以前也看過幾位柔軟男人的文字,如Dan Savage, Gore Vidal的文章,倒是剛陽氣十足。這回倒要看看這名專門為美國大百貨公司Barneys從事櫥窗設計的時尚達人如何妙筆生花。
甫一開篇,立馬感到不俗的文字功底。光是那些章節標題就已經不同凡響, 絕對考倒任何翻譯:
1.Screaming Mimis 2. Tart-tongued
and Bitchy and Wise 3. Ke$ha and the Prissy Queen 4. The fag Hagony and the
Ecstasy 5. Work It Out, Sister 6. The Bitter Tears of Jackie O 7. Hokey Hookers
and Gypsy Tarts 8. A Diva and the Verger 9. Macaroons Are So Gay 10. Jamie
Oliver Is a Lesbian 11. Go Tuck Yourself 12. A Nelly on the Telly 13. Operation
Goldilocks 14. Gay Men Do Eat Crumble 15. The Most Important Word in the
History of Style 16. Can I Measure Your Inside Leg? 17. Moobs and Fat Asses 18.
The First Elf
This is the ultimate mash-up of gay and
straight, studs and starlets, a utopia fashion show of Fellini-esque
fierceness. All the handsome Italian lads look like soccer players or gigolos.
All the pretty Italian girls get dressed up and teeter down the Caprese
cobble-stones in strappy Dolce & Gabbana showgirl shoes. Think Monica Vitti
and Virna Lisi. Think Marcello Mastroianni. Think Anna Magnani!
(這是同性戀異性戀,猛男與二線明星匯合的終點,是一場帶有費里尼凌利風格的烏托邦時裝秀。義大利帥哥們個個看著像球星或舞男。義大利靚妞們個個打扮得花枝招展,穿著D & G 系帶鞋子,像嫩模一樣一扭一扭地走在卡普里島的碎石路上。)
柔軟男人的幽默感,毫不亞於陽剛男人。他是這麼描述母親懷他的情形的:
My pixie-sized frame is attributable to the
fact that Betty Doonan, God rest her nicotine-riddled soul, smoked like a
maniac when she was up the duff.
I am sure it looked and felt very Marlene
Dietrich to be wreathed in smoke while patting the bump, but there were
ramifications. After nine months of puffing, out popped little me. A waif. A
gamine. A shrimp.
With their porno-heeled pumps and their
protein-rich diets, the women of America
always loom menacingly over me. As a result, I have developed an intense
familiarity with the area below their boobs. I stare straight at it all day
long. If I had X-ray eyes, I would be looking at the pancreas and gall bladder
region. Bon Appetit!