A Cry for Help

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all repaired their boats and left.  

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to persevere until the last possible moment.  

When the island was almost sinking, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No I can't..There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place for you here."

Love decided to ask Vanity, who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked for help, "Sadness let me go with you." "Oh...Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come Love, I will take you." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder her name.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Love, realizing how much he owed the elder, asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"

"It was Time", Knowledge answered.

"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

I've heard the saying, "The best gift parents can ever give to their children is to love each other."

I've had the pleasure of witnessing the truth of this statement for over 40 years. From as far back as I can remember my Mom and Dad were a team.  A great partnership.  They were more than just a partnership.  It was as if they were one person.

Sure, they argued, but there was never any doubt in our minds that any disagreements would be worked through and resolved.  Mom and Dad began their married life poor, but they worked hard and, over the years, built a very successful business.  They each had their strengths and weaknesses, but the way they worked together, you never saw the weaknesses, just the strengths.

Dad was the outgoing, more public person with whom people met and fell in love with right away.  Everyone knew Dad!  Then, when they got to meet Mom, they felt the exact same way about her as well. Mom, although not at all shy, was more comfortable being the person behind the scenes.  More detail oriented, she ran the books and, according to Dad, was the one who really made the business work.

The biggest lesson about love and marriage that my mom and dad taught us kids was how to talk "about" your spouse.  Have you ever heard husbands and wives, when speaking to others, make unkind remarks about their spouses?  It's one of those things people just seem to do.  Sure, they're "only kidding," or maybe they are not.  But words matter.  And words teach, whether positively or negatively.

You would never hear such a thing from my mom and dad.  Dad always speaks of Mom in the most complimentary, glowing terms.  As does she of him.

This lesson made such an impression on me.  I still remember when I was age 12 and we were getting carpet installed in our home.  The crew boss was one of those stereotypical beer guzzling, hard-living guys, who would have probably belonged to Ralph Kramden's Raccoon Lodge from the old Honeymooner's TV show.   For lunch, my folks bought pizza for the crew. Dad went to talk with the boss about the job.  I was around the corner listening.  

The boss said, "This is an expensive job.  Women will really spend your money, won't they?"  Dad responded, "Well, I'll tell you, when they were right there with you before you had any money, it's a pleasure to do anything for them you possibly can."

This wasn't the answer the carpet installer expected to hear.  He was looking for negative banter about wives which, to him, was natural.  He tried again: "But, gee, they'll really play off that and spend all they can, won't they?"  Dad replied, as I knew he would, "Hey, when they're the reason you're successful, you want them to do the things they enjoy. There's no greater pleasure."  Strike two.

The crew boss tried one more time, "And they'll take that as far as they can, huh?"  Dad responded, "She's the best thing that ever happened to me.  I'd do anything to make her happy."

I was trying not to laugh.  I knew he wanted Dad to give in just a little bit and say, "Yeah, I guess that's true."  But it wouldn't happen... not in a million years!

Finally, the installer gave up and went back to work, probably shaking his head in bewilderment.  Witnessing my dad in that moment taught me more about loving and respecting your wife than anything he could ever have told me about the subject.

Mom and Dad are now retired and enjoying their life together, just hanging out, reading, and visiting their children and grandchildren.  They recently celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary.  

They still hold hands, and they are more in love than ever.  Throughout the years, whenever Mom would remind me that I should be looking to get married, I'd say, "Ma, I have plenty of time."  She'd jokingly reply that I don't have "that" much time.  My Dad would then look at me in that wisdom-filled, city streets bred way of his and say, "Hey, you take all the time you need.  If you marry someone just half the woman your mother is, you'll have a great life."

I should only be so lucky.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue. . . .There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy. "Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."