A DC 'airport ticket agent' offers some examples
of 'WHY' our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol
Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by
being near the window. (On an airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's
(Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information,
and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look
stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''
Without trying to make him
look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts
, Cape Town is in South Africa ..''
His response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie
Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked
what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to
me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!''
(OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife
(Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''
I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the map'' (OMG,
again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet
Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I
pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas
.. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to
save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan
Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that
her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33
a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand the concept of time
zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought
that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold
Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on
your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No,
why do you ask?' He replied, ''Well, when I checked
in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT),
and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!'' After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I
was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno,
CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a
destination tag on his luggage..
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay
Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .. After going
over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?''
9. I just got off the phone with a
freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Alabama who asked, ''How do I know
which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he
meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none
of these planes have numbers on them.''
10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and
said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of
those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to
Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said,
''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11 Mary Landrieu, Louisiana Senator,
called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to
China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that
she needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China
many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure
enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said,
''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my
American Express!''
12 A New Jersey Congressman (John
Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New
York. ''I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you
sure that's the name of the town?'' 'Yes, what
flights do you have?'' replied the man. After
some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up
every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere." ''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows
where it is. Check your map!'' So I
scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean
Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever!
I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the
Government is in the shape it's in!
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO
BREED.