長鼻子老外：我很喜歡和中國漂亮女孩約會

作者：Trevor Metz(加拿大) 朱磊/編譯

　　先介紹一下我的女朋友，晶晶。她以前有過一段婚姻，是同一位中國男士，她曾經約會過別的外國人，我也不是第一個和她有長期關係的外國男子。所以，她應該是一個很平衡的參照物，在比較兩種文化不同的問題上很有發言權。

　　首先我問她，外國男人什麼方面吸引了她。她說，「西方人很簡單，一次約會過後，我就知道他是好人還是壞蛋。我喜歡和一個英俊的西方男子在一起，而被別人注意的那種感覺。西方男人比中國人看上去更強壯，更高，更英俊，我喜歡這種感覺。」

　　當我問到西方男人的態度時，她說：「西方男士對中國女孩更有禮貌；他們更注重自己的形象和生活細節；他們看上去更乾淨，也更有趣；和中國男人相比，他們更了解世界。我覺得他們更聰明些。」

　　接下來我又問她，和一個外國人拍拖有什麼不好的地方嗎？她回答道：「我喜歡一些人看我的眼光，不過另外一些人對我的看法使我感到很不快。他們會問：為什麼你這麼一個漂亮的中國女孩，會想到要和一個老外拍拖？他們在你身後議論，談些讓你不快的事情。」

　　她說，同外國人交往也不是一帆風順的，因為存在著巨大的文化差異。有些細節她認為很重要，而西方男人就不會認真對待。「西方人都很自私。他們只想到自己，而不管其他人。比如，吃東西的時候，他們從不會問女孩是不是想先嘗一口，只是抓起自己想吃的就大嚼起來。而中國人則喜歡首先考慮別人。這只是我舉的一個例子，還有很多其他不同。」

　　我知道這樣做是在玩火，不過我還是問，她喜歡我和不喜歡我哪些地方？她說：「我很喜歡你，所以我想為你做些什麼。我喜歡你的誠實，你很善良，對我也很好。我喜歡你的個性，但你跟朋友出去玩也太頻繁了吧。你們總是去酒吧喝酒玩飛鏢，把女朋友忘在腦後。每當這時我就很憤怒。」

　　最後我問她最想改變我什麼，如果能夠的話。她說：「我不想改變你，那樣你就變成別人了。我只是希望你好，我不希望你抽煙、喝酒，我希望你身體健康。」我不得不說，男人需要發泄，玩幾次飛鏢，喝幾杯啤酒和偶爾抽幾根煙，沒有你想的那麼十惡不赦。

　　我很喜歡和中國女孩約會。我覺得我的女朋友很誠實，也很會照顧人。我知道不是每個中國女孩都喜歡西方男人，同樣也不是每個西方男子都喜歡中國女孩。不過我覺得這樣的組合還不錯，我們看上去都明白各自的需要。

　　這就是我想寫出來的，其中也許有些道理吧。我不想在此下什麼結論，因為這不是我的觀點。我希望這篇文章不要激怒什麼人，儘管我可以預見很多人看了會有些不快。不管怎麼樣，越來越多的外國人來到了中國，也許到了你們改變態度的時候了。

　　(本文作者系加拿大廣播公司專欄作家)
長鼻子老外：我很喜歡和中國漂亮女孩約會

　　By Trevor Metz

　　Why do foreigners like Chinese women? We just do. You have read all that before but I am going to try to illustrate why Chinese girls like western guys. I am sure the following column is going to offend some people but I don』t mean it as a slap in the face. I am writing it purely to provide some insight. I am using my girlfriend as my Guinea Pig. If you don』t know what that means, it』s not as offensive as it sounds. It means I am going to use her as my subject for the column.

　　To give you some background on my girl, Jing Jing, she has dated foreign guys before. I am not the first foreign man she has had a long relationship with. She has also been married before to a Chinese man so she has a balanced frame of reference. I am not saying she is the ultimate authority but she can put the two cultures in perspective.

　　I first asked her, what attracted her to foreign men? She said, 「Western guys are easy to read. I know if they are good or bad guys after one date.」 She also said, 「I like the attention I get from being with a handsome western man. I think western men are stronger looking than Chinese men. I like that they are taller and more handsome.」

　　When it comes to western attitudes Jing Jing says, 「Western men are more polite to Chinese girls. They pay more attention to the details of their appearance and life. They are cleaner and they are more interesting. They know more about the world than Chinese men do. I just feel they are smarter.」

　　I told you this column would offend some of you.

　　I then asked her, what are the bad things about dating a foreigner? She said, 「While I like the way some people look at you, I don』t like the way others look at you. They ask, 「Why is such a pretty Chinese girl is dating a foreigner?」 They talk behind you and say unpleasant things.」

　　She says it isn』t all peaches and cream dating a foreigner. Jing Jing says there are huge cultural differences. She says little things matter to her that western men don』t take seriously. 「For instance, westerners are very selfish. It seems they just think about themselves and not care about others. Like when they are eating. They never ask the girl if she wants to eat first. They just grab what they want and eat it. Chinese people like to take others in consideration first. That』s just one of the many differences.」

　　I was playing with fire here when I asked her, what it was about me that she disliked or liked? I knew I was not going to like the answers I got back but I had to ask anyway. She said 「You are the person I really like so I want to do things for you. I like that you are honest. I think you are kind with a good heart and you treat me very well. I like your personality. But I don』t like when you go out too often with your friends. You go to bars and drink beers and play darts. You all ignore your girlfriends. It makes me crazy when you do these things!」

　　I finally asked her what she would change about me if she could. She said, 「I don』t want to change you. Then you would be someone else. I like you. I just want you to be good. I don』t want you smoking and drinking beers. I want you to be healthy.」 I had to chuckle about this. I like having beers and playing darts. I have cut back on my vices but I can』t seem to give up altogether. I don』t think I could keep my sanity in Beijing if I did. I hate to break this to you ladies, but men need an outlet. A few dart, beers, and smokes in moderation are not that bad.

　　Personally I really like dating a Chinese girl. I find her very honest and caring. She makes me take this awful medicine when I am sick. She makes me eat my vegetables. I love the way she cuddles up next to me in bed. I like the way she breaks out into hysterics every time I take off my shirt. She calls me 「Da Xing Xing」! Or monster! Or Peng Wawa, which I think means fat baby. I know not every girl prefers western guys and not every western guy prefers Chinese girls, but I think for the most part it』s a good fit. We seem to understand each other』s needs.

　　Now, to finally offend those who have not been offended yet, here we go. I asked her about sex about two months before I did this interview but remember clearly what she said. She mused that western men are much better in bed. She found we take our time with sex and concentrate more on the women』s pleasure. She said she found western men were a little larger in the pleasure regions as well. I had to laugh about this. I am not sure if this is something that Chinese girls tell their western boyfriends to make them feel good or not, but she seems pretty sincere. She said that her ex-husband just took care of business and rolled over. She said she knew there was more to sex and she felt frustrated by her sex life. Again, guys, I am not saying western men are bigger and better at sex; I am just retelling my girlfriend』s experiences.

　　So there you have it. Perhaps there is some insight in there somewhere. I can』t come to any conclusions from this because they are not my opinions. I hope this isn』t offensive, although I can imagine it won』t make many men are going to be happy. But then again, maybe it』s time for a change in attitudes as more and more foreigners come to China.