美國的政治幽默-1

"Earlier today, the Pentagon launched the biggest air attack in Iraq since 2003. The White House said the attack will continue until President Bush's approval rating goes above 40%." --Jay Leno
　　
　　今天早些時候，五角大樓在伊拉克發動了2003年以來最猛烈的空襲。白宮說，攻擊將會持續到布希總統的支持率上升到40%以上。
　　
　　"The FBI is investigating Americans -- just for opposing the war. You know, maybe when we're done establishing a democracy in Iraq, we could try it over here. Stop, I don't want to get investigated, don't applaud!" --Jay Leno
　　
　　FBI正在調查美國人——只是那些反戰的部分。你知道，也許當我們真的能夠在伊拉克建立民主后，我們就可以試著在這裡實行了。停，停，停！不要鼓掌，我可不想被調查。
　　
　　"Mexican President Vincente Fox announced that they have discovered oil under the Gulf of Mexico. In a related story, President Bush accused Mexico of having weapons of mass destruction." --Jay Leno
　　
　　墨西哥總統Vincente Fox宣布他們在墨西哥灣發現了石油！與此同時，布希總統譴責墨西哥擁有大規模殺傷性武器。
　　
　　"Former President Bill Clinton is telling people that his gut is saying that America is ready for a woman president. And I would say to President Clinton that's not your gut talking." --David Letterman
　　
　　前總統BILL 柯林頓告訴人們說，他的內心告訴他，美國已經為他的第一位女總統做好了準備。我的內心告訴我，柯林頓先生還沒有為此做好準備。
　　
　　"In front of a crowd in Florida this past weekend, Al Gore said that, "The people of the United States are going to stand up and take our country back." And then the manager of the karaoke bar took the microphone away and said, "Either sing or sit down buddy." --Jay Leno
　　
　　上周末佛羅里達的一個聚會上，歌手Al Gore說：「美國人民正在站起來，把我們的國家收回來」。酒吧的經理過來把話筒拿走了，說：「夥計，要麼唱歌，要麼就坐下。」
　　
　　"President Bush's approval rating is not good. A new Gallup poll puts it at just 36% which is a new low for his presidency. He is just slightly more popular than herpes now." --Jimmy Kimmel
　　
　　「布希總統的支持率不是太好，最新的蓋洛普民意測試顯示只有36%，到達了他的總統任期內的最新低。現在，他的流行率只是比皰疹稍微大一點點。」
　　
　　"Everybody's excited about March Madness, the big NCAA tournament? Here's how it works: It starts at 65, then 64, then 32, then 16. It's just like Bush's approval rating." --David Letterman
　　
　　每個人都為「三月瘋狂」興奮，那是美國大學體育協會組織的規模最大的比賽，規則是這樣的：從65開始，然後64，然後32，然後16——恰好就像布希的民眾支持率。
　　
　　"Bush's former domestic policy advisor Claude Allen, he's now charged with defrauding department stores. And when Bush heard about this he was stunned, he was shocked. He had no idea he had a domestic policy adviser." --David Letterman
　　


布希的前國內政策顧問Claude Allen，現在正因欺詐百貨公司而受到控告。當布希聽到這一消息后他驚呆了，他被完全震住了，他從來不知道他曾有過這樣一位國內政策顧問。
　　
　　"They said on the news tonight that U.S. spy satellites are being used to track infected birds with the bird flu. Well, they worked so well in the hunt for Osama bin Laden." --Jay Leno
　　
　　他們在今天晚上的新聞里說，美國的間諜衛星正在追蹤帶有禽流感病毒的鳥類，哦，那些衛星在追捕本.拉登的過程中發揮了真是相當有效的作用。
　　
　　"South Korean Prime Minister Lee Hae-Chan ... has offered to resign after he was criticized for playing golf instead of overseeing the government response to a railway strike. Imagine that, a government official doing nothing in the face of a natural disaster. Thank god that could never happen here. Actually, Lee Hae-Chan is a Korean name, it means FEMA." --Jay Leno
　　
　　韓國的總理 Lee Hae-Chan被批准辭職，因為他被指責，本應在處理一起火車碰撞事故的時候，卻在打高爾夫球。想想那種情況吧，一位政府官員在自然災害面前什麼都沒有做。真是感謝上帝，那種情況不會發生在我們這裡。實際上， Lee Hae-Chan是一個韓國名字，他的意思是：聯邦應急管理局。

[ 本帖最後由 記憶中的橡皮擦 於 2007-6-19 09:56 編輯 ]

Very interesting! They shown American humor.

有的還看不懂~