2. who would like to check my essay? (grammar, vocabs, and phrases)

The plan of the highest Ferris Wheel in Shanghai is destroyed
As Shanghai』s economies are growing fast, the former mayor of Shanghai was planning to build the highest Ferris Wheel in Shanghai, the place which worth 1.4 billion Chinese Yuan, on the riverside of Huang Pu Jiang,.

When citizens passed the place where were going to build the Ferris Wheel, they all thought that the government should do something more, because there was nothing on progress for a long time.

Before the plan is destroyed, the former mayor of Shanghai usually bragged about the plan, also, the Ferris Wheel is the largest part of the 5-year-programme of Shanghai. The Ferris Wheel was designed much higher than London Eye, with height of 200 meters and wheel radian of 170 meters.

After the new mayor was elected, the plan was developing. Although the new mayor was supporting it, the wheel plan, lack of money to afford the land, and the pressure from the public, force it to death. Most of people agree the Ferris Wheel is a thoroughgoing waste of money, for the purpose of showing wealth.

"Plan is destroyed"= the plan itself (architectural plan) has been destroyed (destroyed by fire; torn up; ...whatever).  In this case, it should "The plan has been scrubbed/cancelled/abandoned/scarped.
  Is this the tallest Ferris Wheel in Shanghai, or in the world. When you say, "the tallest Ferris Wheel in Shanghai", you are implying that there are others in Shanghai, and that this is the tallest of all of them (in Shanghai.)
   There are other mistakes. But I am not doing anything for backchina since they blacklisted my forum without warning or even informing me. I would gladly have come to an understanding with them if they have talked to me first.  But I guess the management  is one of unilateral action: shoot first, and not even telling why.

My cents – please see the revised writing in brackets below.


The plan of the highest Ferris Wheel in Shanghai is destroyed

(On the title, I agree with the #2 post above)

As Shanghai』s economies are growing fast, the former mayor of Shanghai was planning to build the highest Ferris Wheel in Shanghai, the place which worth 1.4 billion Chinese Yuan, on the riverside of Huang Pu Jiang,.

(With the rapid economic growth of Shanghai, its former mayor proposed the highest Ferris Wheel in (the world? Shanghai?) right on the riverbank of the Huangpu River, at a projected cost of 1.4 billion RMB. )

When citizens passed the place where were going to build the Ferris Wheel, they all thought that the government should do something more, because there was nothing on progress for a long time.

(Nowadays when the city』s residents pass by the former site of the Ferris Wheel, many feel the government need to do something about it, as the site sits idle and becomes an eye sore in this city of motion) (My reasons for the changes: 1. 「Citizens」 is a very broad concept. Most citizens in China may not know or care about the project. Those most concerned are likely to be the residents of Shanghai. So be specific; 2. About the tense: I think you are talking about what the people are thinking NOW, not in the past; 3. The last part of this paragraph: I assume you are trying to create a contrast between the fast pace of the city and the open and empty wheel site).

Before the plan is destroyed, the former mayor of Shanghai usually bragged about the plan, also, the Ferris Wheel is the largest part of the 5-year-programme of Shanghai. The Ferris Wheel was designed much higher than London Eye, with height of 200 meters and wheel radian of 170 meters.

(Before the plan was scrapped, the then Shanghai mayor bragged about the wheel as a center piece of his five-year plan for Shanghai. At 200 meters high and 170 meters in diameter, it was designed to be much higher than the London Eye.)

After the new mayor was elected, the plan was developing. Although the new mayor was supporting it, the wheel plan, lack of money to afford the land, and the pressure from the public, force it to death. Most of people agree the Ferris Wheel is a thoroughgoing waste of money, for the purpose of showing wealth.

(After the new mayor took office, the plan for wheel was reinstated at one point. However, even with the new mayor』s support, the lack of funding and public pressure brought about its demise. Most people believe the Ferris Wheel is a total waste of money and nothing more than an extravaganza the city can ill afford.) (My reasons for the changes: 1. You need to be more precise about the time. 「…. was developing」 alone is not specific enough. 2. 「For the purpose of showing (off) wealth」 is grammatically correct, but 「extravaganza」 may be more concise.

[ 本帖最後由 shanren 於 2007-2-11 05:30 編輯 ]

Instead of "who would like to check my essay," I would probably put it a little differently, something like "Will someone please help review my essay?"