Bad jokes puns and nonsense

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

7. Is there another word for synonym?

8. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

9. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

10. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

11. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

12. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

13. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

14. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

15. How is it possible to have a civil war?

16. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

17. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

18. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

19. Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

20. Why is there an expiry date on sour cream?

21. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

22. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If clouds are condensed vapor water and ice in the air, why do we still have waters and ices on the ground?

the waters and ices on the ground haven't gathered enough thermal energy to vaporize into the air.

and these monkeys and apes missed the opportunity when the evolution cycle began.