Ask Alaskas (Neat Questions and Neat Answers)

Just come across this neat dialogue between people who have questions to ask and a smart woman who has got answers for all of them. Have fun.

Q: My husband can eat half a sheet cake by himself. He's gained 60 pounds in the last 8 years and is gobbling his way to 300 pounds. I no longer buy snacks for the kids because he eats them all and then complains about indigestion. When suggest altering his eating habits, he shrugs and says he's not worried about his weight. Should I keep mouth shut or keep trying to keep his mouth shut? (By Married to Jabba the Hut)
A: Dear Mrs. Jabba, It you are looking forward to early widowhood, don't say another word. But if you want to grow old with the big lug, tell him that you are worried about his weight! He's got a health problem. Make an appointment with a doctor--and drive him there yourself.

Q: I am 32, have two degrees--one in cooking one in business-- but recently lost my job. My wife has a career and hasn't given me any emotional support. I'd like to start own business, but she's against it and fears the worst. What should I do? (By Entrepreneur)
A: Dear Entrepreneur, The business idea sounds like the least of your problems. What you are describing is an emotionally absent wife who isn't sharing your dream. The road you are headed down has "dead end" posted on it. Get some marriage counseling, and build a solid foundation at home before starting a venture as challenging as a new business.

Q: I have a little traffic problem. My in-laws never knock when they come to visit-- 10 a.m. or 10 p.m. They think my house is their house. How can I convince them to show common courtesy before barging into my home? (By Revolving Door)
A: Dear Revolving, Buy a deadbolt and a doorbell.

Q: E-mail is the biggest detriment to communication I've seen in my lifetime. My kids never call. They e-mail jokes and trivia, but a real conversation is out of the question. I've told them my cell phone is on 24/7--to no avail. What can I do to make them understand the pleasures of the spoken word? (By Spammed)
A: Dear Spam, I feel your pain. A few generations ago, people were cursing the telephone for destroying the fine art of letter writing-- now we're losing voice contact too. But there's no stopping time or technology. And many people say e-mail helps them keep in touch. If you want to show your kids the pleasures of the spoken words, why don't you call them? Instead of carping, phone them every few days to share an amusing anecdote, inquire about their lives, hobbies and passions, or simply to say "I love you!"

Q: I've always been shy. But now at 26 years old, I'm beginning to have more trouble interacting with others. In the office, I think people are talking about me. At the movies or in restaurants, if someone stares at me, I'm convinced he is angry with me or doesn't like me. If I say hello to people and they don't reply, I think they've got something against me. I can't control these thoughts, and they seem to be growing. What should I do? (By Miserable)
A: Dear Miserable, Your problem sounds like more than shyness. Paralyzing fear about what other people are thinking about you may be sign of a serious mental disorder-- for which there is help. Find a therapist immediately. There are medications and programs to relieve your phobias.

Q: I met this great guy, but there is one problem: I am neat and organized. He leaves the kitchen a mess. When he changes clothes, he drops them on the floor. We've talked about moving in together, but I don't want us to get on each other's nerves. I've tried to broach the subject with him, but he's sensitive to criticism. I don't want to nag but I also don't want to be his maid. Any suggestions? (By Neatnik)
A: Dear Neatnik, You're neat; he's a slob. That setup has made for many happy unions. (I know because I'm a slob married to a neatnik.) Why do opposites attract? Emotional magnetism? Revenge of the gods? Who knows! One thing I've discovered over the years: Slobs and neatniks only get more so. So, ask yourself: Is this man worth reaching down and picking up for? If he is, stop thinking of yourself as his maid and look at it as a way of loving. If he isn't worth it, sweep him out and keep scouring the city for Mr. Clean.

Source: Reader's Digest (Nov. 2004)

i like this kind of post!

Adelyn, more?

well done! do enjoy it

Q: Our office is a cube farm. Private offices are for executives only. My manager sits right behind me and is exceptionally LOUD, especially when he's on the phone. He's driving me crazy. How do you "complain to the boss" about the boss? A WORKER BEE
A: Dear Bee, Telling your boss he's bugging you is like swatting a hornet's nest with a baseball bat. Unless his behavior is unethical or illegal, I'm a^fraid you're stuck with Mr. Buzz. Try earplugs, cram in important phone calls during his lunch hours, and always do whatever you can to help your boss get promoted-- in this case to a higher, private office.

A question about a noisy "cube mate" a few months ago brought this advice from RD readers:
* Play a radio softly
* Use earphones with a CD player
* Post a sign: Quiet Please--You are entering a Hospital Zone
* White noise helps-- try a fan
* Eat when she eats, moan when she moans, and talk louder than she does.

Q: I am 51 and my lady friend is 48. We've known each other for years, and a while ago I asked her to marry me. She said yes, but she wanted to wait until after the holidays to tell her son and ex-husband. She talks to her ex at least twice a day-- about their son who's 20, she claims. Well, Christmas and New Year's same and went. So did Groundhog Day, Valentine's Day, Presidents' Day, and St. Patrick's Day. She's still stalling. Am I just idling time away? SITTING IN HOLIDAY TRAFFIC
A: Dear Traffic, Well, you certainly aren't in the fast lane. Your stalling friend may have the best of intentions, bit she's woefully entangled in her former life. Waiting months for her to break the big news to her ex is an insult to you. Tell her enough is enough or you're going to hit the accelerator and take the next exit ramp.

Q: My husband and I are young parents. (He's 25 and I'm 23.) He has a job that he likes and I am a stay-at-home mom-- and I love it. We are the proud parents of three little ones, and plan to have more. We get a lot of comments, even from strangers, like "Don't you think three is enough?" which is very upsetting to us. Any advice to get people off our back? MOMMY UNDER ATTACK
A: Dear Mommy, You don't need to justify your choices to anyone, especially rude and clueless people. Looks to me as if you're loving and responsible parents. Next time you get a comment from family, laugh it off and tell them, "I was born to love babies." If a stranger pipes up with an unsolicited opinion, say dryly, "How kind of you to be concerned about my family. Excuse me." And move on.

Q: I supervise 10 people at a small company and I'm attracted to one of my subordinates-- and he to me. Is it totally inappropriate for us to date casually? We are both mature adults and could easily keep our relationship low-key and separate. What do you think? FALLING
A: Dear Falling, I think you're plunging into dangerous waters. In this day and age, dating a subordinate is a situation ripe for allegations of sexual harassment, preferential treatment and coercive use of authority. Check your company's ethics rules. There are other risks. Romance is a setup for happiness or heartbreak. Could you stand seeing a former lover at work every day? If you're not violating the rules and your conscience, and the attraction outweighs the risks, go forth and date-- with your eyes wide open!

in some sense, i feel more likes joke.

My feeling about these dialogues is that they are based on real-life stories. Ms Alaskas is trying to provide some useful (and dependable) tips for those who have problems in work or at home: the problems average Americans would encounter in their daily lives. These people have told their experience honestly and expected for an equally honest answer. I agree they might look naive and seemingly have revealed a weak character for being overly open to strangers (the unknown readers), but this is exactly what they are: less fearful in telling their truth feelings (in public), which is typical American.
In addition, I find these are good examples of neat writing, that is, to tell an experience or present an idea with simple words while making it enjoyable for reading.