愚人節10大整蠱指南：不會起泡的肥皂(雙語)

April Fools' Day is fast approaching, so whether you choose to prank your significant other, your BFF, or your entire office, it's time to come up with a game plan NOW. Your trickery should follow this basic rubric: 1) funny and 2) harmless. Not harmless in a way that squeezes all the fun out of it. Yes, a screaming reaction is usually good… but only when it's followed by a screaming fit of laughter。
　　愚人節就在眼前，想要整蠱你的另一半、好朋友或者整個辦公室的同事，現在就趕緊行動起來吧。不過，你的整蠱行為應該遵循以下兩條原則：1)有趣，2)無害，玩笑造成的傷害一定不能大於製造的樂趣。的確，聽到被整蠱的人尖叫是很好，當然後面跟著笑聲才行。
　　For example, George Clooney has pulled many a questionable stunt to earn the Hollywood title of Chief Mischief-Maker, and everyone hates that guy. JK, everyone LOVES that guy! Learn everything you can from that guy — do the poor man's version of all his famous pranks — BUT just remember: he's ultra-handsome, ultra-rich, and ultra-charming, and he could get away with murder if he wanted to. The rest of us, however, are not George Clooney, so we need to make sure that no one gets hurt。
　　比如，喬治·克魯尼曾經上演過不少出格的玩笑，以至於在好萊塢圈子裡被稱為「首席搞怪官」，每個人都恨死他了。唉，我是開玩笑啦，大家都很愛他！要多向喬叔學習，可以來幾個草根版的克魯尼整蠱。不過要切記：他超級帥，超級有錢，而且超級有魅力，他甚至可以逃脫謀殺罪名。我們可不是喬治·克魯尼，所以開玩笑的時候記得不要傷害到別人。
　　Folks, so go forth with these 10 April Fools' Day pranks, and make merry!
　　大家都來試試以下這十個整蠱點子吧，愚人節快樂！
　　1. Hogwarts acceptance letters
　　霍格沃茲錄取通知書
　　Got any friends waiting to hear back on their college or grad school applications? Any of them happen to be huge fans of Harry Potter? Well, have I got the perfect prank for you — faux acceptance letters to Hogwarts! Make them extra formal and official-looking to have your friends wondering 「what the hell is going on?!?!」
　　有同學在等待大學或研究生錄取通知嗎？他們是哈利波特迷嗎？如果是，那麼這個點子剛好適合他們。盡量將信的外表造得正式一些，這樣你的朋友就會想到底發生了什麼事。
　　2. Horrifying pickled head
　　可怕的腌制腦袋
　　This one is especially great if you still live at home. Picture this: your dear, sweet mom opens the fridge to reveal her beloved daughter's decapitated head in a pickle jar. That mental image will spark joy and laughter for years to come — but only after you manage to calm her down。
　　如果你還住在家裡，這個點子就特別棒。想象一下，你親愛的媽媽打開冰箱的時候卻看到她深愛的女兒的頭被剁下來放到罐子里腌制會是什麼表情。如果你能成功地安撫你老媽，這個惡作劇將成為你們好幾年的談資。
　　3. Eating pudding out of a mayo jar
　　將蛋黃醬罐子裝滿布丁
　　This is a weird one, but I love it. Clean out a jar of mayo and fill it with vanilla pudding. Then the next day at work, casually pull it out and start eating straight from container. The idea of it is so disgusting that by the time 5 o'clock rolls around, Betsy the office busybody will have convinced all your coworkers to join her in staging an intervention. April Fool's mission: accomplished。
　　將蛋黃醬罐子洗乾淨，在裡面裝滿香草布丁。第二天工作的時候把它拿出來直接開吃。看到你這樣吃，同事會覺得噁心，有碎嘴的人還會發動所有同事過來阻止你。你的愚人節任務就可輕易完成。
　　4. Your lucky day (not)
　　看別人撿錢
　　There's always the classic supergluing coins to a busy sidewalk spot and watching people try (unsuccessfully) to pick them up. Just don't follow this prankster's lead, leave wet glue on the ground, and cause a panic. There were some fake bills floating around my neighborhood last month and I was psyched out literally every time I saw one… and every time I would laugh and think, 「Dammit, you got me again!」
　　看來往的人試著撿起一塊被強力膠粘在地上的硬幣，非常好玩。你可以在地面上塗上膠水，讓人們驚慌一下。上個月我們家附近時不時會飄著一些假幣，我每次看到都很激動……每次我都會笑著想，「可惡，你又騙到我了！」
　　5. Yummy office supply salad, courtesy of Jim Halpert
　　美味的辦公室沙拉
　　Jim was prank master on The Office, constantly besting Dwight in their battle of the wits. As the show progressed, he moved on to more epic, long game mischief, but at the end of the pilot he makes jello with Dwight's stapler, and it's one of the cleanest, most delightful gags of the entire series. In real life, though, this prank is probably best played on a friend. 在《辦公室》這部情景喜劇中，Jim是裡面的惡作劇大師，在與Dwight的戰鬥中，他屢戰屢勝。他曾將Dwight的訂書機放到了果凍里。在現實生活中，這種惡作劇最好與朋友一起玩。
　　6. Soap that just won't lather
　　不會起泡的肥皂
　　Do you have an anal retentive roommate? Does she stare you down whenever you eat without a plate? You know what they say — revenge is a dish best served in the shower! Cover your uptight roommate's soap with a healthy coat of clear nail polish, and she'll be flummoxed as to why she can't lather. Ah, good clean fun。
　　你有一位非常挑剔的室友嗎？你吃東西不用盤子的時候她是否會盯著你以免你把食物殘渣掉到地上？復仇的最好時機就是她洗澡的時候！在你那位室友的肥皂上塗上透明的護甲油，她肯定會奇怪為什麼肥皂不起泡。啊，簡直太好玩了。
　　7. Turn your coworker's world upside down
　　把你同事的電腦桌面倒過來
　　This one's not a show-stopper, but it is super easy, and tame enough for almost any office. When your (hopefully good-natured) coworker heads off for a bathroom break, hit Ctrl+Alt+Down Arrow to flip the screen on his or her PC upside down. The antidote is simple: Ctrl+Alt+Up Arrow… but it's probably going to take them a frustrated (read: funny) five minutes to figure that out。
　　這個不是那麼好笑，但容易操作，而且可以在任何辦公場所使用。趁你的同事去廁所的時候，同時按住Ctrl+Alt+向下的箭頭就能將電腦屏幕上的內容顛倒過來……返回操作就是Ctrl+Alt+向上的箭頭，不過他們可能要花5分鐘才能將屏幕調回來。
　　8. Brown E's
　　巧克力布朗尼(棕色的E)
　　If you like puns and tricking hungry, innocent tummies with the promise of delicious fudgy chocolate for the bait-and-switch of construction paper, then this will be right up your alley — a pan of brownies on the outside with inedible brown letter E's on the inside! No oven required to bake up this April Fool's trick, but you may have a hangry mob on your hands once your prank is revealed… don't say I didn't warn you!
　　如果你喜歡雙關語，又樂於用美味的巧克力蛋糕做誘餌整一整身邊的吃貨，這一招絕對適合你。炮製一盤外包錫紙上寫有巧克力布朗尼字樣的假甜點，裡面裝著的卻是棕色紙剪出來的E！做這款「蛋糕」自然用不到烤箱，不過，真相敗露后，你可能會被一群又氣又餓的吃貨圍攻，別怪我沒提醒你哦！
　　9. Theoretical wet floor
　　小心地滑
　　Guys, it's H2O the molecular model, not H2O the actual water! LOL, now THAT is a doozy!!! *Sighs, shrugs shoulders* To be fair, I'm not the target demo, but if you've got access to the right equipment and a brainy, captive audience, then I predict you'll make a splash with this April Fool's Day prank. Here's looking at you, nerds。
　　同學們，灑在地上的不是真正的水，而是構成水的H2O水分子模型！哈哈哈，這一招太出彩了！旁邊一堆人聳肩，嘆息。。。不過，我不是這個玩笑的目標人群，如果你手裡有合適的材料，又有一群知識淵博的觀眾，這個點子肯定能在愚人節大放異彩。哈哈，看你們的了。
10. Toilet explosion
　　廁所爆炸
　　This walks the line in terms of harmlessness, but oh my G, it would scare the bejesus out of me! In fact, maybe it's the thought that counts with this stunt. I advise you to NOT actually do it, but just think about how scary it would be. POP! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Yup, that's good enough。
　　這個惡作劇有點可怕，真的會嚇到別人。其實，我覺得單單有這個想法就夠了。我建議你不要真的做這種事。想一想這個玩笑的後果有多嚇人，就夠了。
　　Happy April Fool's, y'all! Just remember: always ask yourself, 「What Would George Clooney Do?,」 and keep in mind that the first rule of April Fools' Day is safety。
　　愚人節快樂！只要記住，永遠問問你自己「喬治·克魯尼會做什麼？」並永遠記住愚人節的第一要義是安全。