老美看美國： 中國會投票選誰做美國總統？

老美看美國： 中國會投票選誰做美國總統？

文/ 他爹   翻譯/他娘

2012年1月21日

這篇文章會很好玩 — — 但不科學。我想猜猜看，中國政府更希望民主黨還是共和黨入主白宮，為啥？

我首先想到的是中國寧願是民主黨。因為人們看到或相信他們在使用武力或開戰方面更猶豫不決。但是，一旦我想到這裡，我就要提醒自己，民主黨與共和黨實際上站在一起，在對伊拉克和阿富汗開戰問題上投了贊成票。推動了利比亞革命和政變，在巴基斯坦 （入侵巴基斯坦順便不讓他們知道的情況下）追捕本 · 拉丹，在他的房子當著他的妻子的面把他打死了。奧巴馬總統還在中東地區增加"無人駕駛"轟炸，炸死了 1000 多名武裝戰鬥人員以及 — — 比布希總統做過或想做的事有過之無不及。

所以，也許民主黨也終究不是弱不禁風的主。他們也會對貿易和經濟橫挑鼻子豎挑眼，為的是保護美國的就業和工業。他們也喜歡在國際貿易委員會面前懲罰實際的或潛在的經濟威脅。對進口產品課以高壁壘和高關稅---尤其是中國製造的產品。

不， 中國不能投票給民主黨。沒門！

那麼，就是共和黨了。可是，民主黨看上去雖然弱不禁風，但實際上他們在軍事上還是頗有建樹。然而，共和黨總是口吐狂言，舞刀弄棒，他們喜歡威脅多多。但是，縱觀這些總統候選人們，大部分還是挺嚇人的----都 在哪裡咄咄逼人：要增加軍費，買更多的戰機，炸彈，進攻伊朗，挑戰中國。那都是嘴硬，呈口舌之快。共和黨的問題就是他們喜歡在本來就沒有事的時候，把自己 都說的相信了確實有事，說的像真的一樣。這樣，他們就可以生事。這就是為什麼會發生伊拉克戰爭。共和黨已經喋喋不休口吐狂言兩年多了，後來實在無法忍受 了，於是就推動了一場戰爭。戰爭於是爆發了。就像孩子老是吵吵要買玩具，你最終還是滿足了他一樣。問題解決了，對嗎？沒有，他們現在又想要另一個玩具。

那麼，我們真的有麻煩了。如果中國可以投票，會投給誰呢？

如 果我是大陸人，我可能不得不投給民主黨，奧巴馬總統。不是因為他這屆總統做得好，而是因為他是個理性的人。在做出一些重大決定的時候，我不會說共和黨很理 性。事實上，我會說，共和黨很危險，我是說真的！共和黨內有一部分，茶黨，在我看來就是一群瘋子。他們的信仰很離譜，這種信仰居然控制了共和黨兩年。這 就有點像尾巴在搖狗，不是狗在搖尾巴。

我想，最終中國還是會像我認為的大多數的美國人那樣投票給奧巴馬總統。與一個你已經了解的魔鬼打交道好過與一個你不認識的魔鬼打交道。美國相信這點。我想中國也會相信這點。

（原文）

WHO WOULD CHINA VOTE FOR

U.S. PRESIDENT?

This article will be fun – but not scientific. I would like to speculate on which party, Democrat or Republican, the Chinese government would prefer to be in office and why.

My first thought is that China would prefer a Democrat since they are seen or believed to be more hesitant to use military force or start wars. But, as soon as think this I have to remind myself that the Democrats voted for war in Iraq and Afghanistan along with the Republicans, pushed a coup and revolution in Libya and hunted down Osama Bin Laden in his house in Pakistan ( invading Pakistan by the way without letting them know ) and shot him dead in front of his wife. President Obama has also increased 「drone」 strikes and killed over 1000 militant combatants in the middle east as well – far more than President Bush ever did or even dreamed of.

So, maybe the Democrats aren』t such skinny weaklings after all.  They also can be very picky about trade and economics wanting to protect U.S. jobs and industry. They like to punish real or perceived economic threats before the International Trade Commission and put high tariffs and duties on imported products – especially Chinese made products.

NO. China cannot vote for a Democrat. No way!

So, that leaves the Republicans. But, while the Democrats appear weak they actually accomplish a lot militarily. However, the Republicans are always talking tough and carrying a big stick. They like to make a lot of threats and after viewing the Republican candidates for President most of them are just a little bit scary – all that talk about spending more on the military, more planes, bombs, attacking Iran, taking on China and standing up to China. That』s a lot of tough talk. The problem with the Republicans is they have a habit into talking themselves into a fight when there isn』t anyone to fight with. So they start a fight. That』s how Iraq war started. The Republicans had been talking tough for 2 years and finally they just couldn』t stand it anymore – so they pushed for a war. And got it. Just like a little kid who complains so much you finally buy him the newest toy. Problem solved, right ? No. Now they want another toy.

So, now we got a real problem. Who does China vote for ( if they could vote )?

If I was a mainlander I would have to vote for Democrats. President Obama. Not because I think he has been a good President but because I do believe he is reasonable. I can not say that Republicans are reasonable when it comes to important decisions. In fact, I would say the Republicans are dangerous, and I mean it! There is a segment of the Republican party, the Tea Party, that is insane in my opinion. Their beliefs defy gravity and those beliefs have controlled the Republican party the past 2 years. It』s a little bit like the tail wagging the dog.

I think in the end China would vote like I believe most Americans will – for President Obama. There』s a lot of comfort in dealing with the devil you know instead of the devil you don』t. Americans believe this and I think China will too.

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