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comments on 第十八拿手好戲：瘋狂演講專家真正超越自我.
below, i quoted each paragraph i commented on and put my comments behind a double arrow ">>". i greyed out my tentative versions of the same paragraphs of the speech. i used them just as "a bait" for better versions. your versions and comments are very welcome.[/FONT]
[quote=Li Yang]Well, I almost had a heart attack〖心臟病發作；心臟麻痹〗a few moments ago, when I was asked to speak in English. I guess I didn't have one, fortunately, because I am still standing here firmly on my feet〖仍好端端地站在這裡〗. [/quote]
>> Well, a few months ago, when I was asked to make a speech in English, I was shocked to feel like getting a stroke (heart attack). But I wasn't knocked down. Now, as you can see, I am standing here firmly on my feet and am ready to speak.[/COLOR]
>> as montrealer has commented, this sentence is flawed in logic, though grammatically perfect. Fortunately, the speaker has learned the skill of communications so he can convey his ideas to his audience. cheers![/FONT]
[quote=Li Yang]From childhood, I have been a poor student of foreign languages 從小我的外語就不好〗. Throughout my education〖學生時代〗, I have been exposed to〖接觸〗languages such as English, Spanish, and French, but I flunked all these classes. But through my experience in business at home and abroad〖國內外〗I have learned the most important language by meeting a wide range of people from different cultures. It's the language of human relationship that is based on trust, openness, and under standing〖這就是基於信任、開放和理解的人際關係的語言〗. This universal language〖這種世界性的語言〗has always brought people of different cultures close together〖將不同文化的人們緊密地結合在一起〗. And I believe it is through this language of human relationship that our company has grown into what it is today〖達到它今日的成長/發展到今日的規模〗. [/quote]
>> I have never been a good student of language learning since my childhood. In my school years, I was exposed to such great foreign languages as English, Spanish, and French, but I flunked all my language courses. Nevertheless, I have learned another language, a more common and basic one, that through business contacts at home and abroad, I have fortunately the chances to meet with a great many people from different cultures, from which I have learned the language for establishing human relationship. I have learned that trust, openness, and understanding are essential to all successful communications. This universal language of human relationship has always brought people from different cultures close together. It is also the same ability to communicate with people, or our customers, to be specific, that has helped keep our company growing. [/COLOR]
>> "student" has another meaning: one who studies, or an attentive and systematic observer. i would tentatively use "a student of English language learning".
>> "throughout my education" or "throughout my high school years" to be used with perfect tense.
>> "flunked all these classes". the speaker didn't mention "classes" before. suggest using "flunked all my language courses" instead.
>> "through my experience in business" or "through my business contacts". i think "contacts" is more relevant to language learning.
>> "the language of human relationship". i understand it as another way to say "skills to communicate".
>> in the last sentence, "through which my company has grown into what it is today" sounds a little bragging. the same words may be said slightly differently, for instance, "which has helped keep our company growing". the speaker is happy with the current condition and expects to achieve more.[/FONT]
[quote=Li Yang]I want to thank you for giving me an opportunity to speak to you. And next time, please ask me in advance to make a speech. (我要感謝大家給我一個機會向各位講話/和各位交流。不過，下一次請事先通知我一聲要作演講喔/下一次可別再給我來個突然襲擊喔！) [/quote]
>> I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak to you. Also, I want to ask you for a favor. Please inform me well in advance your intention to arrange any public speech for me. Guess what? I am worrying that I would get a real heart attack if I receive another short-notice for speech. [/COLOR]
>> "I want to thank you..." is used here to replace "I would like to thank you...". it seems a trendy use in america (i heard this all too often).
>> giving me an (or the) opportunity to do something
>> "please ask me in advance to make a speech" may be too compact. i guess the speaker really wanted to say "please ask me (well) in advance if you intend to arrange a public speech for me."[/FONT]
[quote=Li Yang]下面是一段非常實用的"表示謙虛"的開場白：
It is generally believed that Chinese are poor public speakers, especially when it comes to speaking in English, and fortunately or unfortunately, I am no exception to that rule.
一般人認為中國人是不擅長公眾演講，特別是要用英文來演說。不知是有幸還是不幸，對於這項通則我也不例外。 [/quote]
>> It is generally believed that Chinese are not good public speakers,[/COLOR]..., and fortunately or unfortunately, I am one here to exemplify this observation. [/COLOR]
>> "no exception to" is okay, but these are not rules but results of an observation.[/FONT] |
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