英文詩翻譯——求助
。我們兩口子加上獨生女和女婿,都是學Computer 的。女兒也有了上高中的一女一男。我的外孫女Kathleen,正在上LOS ALTOS高二。雖然我們全家人都希望她學理工,以考上著名理工大學為目標。但是架不住她從初中起,就對英文閱讀和寫作感興趣,在學校的網站上發表英文詩作。上高中開始,自己就應徵並被錄取為校報記者。可是我們都不是以英語為母語,實在愛莫能助。(儘管校報有專職編輯)。
下面是她發表的兩首英文詩:
(中文譯文是我先讓ChatGPT譯成中文,但是翻譯出來的根本不像中文的詩,而像散文一樣。我只好以我有限的中文功底,儘可能做到即遵循英文原意,又照顧到中文習慣和押韻)
英文單詞的多意性比中文要複雜得多,因此翻譯成中文更加困難。特別是對我們非英語母語,又非英語專業的人。本身對英語就理解不深,翻譯出來的可能和詩人本意相去甚遠。更何況」詩「作為一種特殊的文學作品,它的意境更是隨著作者和讀者在不同的時空,不同的心境,又會延申出不同的隱喻。
請各位大俠,伸出援手,對英文原作或是我的中文譯文,給出點評或修改,不勝感謝直至,本人願贈與禮品以示感激。
(一) SUGAR
FREE
Kathleen Zhu
it』s suffocating.
the hold
you have on
me
like iron chains
twisting around my
body,
tightening around
my limbs and neck
but
you know
you baked me a pie
yesterday
Its sweet
sweet aroma
embraces me
from the soil
that
heaves me down
I could almost
taste the scent of candy apple
feel the flames flickering kisses
onto my cheeks
It melts the iron
chains
that carve into my frail flesh
bite into my brittle bones
bind down my hollow heart
until
click
clink
finally
Finally
I'm free
of my chains—
of you—
just to realize
the apple pie
that
was once baked
with gentle thoughts
has long rotted
the smell
no longer sweet
the wisp of sugary
air
flickers beside me and angers
until
it's an ember
in my mouth,
burning hope
burns up
into flecks of
dimming ashes
where were the sweet
kisses
that were premised ?
where was my freedom?
I should』ve known
you would
bake your pie
sugar-free,
it was
all
sugar coated.
這種感覺
讓人窒息
你的擁抱
如同鐵鏈
環繞在我的
身體周圍
緊箍著我的
項頸雙臂
但是你知道
昨天你給我
烤了一個派
它甜美的香氣
縈繞著我
把我從
地面上托起
我可以領略到
勒緊了我
癱軟的身體
融入了我
酥脆的骨髓
束縛了我
(二) The pink
Kathleen Zhu
pink used to be
bright and colorful
a pretty pink
sometimes your love
felt intense like crimson
other times
a warm, soft blanket of rose pink,
nestling the innocence of a newborn
it used to feel like
laying on a cotton-candied cloud,
faintly drifting off
in the fragrance of roses
and fluffiness of clouds
pink after you
is rose pink
but the petals
have turned murky brown
and the leaves have broken
from their branches
leaving only thorns that 「p 「
rick and pierce through the skin
pink after you is
pink with the emphasis on the "p"
like
when you
press your lips tightly together
and spit it out
with such force
It sounds like a curse word
like "p" for pathetic
"p" for puny
"p" for problematic
like "p" for pink
but it should be
wispy and wistful
and transform you
into a fairy
but this pink…
it tears the wings off my back
a slow shred of shhk
like the ripping of
a paperback
粉紅本應是一種
明亮而繽紛的
有時你的愛
感覺強烈如深紅
其他時候則是
一層溫暖柔軟的
後來的你的粉紅
卻是玫瑰粉紅
但花瓣已經
變成深棕
葉子從枝幹上脫落
再使勁噴出來,
聽起來
像是一個咒語
就像pathetic(可憐的) 中的「P」
像puny(微小的) 中的「P」
像problematic(困難的)中的「P」
更像pink(粉紅的) 中的「P」
但它應該是
輕柔的、渴望的