第14章 – 哀悼的母親
當司家姐妹溜進似乎為她們保留的教堂前排的座位時, 一陣沉默席捲了本來已經非常安靜的人群。人們屏住呼吸,咽下已經打了一半的噴嚏,停下伸進錢包和口袋的手,閉住俯身靠到鄰座耳朵耳語的嘴。空氣變得異常緊張,直到約翰·亨特大步走向法媽,擁抱了她。法媽表情矜持,已經伸出準備與市長握手的右手顯的不知所措,但是聚集在教堂的全鎮居民還是一起輕鬆地吁了一口氣。 緊繃的氣氛終於得到鬆弛,雖然可能只是一點點。人們試圖要安靜下來的輕微的沙沙聲再次充滿了這個神聖的場所。
追悼會沒有提到瑪拉。也沒有提及任何有關婚禮,司氏家庭,或任何與Graham死亡相關的事。相反,它著眼於他短暫人生所取得的成就,把他從孩子培養為輝煌的法學畢業生的喜悅,以及未能看到他在他的新領域開花結果的遺憾。
司家姐妹們坐成一排,法媽邊上是瑪麗,接著是摩根,然後是米娜。在米娜邊上有意無意的留下一個小小的空間,或許瑪拉應該坐在那兒。但是,正如追悼會上沒有瑪拉的內容,在教堂里也沒有她本人出現。但是對於姐妹們,也許對於很多鎮上的人說,她的缺席象是一隻白色大象,靜靜地坐在他們的思想里。
在司家就坐的長椅上,姐妹們一排明亮的眼睛,藍色,褐色,灰色,在燈光下閃亮。三姐妹的眼睛都似一汪井水,充滿了眼淚,而米娜時不時用她的手背去擦乾從她灰色眼睛溢出的淚水。無論對約翰·亨特和他的妻子何種矛盾心理,她們已經在訂婚期間認識了格雷厄姆亨特,並開始象愛兄長一樣愛他。她們愛他,就象瑪拉愛上他,是出於同樣的原因,因為他善良,有趣,不像他們所知的其他人一樣,他對待他們就像對待任何人一樣。
如果瑪拉知道她不能來參加這個儀式會對她有毀滅性的打擊嗎?摩根對瑪麗感應道。
你認為她知道嗎?
她可能會感覺到。最起碼,她會感覺到我們都在一起,在這里哀悼。
雖然只有摩根和瑪麗之間有這種能夠通過思想直接溝通的特殊關係,所有的姐妹們的情感是聯結在一起的。即使她們相隔千里——雖然在這以前她們從來沒有分開過--她們能感覺到另一位姐妹的歡喜,沮喪,憤怒,害怕,或處於極度危險之中。這也是為什麼姐妹們感到瑪拉目前仍處在相對安全的狀況,因為如果她在監獄里發生了什么事,她們會感覺到。
摩根握住了瑪麗的手,這時,她們感到腳下在輕輕的顫動。
一定是瑪拉!瑪麗想著,她知道我們在這里。
正如摩根的魔力是火,瑪麗是水,瑪拉的魔力是土。然而,多年來,她在不斷地抑制它,拼命想成為一個正常人。像瑪麗一樣,她很小心地不在外人那兒透露她具有魔力的秘密,但是也不像瑪麗,她從來沒有在家關起門來認真的練功。因此,她的魔力是不穩定的,有時會在不由她控制下爆發。每當她有強烈的情感波動時,魔力就會失控,造成地面顫動。在Graham遇害那晚以後,姐妹們能偶而感到地面的震顫——甚至在報紙上也曾有人指出,雖然這樣的文章被深深地埋在血淋淋的,聳人聽聞的謀殺案的報道之中,無人注意。
追悼會結束后,來賓們應邀參加在花園里的招待會。跟著人流,姐妹們再次踏上了一個星期前走過的足跡,心情籠罩在婚禮和出了什么差錯的陰影里。
在花園里,代替婚禮蛋糕和帳篷搭起的臨時舞場的,是一個簡單的擺設:格雷厄姆的畫像,與報紙訃告里的照片一模一樣,掛在一個小桌子上。它的下面,放著一本很大的簽名本和一枝鋼筆,朋友和親人們,可以寫上他們的慰問和祝願。不斷收到的紀念格雷厄姆的花束和慰問卡,讓紀念儀式顯得非常熱爆。百花堆積在格雷厄姆的畫像周圍,把已經色彩鮮艷的花園變得更加燦爛多姿。
那些還沒有簽字的人們在排著隊,有一些人手上還拿著花束。亨特一家人站在桌子旁邊,接受大家的擁抱,握手,和拍拍肩膀的安慰。法媽把女兒們聚集在一起,排進了隊伍。
當輪到她們走到前面時,每個姐妹都在本子上寫下了對格雷厄姆要說的話。然後,她們面向了亨特太太,儘管她不斷的抽泣,她完美的眼線仍然完整無損,沒有被眼淚損壞。瑪麗極力對她微笑著,摩根沒有微笑,米娜只是用她那小鹿般驚恐的眼睛向上看著她。
「我們最深切的哀悼,」法媽說著,一步走出隊伍,這時亨特太太用手臂攔住了她。
「我很抱歉,」亨特太太說,這個舉動甚至讓法媽吃了一驚。她眼睛里的眼淚,慢慢地冒出來,彙集成一大顆淚珠,危險的掛在眼角,每次她把它們從臉上拭乾,它們又再次從她的臉上溢出。她用手臂摟住法媽,緊緊地擁抱了她。法媽後退了一步。
「您必須明白,」她說,「一位母親的哀傷...我...我這樣對您和您家人不公平......」她向後退了一下,看著米娜。 「我一直希望有女兒......但我很抱歉。對於所有的我帶給您們的不必要的痛苦。只是...很震驚!我唯一的兒子......「
法媽捏了捏她的手,點點頭。 「您失去的也是我們失去的」。她說完,便走開了,而人群中在角落裡注視著她的眼睛,也回到原來他們自己的對話中。
A
hush swept over the already quiet crowd when the Switch family slipped into the
pew at the front of the church that had been seemingly reserved for them.
Breaths were held and sniffles were swallowed, hands stopped as they reached
for the insides of purses and pockets, and mouths closed as they leaned over to
whisper into a neighbor』s ear. The air tightened and did not release until John
Hunter strode over to Fa and embraced her. Fa was stiff, having held out her
hand for the mayor to shake, but still the townspeople gathered let out a
collective sigh of relief. The tension broke, if only slightly, and the light
rustle of people trying to be quiet once again filled the sanctuary.
The
memorial service did not mention Mara Switch. Neither was any mention made of
the wedding, the Switch family, or any of the circumstances surrounding
Graham』s death. Rather, it focused on the accomplishments of his short life,
the joy of raising him through childhood to a brilliant law student, the regret
of not being able to see him blossom in his new field.
The
Switch sisters sat in a line, Marie next to Fa, then Morgan, then Mina. A small
space had been unintentionally left next to Mina, where perhaps Mara should be
sitting. But just as Mara was absent from the contents of the service, so too
was her presence missed in the church. For the sisters, and perhaps for much of
the town too, her absence was the white elephant that sat silently in their
thoughts.
In
the Switch pew, the row of the sisters』 bright eyes–blue, brown, and
grey–sparkled in the light. All three sisters held wells of tears in their
eyes, with Mina occasionally reaching up to wipe her grey ones on the back of
her hand. Whatever ambivalence they had felt for John Hunter and his wife, they
had come to know Graham Hunter during the engagement, and had started to love
him as a brother. They loved him for the same reasons that had Mara made fall
in love with him: he was kind, he was fun, and unlike everybody else they knew,
he had treated them just like he would treat anybody.
Mara would be so devastated knowing that she
couldn』t come to this, Morgan thought to Marie.
Do you think she knows?
She can probably feel it. At the very least she
would feel that we』re all together, here, mourning.
Though
only Morgan and Marie had the special connection of being able to communicate
directly through thoughts, all of the sisters were empathetically linked. Even
if they were miles apart–though they had never been until now–they could feel
if another sister was ecstatic, depressed, angry, scared, or in grave danger.
It was the only reason why the sisters could feel relatively secure that Mara
was still okay in her cell–if something had happened to her, they would have
felt it.
Morgan
reached for Marie』s hand, and as she did, the ground trembled lightly beneath
their feet.
That must be Mara, Marie
thought. She
knows we』re here.
Just
as Morgan』s power was over fire and Marie』s was over water, Mara』s power was
over earth. For many years, however, she had suppressed it, wanting desperately
just to be normal. Like Marie, she was overly cautious about revealing her true
identity to the people outside their family, but unlike Marie she had never
practiced methodically at home behind closed doors. As a result, her powers
were erratic and would sometimes flare outside of her control. Whenever she
experienced strong emotions, they would come out uncontrollably, causing the
ground to shake. The sisters had felt occasional tremors since the night of
Graham』s death–even the newspapers had noted it, though of course the article
was buried deep in the middle pages, outshone by the gory, glamorous coverage
of the murder.
The
memorial service ended and guests were invited to the reception in the garden.
Following the stream of people outside, the sisters once again traced their
steps from a week before. The shadow of the wedding and what had gone awry hung
over the procession.
In
the garden, instead of a wedding cake and a tent for dancing, a memorial for
Graham had exploded with bouquets of flowers and handwritten notes. It was a
simple presentation: Graham』s portrait, the same one that had appeared in the
newspaper obituary, had been set up on a small table. Underneath it, a big book
lay open with a fountain pen sitting next to it: a place where friends and
family could write their condolences and send-offs. Hundreds of flowers were
piled around it, turning the already brilliantly colored garden into an
overwhelming sight for the eyes.
The
attenders lined up to sign the book, if they had not already, some with still
more flowers in hand. The Hunter family positioned themselves next to the
table, taking hugs, handshakes, and firm pats on the shoulder as they came down
the line. Fa gathered her daughters, sweeping them into the line.
When
they reached the front, each sister wrote a message to Graham in the book. Then,
they faced Ms. Hunter, whose perfectly eyelinered eyes were unsmeared despite
her continual sobbing. Marie tried to smile, Morgan did not, and Mina just
looked up, doe-eyed and scared.
「Our
deepest condolences,」 Fa said, and she moved to step out of the line, when Ms.
Hunter brought out an arm to stop her.
「I』m
so sorry,」 Ms. Hunter said, and even Fa was taken aback this time. The tears in
her eyes, which had simmered to a pool hanging dangerously over the corners,
overflowed again as she wiped them from her face. She brought her arms around
Fa and hugged her tightly. Fa stepped back.
「You
must understand,」 she said, 「A mother』s grief…I…I have been so unfair to you,
and your family…」 She trailed off, looking at Mina. 「I』ve always wanted
daughters…but I』m so sorry. For all the unnecessary pain I caused you. It』s
just…the shock! My only son…」
Fa
squeezed her hand and nodded. 「Your loss is also ours,」 she said. She stepped
away, and the crowd that had been watching from the corners of her eyes darted
back to their original conversations.