為什麼女人對男人有很強的防禦感？

Any man who's been in the dating market for some time knows how defensive women can be. They seem to always have a guard up, and it's impossible to break through. What's a guy to do?

（這就是為什麼男人年齡越大就越成熟，而女性喜歡所謂成熟的男人，其實就是因為成熟的男人有對付女人的經驗和技巧。）

It is possible to take her guard down, but it requires patience and tact. Read on to learn why women are defensive against men, and how to change that.

（男人完全有可能將女人的防備感卸掉，但要一定技巧。這是因為女人遠遠比男人複雜，敏感，多疑。任何的細微動作感受在女人那裡都可以放大到幾千倍，而男人則不以為然，感覺莫名其妙。）

Change roles.（角色轉換）

You're a guy, and you want to get with a girl. I understand that, but try looking at the situation from her perspective. You're probably the fifth guy to hit on her that hour. That and you have to realize that women get pushed around by men all the time. Crude remarks, barking, and even sexual abuse are not uncommon against females, so your approach has to make allowances for these possibilities.

（這 樣的遭遇是一個正常的稍有姿色的女人經常遇到的。女性受騷擾，乃至性騷擾的機率是很多男士無法想象的。女性常常被迫的遭受男性莫名其妙的曖昧，直截了當的 戲弄，而她們心裡氣憤可很多時候又沒辦法，唯有習慣之，想開一點，下次不讓男人這麼干。一點點，女人的戒備心就養成了。）

Don't bloat your head.

Men hit on women, and get angry when they're rejected. They call her stuck up, or a variety of derogatory names. Instead, realize that she doesn't have to be flattered by you.（千真萬確的一句話！） If you get rejected, move on to someone else.

（女性不但要被動的接受隨時而來的騷擾，而且當女性稍顯強勢拒絕騷擾男時，男性往往認為這女人太不知抬舉，不懂風情，隨之而來：什麼拜金女，勢力女，暴躁女，無情女，婊子，妓女，等等等等......）

Take it slow.（慢為上策）

Most guys hit on women by flirting immediately, only to get shot down. Realize that she doesn't know you yet, and save the sexual innuendos for when she's more comfortable with you. Instead, introduce yourself, and maybe ask for her opinion on something. With women, slower is better.

（當 一個男人看上一個女人時，說到底就是「性」吸引。以性為目的是男人的天性，是很正常的。但在女人的腦子裡，性往往不是第一步，而是最後的一步。女人較男人 更現實，更感性，更注重相互的感覺和交流。所以，當男人遇到心怡的女人時，千千萬萬不要顯出「我就馬上想跟你上床」的意思，這樣會把所有想跟你真心交往的 女人嚇跑，當然妓女除外。）

Final Thoughts

There are many reasons why women are defensive against men. For one, they're used to getting hit on, but you never know about a girl's past either. Don't move fast like other guys. Instead, treat her gently, and you'll stand a much better chance of dropping her guard. Don't give her a reason to be defensive, and she won't be.　

當男人想追心怡的女人時，溫柔乃是上上策，加上誠懇和有效的溝通。這個溫柔並不一定是言語柔軟，或完全順著女人說話做事，而是要有度。而且男人是應該有堅定口氣，完美的自信。男人可以顯出更open，但不能唐突霸道。

一 年長男性朋友說：「對待女人，要想對待眼鏡蛇一樣。不能輕舉妄動，不能一下子靠得太近，不能直接上前，不能動作過猛；要隨著眼鏡蛇的柔性窺探，要前進不能 顯出後退，非要後退時也要表現得有前進的打算並有策略；要從旁邊緩緩入手，繞過直視的鋒利；如同舞蛇者手中的笛子，以免突然被叨上一口，不但痛，且有 毒」。　

。。。。。。我是覺得他把女人說的太恐怖了，不過這個比喻還比較恰當