What should mommy act after she has a second baby?

What should mommy actafter she has a second baby?

I am from Beijing. Now I am in Toronto. In 2001 my whole family immigrated to Canada. At that moment my daughter was 2 and half yrs. She was very talkative and she was taken care of by her grandmother. She started to talk very early, I think at 10 months. When she was 18 months old, she could recite over 20 pieces of Tang poems.  I was so happy for what she did.

But things changed after I came to Toronto, especially after I had my second baby.

I got my second pregnancy very soon, about one month after I came here. I didn』t plan to have it. But many friends suggested me to have it because they said sooner or later I would have another baby, the sooner, the better, especially when I was experiencing the beginning of Transition, what』s more, the space between my daughter and the baby is perfect. So I kept it. During my pregnancy, I went to school to study ESL, meanwhile my daughter took part in childcare run by the school. She was such a good girl that all the teachers liked her a lot. And she helped me a lot, sometimes she even bent down on my tummy to feel the baby kicking in my belly. I really wish my son came out soon in order to play with my daughter, because I felt my daughter was so lonely.

The first month after my son was born my daughter was so excited, I was so happy. Later on I found I ignore a problem. Because after I gave birth to my son, only my husband and I take care of them, I feel my time is so limited. My husband had to go to work. I breastfed my son ( named Jackie),  for almost 2 yrs. When Jackie was just born, my daughter, Jenny, was only 3 and half yrs old.  During that period, I had a lot to do such as feed Jackie, change diapers for Jackie, remember Jenny was 3 yrs old, she needed my attention as well. But at the moment I didn』t recognize that point, every time When Jenny asked me to help her do something, if I was busy with my son, I asked her to wait, later on I forgot to explain to her, with time going on, my daughter thought 「brother is always first, me always second.」, based on what my daughter told me one day, I knew I really hurt my daughter』s feeling intangibly. One day when my son was 18 months old, one day Jackie was doing some very close behavior to his daddy, my daughter said something like this, 「 No, Jackie, daddy is mine, mommy is yours. 「  then came over and hug her daddy, which indicated not letting Jackie close to her daddy. I was so shocked at that moment… after that I introspected how I could make my daughter think that way… and since that I always say and do something very carefully. I need to be fair to both of my children. By the way, my daughter now is very quiet, I don't know if my behaviour affected her personalities....if so, I feel very regretful.

Time flies like an arrow. Now most of the time they play with each other very nice. After that I try my best to adjust my daughter』s feeling. Now my daughter is a great helper. Explanation timely is so important, even if when they are children. Please be advised that you shouldn』t ignore your child if you meet in the same situation as I did.   

Hopefully my suggestion will help  those who are having or are going to have a second baby to handle this kind of situation.

Good luck to those who are having or are going to have a second baby!!