人狗之間

The way I see it dogs had this big meeting. Oh maybe 20,000 years ago. A huge meeting―an international convention with delegates from everywhere. And that』s when they decided that humans were the up and coming species and dogs were going to throw their lot in with them. The decision was obviously not unanimous. The wolves and dingoes walked out in protest.

　　Cats had an even more negative reaction. When they heard the news they called their own meeting―in Paris of course―to denounce canine subservience to the human hyperpower.Their manifesto―La Condition Féline―can still be found in provincial bookstores.

　　Cats, it must be said, have not done badly. Using guile and seduction they managed to get humans to feed them thus preserving their superciliousness without going hungry. A neat trick. Dogs being guileless signed and delivered. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

　　I must admit that I』ve been slow to warm to dogs.I grew up in a non-pet friendly home. Dogs do not figure prominently in Jewish immigrant households. My father was not very high on pets. He wasn』t hostile. He just saw them as superfluous an encumbrance. When the Cossacks are chasing you around Europe you need to travel light.This by the way is why Europe produced far more Jewish violinists than pianists. Try packing a piano.

　　My parents did allow a hint of zoological indulgence. I had a pet turtle. My brother had a parakeet. Both came to unfortunate ends. My turtle fell behind a radiator and was not discovered until too late. And the parakeet God bless him flew out a window once never to be seen again. After such displays of stewardship we dared not ask for a dog.

　　My introduction to the wonder of dogs came from my wife Robyn. She』s Australian. And Australia as lovingly recounted in Bill Bryson』s In a Sunburned Country has the craziest wildest deadliest meanest animals on the planet. In a place where every spider and squid can take you down faster than a sucker punched boxer you cherish niceness in the animal kingdom. And they don』t come nicer than dogs.

　　Robyn started us off slowly. She got us a Border collie Hugo when our son was about 6. She knew that would appeal to me because the Border collie is the smartest species on the planet. Hugo could 1 play outfield in our backyard baseball games 2 do flawless front door sentry duty and 3 play psychic weatherman announcing with a wail every coming thunderstorm.

　　When our son Daniel turned 10 he wanted a dog of his own. I was against it using arguments borrowed from seminars on nuclear nonproliferation. It was hopeless. One giant 「Please Dad」 and I caved completely. Robyn went out to Winchester Virginia found a litter of black Labs and brought home Chester.

　　Chester is what psychiatrists mean when they talk about unconditional love. Unbridled is more like it. Come into our houseand he was so happy to see you he would knock you over.Deliverymen learned to leave things at the front door.

　　In some respects―Ph.D. potential for example―I don』t make any great claims for Chester. When I would arrive home I fully expected to find Hugo reading the newspaper. Not Chester. Chester would try to make his way through a narrow sliding door find himself stuck halfway and then look at me with total and quite genuine puzzlement.I don』t think he ever got to understand that the rear part of him was actually attached to the front.

　　But it was Chester who dispensed affection as unreflectively as he breathed who got me thinking about this long ago pact between humans and dogs. Cat lovers and the pet averse will just roll their eyes at such dogophilia.I can』t help it. Chester was always at your foot or your hand waiting to be petted and stroked played with and talked to. His beautiful blocky head his wonderful overgrown puppy』s body his baritone bark filled every corner of house and heart.

　　Then last month at the tender age of 8 he died quite suddenly. The long slobbering slothful decline we had been looking forward to was not to be. When told the news a young friend who was a regular victim of Chester』s lunging lovebombs said mournfully「He was the sweetest creature I ever saw. He』s the only dog I ever saw kiss a cat.」

　 Some will protest that in a world with so much human suffering it is something between eccentric and obscene to mourn a dog. I think not. After all it is perfectly normal indeed deeply human to be moved when nature presents us with a vision of great beauty. Should we not be moved when it produces a vision―a creature―of the purest sweetnesst -

根據我的觀察，狗開了這次大會。噢，也許是在兩萬年以前開的。那是一次盛大聚會――有各地代表參加的一次國際會議。正是在那次會議上它們做出了決定：人是上進的物種，狗要與他們共命運。這個決定顯然未取得一致見解。狼和野狗憤然離會表示抗議。

　　貓的反應更消極。它們聽到這個消息后，也召開了會議――當然是在巴黎――痛斥狗屈服於人類強權的懦弱行徑。(它們的聲明――《貓的狀況》――仍然可以在外省書店裡看到。)

　　必須承認，貓幹得不壞。利用欺騙和誘惑，它們設法讓人類餵養它們，所以，既不挨餓又保持了目中無人的派頭。一個絕招兒。老實厚道的狗簽署並發表了那項聲明。於是開始了人與狗的一段美好友誼。

　　我必須承認，我並不是一下子就對狗產生好感的。我生長在一個不喜歡寵物的家庭里。在猶太移民的家庭里，狗不是最重要的。父親對寵物不感興趣。他不是恨寵物，只是認為寵物是多餘的，是累贅。當哥薩克人追著你滿歐洲跑的時候，你需要輕裝上路。(順便說一句，歐洲猶太人小提琴家之所以大大多於猶太人鋼琴家，原因就在這裡。不信你就打包一架鋼琴試試。)

　　我父母確實遷就過我們養寵物。我養過一隻龜，弟弟養過一隻長尾鸚鵡。兩個的結局都很不幸。我的龜掉到一個散熱器的後面，發現時已經沒救了。而那隻鸚鵡，願上帝保佑它，有一次飛出窗外，就再也沒見到影兒。在表現出如此糟糕的管理之後，我們還哪敢提養狗的事兒。

　　是我的妻子羅賓使我開始了解到狗的神奇的。她是澳大利亞人。而澳大利亞，正如比爾

me and u and a dog name boo.
by lobo

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貝兒
it's a song.

oh!

What??