又到深秋。
    每年此時，就會想起二十多年前的海子。要是活著，他今年該是45周歲的中年人了。實在沒法想像中年的海子該是個什麼樣子...... 。
    海子的詩里總有秋天的影子。秋，在詩人的異像中，是一個和春相對應的居所，是一間屋子。
    前年秋天去北京出差，兩次路過昌平。那裡大多發展得還不是那麼好，房屋矮小，道路不寬，有著北方村莊的模樣。北郊多果園，出產上品的北京果脯。從開闊處朝北望去，連綿的燕山余脈蜿蜒伸展在天際，長城就騎在這些山樑的脊上。
    從1984年的9月起到他自殺前不久，海子曾住在這裡的一所普通宿舍的三樓（昌平西環里15號樓5單元3樓302號）（余徐剛：《海子傳》）。他的許多作品是從這裡走出去的。
   海子死時隨身帶著四本書：《瓦爾登湖》(H.D. Thoreau)，《孤筏重洋》(Thor Heyerdanl)， 《康拉德小說選》和《聖經》，自然都是他最喜愛，抑或最想讀的書。這可以幫助理解這位純粹詩人的品格和他作品里的精華成分。
&#160;&#160; &#160;海子當然是在精神錯亂后自己放棄肉體生命的。也許他覺得那肉體拖得他太累；更有可能的是，他看到了天空中無疆的花園，那是他家的後花園，永遠地「面朝大海，春暖花開」，他只是想回家，而已。要說他理智而從容地放棄生命，多少有點牽強（余徐剛：《海子傳》）。但許多人，包括他的朋友們，都更願意粉飾他的自殺：「據說海子死得異常從容，他並沒有卧軌，而是當慢車開過身邊時，走到那些車輪中間去的。」（陳東東：<span -3="" ;="" color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt"="" style="font-size: 14pt; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); font-family: 華文黑體; font-size: 14px; ">《海子－詩歌烈士》）。<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Verdana; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">我只願他的詩魂像他自己說的那樣自由馳騁在無邊的黑夜裡：<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
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<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">放聲歌唱&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#8232;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;&#160; &#160; &#160;&#160;<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">《黑夜的獻詩》<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">1982. 2<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: LucidaGrande-Bold; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 14pt; font-family: Verdana; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">秋天紅色的膝蓋<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">跪在地上<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;&#160;&#160;<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">《秋天》<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">1984.11<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">秋天深了，王在寫詩<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">在這個世界秋天深了<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;&#160;&#160;<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">《秋》<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">1987.5<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">誰的聲音能抵達秋之子夜<span lang="EN-US" style="word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;&#160;長久宣響<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">掩蓋我們衡陳於地的骸骨<span lang="EN-US" style="word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">——<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">秋已來臨。<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">沒有絲毫的寬恕和溫情：秋已來臨<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;&#160;&#160;<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">《秋》<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">1987.8<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">秋日黃昏<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">火焰的頂端<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">落日的腳下<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;&#160;&#160;<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">《秋日黃昏》<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">1987,10<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">他稱我為青春的詩人愛與死的詩人<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">他要我在金角吹響的秋天走遍祖國和異邦<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">…<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">飛翔的祖國的群獅攜帶著我走遍聖火燎烈的城邦<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">如今是秋風陣陣吹在我暮色蒼茫的嘴唇上<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;&#160;&#160;<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">《秋天的祖國》<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">1988.2<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">在劈開了我的秋天<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">在劈開了我的骨頭的秋天<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">我愛你，花楸樹<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;&#160;&#160;<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">《幸福的一日<span lang="EN-US" style="word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">——致秋天的花楸樹》<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">1987<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">當我們住在秋天<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">大地上颳起了秋風<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">秋天的雨一陣又一陣<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">你坐在近處坐在遠方<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">…<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">那時我們多麼寂寞<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">多麼遙遠啊？<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">請把我埋入秋天以後的山谷<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">埋入與世隔絕的秋天<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;&#160;&#160;<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(0, 0, 243); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">《老人攔截少女<span lang="EN-US" style="word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">(2)&#160;》<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">&#160;<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: rgb(68, 68, 68); word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">人們把你放在村莊<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
<span style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">秋風吹拂的北方<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 華文黑體; color: black; word-wrap: break-word; word-break: break-all; ">
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