Comments on an Internet copy of "Business English 900"

[原創作品] Comments on an Internet copy of "Business English 900"

To see a complete copy of 商務英語900句, click here, or copy 1,[URL=http://edu.tom.com/1002/1103/20041026-27284.html
]copy 2[/URL],copy 3.

Although it is a handy book for use by business people, some translations appear to be inaccurate or awkward in wording. For example:

112. I』d like to buy an excursion pass instead.
我要買一張優待票代替。 ->我要改成買一張優待票。(Even a Laowai would be embarrassed for making a mistake like this!)

20. Excuse me. May I get by?
對不起，我可以上車？ ->讓個道好嗎？我想要過去。 get by: 通過,走過 The parade has got by. 遊行隊伍走過去了.

217. The demand for our products has kept rising.
正確的中文意思應該是: 對我們產品的需求一直在上升。
原來的譯文 "[來]要求定購我們產品的人越來越多" 好像隨意添加了一些東西; 如果譯成英文,就變成 More and more people are coming here to place orders for our products.

328. All right. I will send the information on a piecemeal basis as we acquire it.
好。我們收齊之後會立即寄給你。 ->好的,我會一邊收集一邊給你寄去。 原來的譯文完全錯了!
-on a piecemail basis: 一點一點地郵寄 (I will mail them to you piece by piece.)

(1) Inaccurate Translations
7. I haven』t nothing to declare. ->I have nothing to declare.
我沒申報的東西。

120. Excuse me. May I get by?
對不起，我可以上車嗎？ ->讓個道好嗎？我想要過去。

183. Would it be possible for me to have a closer look at your samples?
可以讓我參觀一下你們的產品陳列室嗎？->可以讓我更仔細地看一下你們的樣品嗎？(我可以參觀產品陳列室嗎? May I visit your showroom? 參觀 visit, 產品陳列室 showroom/exhibition room, have a closer look at 更仔細地看)

209. We had expected much lower prices.
我們希望報價再低一些。 ->你們的報價太高了。("had expected" indicating a subjunctive mood)

210. They are still lower than the quotations you can get elsewhere.
這些報價比其他任何地方都要低得多。 ->這些報價比其他任何地方都要低。 (恐怕不是"低得多"吧？)

211. I can show you other quotations that are lower than yours.
我可以把比貴公司報價低得多的價目表給你看看。 ->我可以把比貴公司報價更低的價目表給你看看。 (應該是"更低", 而不是"低得多")

213. I can assure you the prices we offer you are very favorable.
我敢保證我們向你提供的價格是合理的。 ->我敢保證我們向你提供的價格是非常優惠的。 (合理的 reasonable, 優惠的 favorable)

217. The demand for our products has kept rising.
要求定購我們產品的人越來越多。 (As our products are getting more popular, the number of orders has kept increasing.)
->對我們產品的需求一直在上升。

221. Please give us your proposal if you're ready for that.
如果你們願意做合資經營，請提出你的方案。->如果你們準備好要做了, 那就請提出方案來吧。 (需要參考上下文! 合資經營 joint-venture, ready for that 準備好要做了)

228. No wonder everyone speak highly of your commercial integrity.
難怪大家都極為推崇你們的商業信譽 -> 難怪大家都極為推崇你們的商業誠信。 (信譽 reputaton, 誠信 integrity)

328. All right. I will send the information on a piecemeal basis as we acquire it.
好。我們收齊之後會立即寄給你。 ->好的,我會一邊收集一邊給你寄去。

(2) Awkward Chinese (好像老外說的中文!)
12. I』d like to buy an excursion pass instead.
我要買一張優待票代替。 ->我要改成買一張優待票。

216. It's up to you to decide.
這主要取決於你。 ->這要由你來決定。

224. Don't you think we should add a sentence here like this?
難道你不覺得我們應該在這兒加上一句話？ ->我們是不是應該在這兒加上一句話呢？

277. Has your company done any research in this field?
請問貴公司對此範疇做了任何研究嗎？ ->...在此領域... (範疇 domain, "對此範疇" 不通.)

283. Would it be too much to ask you to respond to my question by tomorrow?
可以請你在明天以前回復嗎？ -> 我想請你在明天以前回復,不知是否合適？

(3) Errors in the original English

226. The loss for this reason should be charged by the side breaking the contract.
-> For this reason, the loss should be taken by the side breaking the contract.
造成的損失必須由毀約方承擔。->因此,這些損失必須由毀約方承擔。 (由...承擔 taken by sb.; for this reason 由於這個原因)

268. You can see for yourselves the damaged condition and the reason why they are unassailable.
->You can see for yourselves the condition of damage and the reason why they are unassailable.
你們可以親眼看到完好無損情況以及貨物無法銷售的原因。->你們可以親眼看到貨物的損壞情況,從而了解為甚麼這些貨物無法銷售。

thank u very much,Adelyn

u'v done a great job~

thank you!!
you are a good teacher!!
and i hope you can correct our mistakes as well as the "Business English 900"!!