抗疫雜記（252）文/挑燈看劍

美國這次大選，令許多華人家庭出現矛盾和衝突，華一代與華二代之間的衝突尤其顯著。

子女成長過程中, 父母的價值觀對子女會產生極大影響。許多華一代在毛澤東思想的浸泡中長大, 人在自由世界, 心卻留戀專制制度，價值觀和思維方式還是毛澤東思想和中國封建文化熏陶出的那一套: 革命式, 家長式, 奴才式, 典型表現是對老毛和川普這類具有強烈專制獨裁思想之人的懷念與崇拜。更可悲的是某些華一代到了美國十年二十年甚至一輩子，英文還是半吊子，只看中文媒體，接受二手三手經過多次加工的信息。不能用英文與孩子交流，卻毫無自知之明，擺出一副唯我獨尊的樣子在孩子面前耍威風，愚蠢又可笑。

        

華二代在家裡受這種價值觀念影響, 在學校在社會接受西方民主自由平等價值觀念熏陶, 與父母出現溝通困難甚至激烈衝突在所難免。

我們公司每年為員工子女設立一個大學入學獎學金, 所有員工子女都可以申請, 要求是進入大學的孩子寫一篇文章, 闡明自己的價值觀和此價值觀對自己成長的影響。兒子大學一年級時曾寫一篇發給我, 我遞交給公司前讀了一遍, 覺得兒子文章寫的相當具體深刻, 而且很有文采，值得一讀，貼出來分享。

價值觀念是一個社會文明進步的基石，培養孩子正確的價值觀念應是教育最重要的任務。

Values ­--It』s Who We Are 

There is much grey in this world, imparted as a heavy fog in the minds of all which blur the lines between right and wrong. I was raised in an immigrant household, newly arriving in Niagara Falls upon fleeing the communist regime in China in the early 1990』s. Torn between multiple cultural identities, I never felt right believing blindly in what others』 had expected of me. Nor did I once believe that there were inherently correct choices in many circumstances. Instead, people were guided by their values, a set of prevailing ideals that they developed over their lifetimes. To many, this is a light in the grey fog, helping one to choose their own path. 

I attended the french immersion program in high school. I learned a great deal over my four years, not just academically but also how to craft my dreams and desires into action upon graduating. Most importantly though, was the character that I exhibited to my peers and mentors as I had always treated them with the utmost respect. Many of my teachers regarded me as exemplary in both my studies and passion for learning, while my peers regularly approached me for guidance in their own studies and personal issues. Gaining their trust and loyalty was just a function of how I always acted, and the values I showcased at school. This culminated in receiving the Award for Student Excellence from the Scotiabank Convention Centre during my graduation ceremony. 

My time as a tour guide at the Ten Thousand Buddha Sarira Stupa proved to be a great turning point. As I was inexperienced in the beginning, I fumbled through my first few tours. However there was a host of many great prior volunteers who helped build my skills and confidence as an orator. While I started very narrow minded and driven to do well myself, I found that the real value of my work was helping others, whether that was raising awareness about what buddhism had to offer, or eventually guiding my own younger peers to build their confidence. The instance I remember most clearly was coaching two grade 9 school girls, who were very shy at the beginning, to being able to deliver a clear and enthusiastic 45 minute tour to a legion of guests by themselves.

Niagara is truly my home, a place where I discovered, developed and tempered my values with experiences that will follow me from now on. Now that I have left, studying at University for a double degree program, I continually find the importance in staying true to one』s self. In times of doubt and confusion, again when the grey fog is thick and heavy, my values have always lead me correctly. I don』t pretend to know the truth, or what is really right or wrong, but I believe in my choices above all else. In the words of Aristotle 「We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.」 The values that I hold true are not a mere act, but instead a definition of my person. Thus our values align not by chance, but because we are alike in many ways.