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A Great System
(Humorous Story)
A reporter called on a cotton broker one Sunday morning. The man received him in his dressing-room, and after their business talk was over the wonders of the house were taken up. The broker boasted about his Raphaels and hardwood floors, his light plant and French furniture, his gold-plated plumbing and Gobelins, but he boasted above all about his travelling bathtub.
"It's onyx," he said, "a lovely golden shade, it runs by electricity, on tiny pneumatic tires, smooth and silent. Whenever I don't feel disposed to leave this room it comes in here to me filled, just as I like it, with genuine Atlantic Ocean, brought up from Coney Island and warmed to 80 degrees. It comes in any time I push this button."
" ush it now," said the reporter, curiously.
The button was pushed, the doors slid magically open, and the great onyx bath glided in stately silence into the room. But in it sat the millionaire's astonished wife.
浴缸里的精品
(幽默小品)
一個星期天的早上,一個記者去拜訪一位棉花經銷商,那商人在他的穿衣間里接見了他。正事談完后,他們就說起這商人豪宅里的新奇精品。這商人吹噓他擁有的拉斐爾名畫,他的櫟木地板,他的私人發電設備和法國傢具,他的鍍金水管和法國繡毯,而他吹得最起勁的就是他那個可走動的浴缸了。
「它是縞瑪瑙做的,是令人喜愛的金黃色。」他說,「裝在電動的充氣輪胎上,走起來平穩而毫無噪音;我不願離開這個房間的時候,它就能到這裡來將就我。而且還按照我的意願灌滿了從大西洋科尼島運來的水,水溫加熱到華氏八十度。只要我一按這個鍵鈕,它隨時就會來。」
「那你現在就按一下看看,」記者有點好奇。
這商人就按了一下鍵鈕,房門神奇地打開了,那個碩大的縞瑪瑙浴缸就雍容肅穆地滑進房間。但是浴缸裡面卻坐著正在沐浴的驚惶失措的富商太太。 |
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