pain: love husband but living with in-laws :P

pain: love husband but living with in-laws

  
I love my husband very much.
In the beginning, I tried my best to love in-laws too. Buying them small or big gifts; greeting them every morning and evening and night; making topics on dinner table; calling them when they are away; etc...
After living together for a few months, bad things happen.
In-laws, as common as other old people, like to control their son and daughter-in-law, from daily life to career planning.
They say, "We just suggest you bala bala..." But if we express different opinions, they will keep suggesting on and on. First, they will make their points once a day. Then, they become persistent on their opinions. They will relate all kinds of topics to their opinions.
At this point, dinner table is very very very hard place because every single topic brought up will be dragged toward their mind focus: their opinions.
...
I get very tired...
I still love my husband very very very much. And I am still trying to love my in-laws. But reality is always too hard...
I can see my husband is also trying very hard to keep warm family atmosphere everyday. My heart goes out for him. My love for him keeps me smiling and loving my in-laws everyday. I am not sure how long this kind of life will be...

PS: my own parents have their own opinions too. But they will stop when I clearly tell them not say the same thing too many times. But I cannot tell my in-laws so.

I believe many of the people living with in-laws have the same feelings like that, and so do I. My mum in-law has stayed with us more than ten years and we plan to let her stay for the rest of her life. Let's say at least another ten years. As we know, there are always some kinds of discrepancies in our daily lives between in-laws and us. When it happens to us, our first reaction always wants to change them to fit our needs from our points of view. If we do so, we will make them feel miserable by living with us, and make ourselves feel bad about life and family. On the other hand, more often than not, we get ourselves depressed whenever uncomfortable with what they say and do at home. If our loved ones stand beside them in a time like that, we will feel even worse being misunderstood. This is part of life.

Per my observation and experience, one of the most important secrets to succeed at home is accepting our spouses and their parents exactly as they are. Don』t try to find faults with them and to nag at them. Don』t try to change them at all. We are part of our family and part of the solutions to make things better, not part of the trouble. Believe me, keeping talking to our spouses and being patience with our in-laws, and changing ourselves with positive attitude will make our in-laws feel happy at our family, most importantly, make us feel good about life.

[:493:]

a diamond to the follow-up discussion, and my salute.

Never mind. This kind of feeling is really true for daughters-in law who live with parents-in law, especially mothers-in law. It is not hard to understand that the mother has envyed you becasu she thinks that is her son and she spent too much on him, how come her son treats you so well in such a short time. Mothers feel so unbalance. Try to love the mothers as your own mothers and think things in your husband's stance, as a young generation, we should respect the seniors and do something to satisfy them, shouldn't we?  if they are too hard to serve, just stay far away from them. As a saying goes well, " We can't stand it, however, we can avoid it."

" ruo bu qi, duo de qi."