide lines I learned in English Composition 101 over 40 years ago (closer to 45) when I was in first year university. However, given the fact that one has only 30 minutes to come up with an essay in those CET exams, one can understand why these prefabricated building blocks are so popular and necessary. In our Composition 101 exam, we were given 3 hours to write just one long and one short composition.

Ah, well, such is the evils of an exam-oriented education system. The department of education in China must decide what they want students to learn English for, and whether everyone should pass an English exit exam, and why, before they set about revamping their English teaching programs and exams. (Hey guys, I am available as a consultant. Hire me. I am cheap. I will work for free, provided the government pays my plane fares, five star hotel accomodation, some pocket money (a few thousand yuans per month would do nicely) and three sumptuous meals per day (farmed-shrimps, peking duck, roast goose,abalone, west-lake fish....)

finally, i finished this daunting task to post Yeti's article here. [:481:] just too much reformatting to be done!  [:455:]

uncle yeti stopped at #100 and didn't continue. he left #101-200 to volunteers. hope he will find time to pick it up later.[/COLOR] [:478:] at present, all i can do is wait! [:486:]

anyone would contribute? [:468:]

Hey, Yeti, you will make them losing their jobs.  stupid department of education.

怎麼沒有貼完？！

200句才貼了100呀.

ecore and 梅郎口紅,

uncle Yeti was the author. he stopped at #100 and said that he felt tired of doing it.

i hope he will come back and continue his wonderful work that helps clear hurdles in the way we learn english as a foreign language.

[COLOR="Navy"]在2006-7-12 6:35:49，Yeti給您發送的消息！  
消息標題：200 sentences
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some time ago you asked me to categorize the mistakes in the 200 sentences. Here are the first 50.[/COLOR]

哈！我都加上啦。見一至六樓。 [:473:] [:473:]

>> 91. Those urban planners who are blind to this point will pay a heavy price, which they cannot afford it (one which cannot affort).

My two-cents:
1) to the point = having precise or logical relevance to the matter at hand.
How can [I]be blind[/I] associate with [I]to this point[/I]? I would say [I]be blind at something[/I] or [I]be blind over something[/I], instead.
2) which they cannot afford it
[I]which[/I] is the object of [I]afford[/I], so [B][I]it[/I][/B] is a redundant object. Besides, if a price is not affordable, how can you pay it? I would say:
...will have to pay a heavy price that they cannot afford. (without the comma)

bxxx