倍可親

Why Falling in Love is not True Love?

作者:redbud  於 2009-8-5 06:04 發表於 最熱鬧的華人社交網路--貝殼村

作者分類:靈性生活|通用分類:其它日誌|已有16評論

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Just want to continue what I have discussed before. Well, you have to refer to the concept of ego boundary again. Ego boundary means that an individual find his or her limitation in this world,mainly shaped when an individual was an infant, leading to the realization of one's identity. One have his or her limitation in this world. He has to fight to live.

To state clearly why falling into love is not true love. We have to make clear the concept of love and falling into love or romantic love. When one falls into love, he or she can't control his feeling or even action. His or her heart was captived by so-called love. It seems he or she was bounded by the so-called falling into love or romantic love. He or she may say that I am the slaver of love. However, falling into love or romantic love is not true love. For example, we love our parents or our children but we never fall into love with them. Falling into love is said to be associated with sex. Falling into love can also be formed from only one side. A man or woman can be in the state of falling into love for years even the other side doesn't have any interest in him or her. True love is concerned with mutual trust, responsibility, and more with spiritual growth. With true love, one can control one's action and feeling. True love grows with the philosophy of rationalization. 

Psycologically, falling in love is a feeling occuring when the ego boundary is collapsed. Falling into love is a false feeling of true love. Normally, one has some expectation on extending his or her ego limitation. That kind of expectation is hidden in one's ego. When he or she met someone who can meet his or her expectation, he or she suddenly becomes out of control. They go into an ecstasy state of joy or happiness, leading them into believing that everything is possible with this type of love or that person whom they fallen into love with. They feel that the whole world belongs to them and be under their control. Eventually, they have to come out of this fantasy and find that they still have their own ego-boundary or ego limitation. So, they fall from heaven to earth. 

Several examples can tell this kind of romantic love is the ego boundary collapse. For example, a boy who lacks enough attention from his mother in his childhood may fallen into love with an old woman just because she meets his expectation about mother's love. The ego boundary is collapsed when he meets her. He can loose control of himself. He will do everything for her just to get her attention. If he didn't get this kind of love from one, he may shift to another when he meets the right person. Even a man or woman is married. He or she may still have some expectation unfulfilled. He or she may meet someone who may fulfill his or her expectation. Then the ego-boundary collpsed again. This can explain why some people shift from one to another. Their personality is not mature enough. For this reason, falling into love is a false or fantasy occuring when ego boudary collapse, openning new opportunity for spiritual growth.

This ego boundary theory can also explain why people can fall into love so easily in online world. When people form relationships online, the process of relationship buliding actually has been shortened. In real life, the process of relationship building is slow and based on perception on physical body. However, when people go online, the relationship buiding process becomes purely spiritual. When an individual goes online, he actually opens his spirit to many new possibilities to extend his or her ego boundary. As in the pure spiritual world, relationship building can easily be formed. The process of ego boundary collapse is accelerated. Thus why people can so easily fallen into love online can be easily explained. However, bear in mind that this kind of falling into love is not true love. This can also explain why people can have the psychological dependence on online social networking. The ego boundary collapse process is fast and wide than in the physical world. In another word, the spiritual growth process has been shortened too! Every time the ego boundary is collapsed, the possibility for new spiritual growth is opened. One either extend or shrink his or her ego boundary. 

I am so happy that I found this spirituality and online social networking process!!!!!

Let me shout for joy!!!!!
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發表評論 評論 (16 個評論)

回復 SirCat 2009-8-5 08:22
I am so happy that I found this spirituality and online social networking process!!!!!
Don't ruin both by mixing them together! :)
回復 redbud 2009-8-6 11:08
SirCat: I am so happy that I found this spirituality and online social networking process!!!!!
Don't ruin both by mixing them together! :)
I am not confusing these two!

Have  you even found that many people have abnormal psychological dependence on the social networking site?

I recently was bombarded by emails from a man in this village who desperate for a wife. He definitely has psychological problems. So do many others! I have seen so many psychologically abnormal people on-line, even myself sometimes.
回復 SirCat 2009-8-6 21:07
redbud: I am not confusing these two!

Have  you even found that many people have abnormal psychological dependence on the social networking site?

I recentl
Are you sure your admirer is not the ONE for you? :)

One good thing about being surrounded by psychos is that they constantly remind you: don't be like me! :)

回復 redbud 2009-8-6 21:14
SirCat: Are you sure your admirer is not the ONE for you? :)

One good thing about being surrounded by psychos is that they constantly remind you: don't be l
100% sure he is not the right person! He does not admire me. He is selling himself out.

He can only remind me that I won't marry one like that. And all the others constantly remind me that not the ONE.
回復 SirCat 2009-8-6 22:30
redbud: 100% sure he is not the right person! He does not admire me. He is selling himself out.

He can only remind me that I won't marry one like that. And

As Americans like to say:
You go girl!
:)
回復 redbud 2009-8-6 22:30
SirCat: As Americans like to say:
You go girl!
:)
You go girl?
what does that mean?
回復 SirCat 2009-8-6 22:32
redbud: You go girl?
what does that mean?
搜索一下啊
是好話啊
呵呵
回復 redbud 2009-8-6 22:38
SirCat: 搜索一下啊
是好話啊
呵呵
1. an exclamation of praise; great job; right on; "I just aced my bio exam. You go girl!"
2. phrase of encouragement, used alone

呵呵,學了新詞
回復 SirCat 2009-8-6 22:47
redbud: 1. an exclamation of praise; great job; right on; "I just aced my bio exam. You go girl!"
2. phrase of encouragement, used alone

呵呵,學了
應該是兩種意思都有吧
第二種稍多一些
呵呵
回復 redbud 2009-8-6 22:48
SirCat: 應該是兩種意思都有吧
第二種稍多一些
呵呵
嗯,鼓勵,add oil
回復 戶人 2009-8-7 04:06
Falling into love 就是中文所說的「掉進愛情的陷阱」。這是非理性的一時衝動而已。掉進陷阱的可能有一天會清醒。
True Love就變成有理智的互愛了。是這樣吧?
回復 redbud 2009-8-7 08:56
戶人: Falling into love 就是中文所說的「掉進愛情的陷阱」。這是非理性的一時衝動而已。掉進陷阱的可能有一天會清醒。
True Love就變成有理智的互愛了。是這樣吧?
理解地不錯,一見鍾情、墜入情網、等等是falling into love

true love是冷靜理智的愛
回復 carpe.diem 2009-8-7 13:24
redbud: 理解地不錯,一見鍾情、墜入情網、等等是falling into love

true love是冷靜理智的愛
true love?
回復 redbud 2009-8-8 14:14
carpe.diem: true love?
我想,true love是什麼,你比我更加了解吧,自己肯定經歷過。

我只是紙上談兵而已。
回復 carpe.diem 2009-8-8 17:31
redbud: 我想,true love是什麼,你比我更加了解吧,自己肯定經歷過。

我只是紙上談兵而已。
呵呵,我也在迷惑之中。不妨看看這個,http://my.backchina.com/space-260829-do-blog-id-28002.html
回復 redbud 2009-8-12 06:55
carpe.diem: 呵呵,我也在迷惑之中。不妨看看這個,http://my.backchina.com/space-260829-do-blog-id-28002.html
這兩天想了很多,true love不是指哪一個人,而是愛的本質。沒有一個人可以永遠愛一個人。

墜入情網式的愛和成熟的愛,兩者的區別在於前者往往以自我為中心,而後者以對方的成長為中心。

可以適合一個人的婚姻對象有很多,墜入情網式的愛,也有很多。關鍵在於你選擇什麼樣的人結婚,作出什麼樣的承諾,愛更多是一種行動。

把真愛限制到一個具體的人,是誤解了愛的本質。

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