Common Slang in UK

Aup used extensively in Derby England this term is the equivalent of, "Hello".
Big and Clever A phrase your old dear used to tell you when you were a kid if they caught you with fags. They would tell you it's not "big and clever" to smoke despite them both being chain smokers and smoking about 60 a day each.
Beef Bayonet A replacement phrase for the penis. Also see Spam Ram, Mutton Dagger, Pork Sword, One Eyed Picolo, Skin Flute and Heat Seeking Moisture Missile.
Beef Curtains the outer lips of the Vagina. Also see John Waynes saddle bags.and Piss Flaps.
Beer Glasses This is a term used to describe the effect that alcohol has on your vision. If you end up waking up next to a right rat shit bird the next morning after having a piss up down the boozer the night before, it's highly likely that you had a good set of beer glasses on when you picked her up.
Beer Goggles See Beer Glasses.
Bell Cheese is another term for Smegma. Also see Knob Cheese.
Bell End the end of the penis. Also see Helmet and Purple Headed Cavalier.
Big Girls Blouse a replacement word for girl, more acute than just plain "blouse", used in the context of, "He's not coming down the pub tonight because he's a Big Girls Blouse", see also Blouse and Big Girls Skipping Rope
Big Girls Skipping Rope a replacement word for girl, more acute than just plain "blouse", used in the context of, "He's not coming down the pub tonight because he's a Big Girls Skipping Rope". You can make it even more acute by quoting, "Big Girls Skipping Rope with Pink Handles". see also Blouse and Big Girls Blouse
Couldn't give a monkeys chuff The main context this phrase is used in would be something like, "I couldn't give a monkeys chuff whether your the Duke of Edinburgh you can fuck off" This is a basic statement of complacency i.e. you don't care. See also rats ass.
Cunt Carpet the pubic hair around the vagina. Also Twat Rug and Twat Mat.
Heat Seeking Moisture Missile A replacement phrase for the penis. Also see Spam Ram, Mutton Dagger, Beef Bayonet, One Eyed Picolo, Skin Flute and Pork Sword.
Hide the Sausage If you are playing "Hide the Sausage", you are having sex, another version is "Spear the bearded clam".
Jazz Bands Cockney rhyming slang for "Hands". Also see Three Card Trick.
John Waynes Saddle Bags the outer lips of the Vagina usually used to indicate rather large Piss Flaps.
'Kin Hard Short for Fucking Hard, people who say this are so hard they don't even pronounce the word fucking.
Knob Cheese literally means Smegma but this is often used as a derogatory term to indicate somebody is a Twat. Also see Bell Cheese.
Knob Head is a person who is a general Twat.
Knob Off A term used to mean, "go away".
Mutton Dagger A replacement phrase for the penis. Also see Spam Ram, Pork Sword, Beef Bayonet, One Eyed Picolo, Skin Flute and Heat Seeking Moisture Missile.
N.F.C. Common abreviation used in speach for "No Fucking chance". e.g You've got NFC of getting out of this mess.
Old Dear a term used to replace the word "mother". "Old lady" is a similar term, the father equivalent is "Old Man".
One Eyed Picolo A replacement phrase for the penis. Also see Spam Ram, Mutton Dagger, Beef Bayonet, Pork Sword, Skin Flute and Heat Seeking Moisture Missile.
Piss Flaps the outer lips of the Vagina. Also see John Waynes saddle bags.
Pork Sword A replacement phrase for the penis. Also see Spam Ram, Mutton Dagger, Beef Bayonet, One Eyed Picolo, Skin Flute and Heat Seeking Moisture Missile.
Purple Headed Cavalier the end of the penis. Also see Bell End and Helmet.
Plastic Pig A three wheeled car manufactured by Reliant in Birmingham. It's called a plastic pig because the body is made of fibreglass. They catch fire and burn very easily and also tip over on roundabouts pretty easily.
R.A.F. most people know this is the Royal Air Force. In pub terms this means you have a good set of beer glasses on and the bird you are chatting up isn't as good looking as what you think and she is actually a member of the R.A.F. i.e. Rough As Fuck.
Rat Arsed is the equivalent of being drunk. E.g."I was rat arsed", is the equivalnet of saying, "I was drunk". See also Ratted, Pissed
I Couldn't give a dead rats ass The main context this phrase is used in would be something like, "I couldn't give a dead rats ass whether your the Duke of Edinburgh you can fuck off" This is a basic statement of complacency i.e. you don't care. See also Monkeys Chuff.
Ring Me it doesn't mean insert something in to my bottom. It means give me a call on the telephone. Also see Bell, Dog, Trumpetand Trombone.
Sit Down Short for, "a sit down meal", usually associated with an Indian meal eaten after you've had a Skinfull of beer. This may then be followed by another skinfull at a night club and a Kebab on the way home or that might be the grand finale of the evening.
Skid Mark It's the brown mark left in the back of your grots when your pants rub on your ring.. A condition caused by not wiping properly after a Richard.
Spac Chariot A phrase used to describe a wheelchair or invalid carriage. Also see Spac
Skin Flute A replacement phrase for the penis. Also see Spam Ram, Mutton Dagger, Beef Bayonet, One Eyed Picolo, Pork Sword and Heat Seeking Moisture Missile.
Soggy Biscuit Soggy biscuit is a game played by boys in boarding school. A group of lads all sit around a biscuit and wank over it and the last person to Shoot their bolt on it has to eat it.
Spam Ram A replacement phrase for the penis. Also see Pork Sword, Mutton Dagger, Beef Bayonet, One Eyed Picolo, Skin Flute and Heat Seeking Moisture Missile.
Spear the bearded Clam If you are spearing the bearded clam, you are having sex, another version is "lay hide the sausage".
Three Card Trick Cockney rhyming slang for "Dick". e.g. "Get ya Jazz Bands round me Three card Trick". Also see Jazz Bands.
Tighter than a Camels Arse in a Sandstorm The main context this phrase is used in would be something like, "you wont get a pint of him coz he's tighter than a camels arse in a sand storm". Basically it states that the person in question isn't very generous. Also see Tighter than a Gnats Chuff
Tighter than a Gnats Chuff The main context this phrase is used in would be something like, "you wont get a pint of him coz he's tighter than a gnats chuff". Basically it states that the person in question isn't very generous. Also see Camels Arse in a sandstorm
Twat Mat the pubic hair around the vagina. Also see Twat Rug and Cunt Carpet.
Twat Rug the pubic hair around the vagina. Also see Twat Mat and Cunt Carpet.
Well 'Ard Short version of "Well Hard", it means that a person is very tough and strong and can probably drink a lot of beer without honking. Measures his drinking capability in gallons rather than pints.
Words:
Arseholed is the equivalent of being drunk. E.g."I was arseholed", is the equivalnet of saying, "I was drunk". See also Rat Arsed, Pissed
Bin is a receptacle for placing quid off the top, say nothing about it and stick it in your bin". Also see Sky
Bollocks a word literally meaning testicles but not often used for that purpose. Although you might here a phrase like, "The missus gave me a good kick in the bollocks for staying out all night". It's one of those universal words that can be used in many contexts, here are a few
1. In disbelief "What a load of bollocks"
2. In amazement "Well I'll be bollocksed"
3. In frustration "Ohhh bollocks to it"
4. Deep frustrastion "Double bollocks to it"
5. In threat "I'll bollocks you if your not careful"
6. In warning "Do that and you'll end up bollocksed"
7. In disagreement "Well bollocks to you then"
8. In complacency "I couldn't give a bollocks"
9. In anger "Bollocks ya twat!"
10. Describing something good "It's the dog bollocks"
11. Describing something bad "It's a load of old bollocks"
Bell used in place of the verb to call. E.g."Give me a bell", means, "give me a call on the telephone". Also see Dog, Trumpet and Trombone
Blouse a replacement word for girl, used in the context of, "He's not coming down the pub tonight because he's a blouse", see also Big Girls Blouse
Botham a slang word for a "funny fag", i.e. Marajuana, named because Ian Botham the famous English cricketer got caught smoking one.
Boozer an establishment for the sale and consumption of alcohol.
Chuff a replacement word for anus, see also Ringpiece
Crimble Christmas. Also see Crimblo
Crimbo Christmas. Also see Crimble
Crow Not a bird but a word to describe solid pieces of snot, also knows as a bogie
Dog cockney rhyming slang for Dog and Bone which means telephone. Also see Bell, Trumpet and Trombone
Durex Condom. Also see Nodder and Raincoat
Fags it doesn't meen gay it is a term used for cigarettes.
Gargle used in place of the verb "to drink", usually assocaited with the consumption of alcoholic beverages. E.g."Are you out for a gargle tonight".
Grots Underpants. Also see skids and underskids.
Helmet the end of the penis. Also see Bell End and Purple Headed Cavalier.
Honk the equivalent of to vomit.
Honking the act of vomiting comes from the verb to honk
Joint not a mind altering substance or a slang term for jail, a joint is a term used for someone's place of abode. E.g."my joint" is the same as "my house"
Legless is the equivalent of being drunk. E.g."I was legless", is the equivalnet of saying, "I was drunk". See also Rat Arsed, Pissed
Nodder Condom. Also see Durex
Pissed if you're a Yank then you may think this means "upset". This is incorrect, Pissed is the equivalent of being drunk. E.g."I was pissed", is the equivalnet of saying, "I was drunk". See also Rat Arsed, Ratted
Quid the unit of currency used in England. The current exchange rate currently being set at 1 pound sterling = 1 quid.
Raincoat Condom. Also see Nodder and Durex
Ratted is the equivalent of being drunk. E.g."I was ratted", is the equivalnet of saying, "I was drunk". See also Rat Arsed, Pissed
Ring a shortened version of Ringpiece, see also Chuff.
Ringpiece a replacement word for anus, see also Chuff
Rock Short for "Rock Hard" See the phrase "Well 'Ard".
Rubbish Unwanted waste. Yanks call it trash.
Scud The verb to hit or beat somebody up. E.g."You carry on acting like a prick and I'll scud you"
Scudded When somebody scuds you you end up getting scudded . e.g. "If you're not careful you'll get scudded"
Shite just another word used instead of shit.
Smegma Cheese that gathers around your Helmet Also see Knob Cheese
Skids Underpants. Also see grots and Underskids. The are called skids because they are normally full of skid marks.
Sky It's not that blue thing (or grey thing if you live England) where rain comes from. It's cockney rhyming slang for "Sky Rocket", which means pocket. See also Bin
Snatch literally a derogatory term to describe a womans pussy, but more than often used to denote women. E.g."The pub was filled with snatch", meaning there were alot of nice women down the pub. See also Tottie
Spac An abbreviation for SPAstiC
Sup the verb to drink usually associated with alcohol.
Swallow used in place of the verb "to drink", usually assocaited with the consumption of alcoholic beverages. E.g."Are you going for a swallow".
Swill used in place of the verb "to drink", usually assocaited with the consumption of alcoholic beverages. E.g."Are we going out for a good swill".
Swilling the adjective associated with the verb Swill e.g. "Let's go swilling", normally means lets go out and get Ratted.
Tosspot a worse form of Tosser
Tottie used to denote nice looking women. E.g."The pub was filled with tottie", meaning there were alot of nice women down the pub. See also Snatch
Trombone means telephone. Also see Bell, Dog and Trumpet. E.g."Get him on the trombone", means, "Get him on the phone", or "Trombone me", means "Give me a call on the telephone"
Trumpet means telephone. Also see Bell, Dog and Trombone. E.g."Get him on the trumpet", means, "Get him on the phone", or "Trumpet me", means "Give me a call on the telephone"
Twat Literally means a womens naughty parts but never used in that context it's used to describe a real idiot. E.g. don't talk like a twat, or stop acting like a twat.
Twatted see Scudded
Undergrots Underpants. Also see skids and grots.
Underskids Underpants. Also see skids and grots.
Wank Literally means to masturbate but never used in this context really. It's another one of those universal words that can be used in all kind of contexts see the word Bollocks.
Wanker The adjective to describe a person who wanks alot although it's a basic derogatory term to somebody who is a Twat
Yem A northern term that means home.

Where did you get these? I was trying to find some but failed .