知家鴿

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你是不是塔利班？

作者：知家鴿於 2009-12-30 07:46 發表於最熱鬧的華人社交網路--貝殼村

通用分類:其它日誌|已有2評論

你如果滿足以下條件，你可能成為一名塔利班：

1。你以種植鴉片販賣海洛因為生，但你覺得道德敗壞的人才飲酒；

2。你有錢買槍，卻沒錢穿鞋；（老中的蜻蜓都穿鞋啦〕

3。你有的老婆比你有的牙還多；

4。你用手來揩屁股，但你覺得紅燒豬肉不潔凈；

5。你只穿兩種馬甲：防彈背心和自殺襲擊用馬甲；（老中穿的馬甲可多啦，上網都有好幾個〕

6。你真不知道你還沒有對誰沒有發動過「聖戰」；

7。你覺得在家看電視不健康，但你覺得身藏炸彈沒危險；

8。你只知道手機是用來引爆地雷的，卻不知道可用來通話'

9。你挺尊重女性的，因為你娶一個老婆不夠，起碼也要有四五個；

（老中有個二奶就覺得了不起了〕

美國南方過去以種植業為主，北方工業發達的地方人們常常稱南方人為Red neck，意指愛抬杠的人。但有些南方的笑星不但不在乎，反而以此為榮。

Jeff Foxworthy 就是其中的一位。下面是一段有關塔利班的脫口秀。

YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."

1.. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.