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Who can understand men?

作者：桑兒  於 2009-4-4 02:32 發表於 最熱鬧的華人社交網路--貝殼村

作者分類:雜七雜八|通用分類:其它日誌|已有41評論

今天和Lisa聊天，一不小心說到了男人，她的嘴巴突然象上了膛的機關槍，竟然也妙語連珠。想了半天，決定還是不翻譯，似乎看原文更過癮一些。
 
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.
The men who are not so hadsome, but are nice men with money, think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are pigs.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!
The men who never make the first move automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW, WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?
 
在她說到we aren't beautiful enough的時候，我說，等一下，等一下，太經典了,待我先把前面的記下來。她也笑了，火氣消了一半，但還是罵了男人是豬。
6

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發表評論 評論 (41 個評論)

回復 練精化氣AAA 2009-4-4 02:34
嚴重同意，男人都是豬。好像有句諺語是這麼說來著
回復 xqw63 2009-4-4 02:37
嚴重抗議，女權主義者。
回復 trump 2009-4-4 02:37
哈哈
The nice men are ugly.
好男人不帥。
The handsome men are not nice.
帥男人不好。
The handsome and nice men are gay.
又帥又好的男人是同性戀。
The handsome, nice and hetero men are married.
又帥又好又不是同性戀的男人都結婚了。
men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money.
不是很帥但是很好的男人卻沒有錢。
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are only
after their money.
不是很帥但是又好又有錢的男人會認為我們看上的是他們的錢。
The handsome men without money are after our money.
而沒有錢但是很帥的男人看上的是我們的錢。
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat
hetero don』t think we are beautiful enough.
不是很好但是很帥又是異性戀的男人卻嫌我們不夠漂亮。
The men who think we are beautiful, that are hetero,
somewhat nice and have money are cowards.
又好又有錢又是異性戀又覺得我們漂亮的男人卻又沒膽量。
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money, and thank God, are hetero are shy and NEVER MaKE THE FIRST MOVE!
又好又帥又有點錢而且是個異性戀的男人偏偏害羞而且從不採取行動。
回復 練精化氣AAA 2009-4-4 02:38
xqw63: 嚴重抗議，女權主義者。
抗啥議呀。你傻呀
回復 homepeace 2009-4-4 02:39
回復 sujie_alex 2009-4-4 02:42
回復 桑兒 2009-4-4 02:44
trump: 哈哈
The nice men are ugly.
好男人不帥。
The handsome men are not nice.
帥男人不好。
The handsome and nice men are gay.
又帥又好的男人是同性戀。
The
謝謝！我也把那幾個字改成capital吧。
回復 xyz000usa 2009-4-4 02:45
又好又有錢又是異性戀又覺得我們漂亮的男人當他們不再害羞而有膽量時身邊卻有好多好多和我們一樣漂亮的女人
回復 一刻中文 2009-4-4 02:45
回復 xqw63 2009-4-4 02:50
練精化氣AAA: 抗啥議呀。你傻呀
沒事就表達一下心聲，知道沒用
回復 nnyycc 2009-4-4 02:57
沒找到自己的座位。麻煩你問問她不好又難看的男人是什麼
回復 homepeace 2009-4-4 02:59
村裡又帥又好又不是同性戀的男人都結婚了。的確！
回復 史無前例 2009-4-4 03:17
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
回復 SirCat 2009-4-4 03:20
聽了半天，得出結論：Lisa既不漂亮又沒錢。
呵呵
回復 ndht 2009-4-4 03:26
How to Make a Woman Happy

> It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
> needs to be:
> 1. a friend  > 2. a companion  > 3. a lover   > 4. a brother
> 5. a father  > 6. a master    > 7. a chef    > 8. an electrician
> 9. a carpenter  > 10. a plumber   > 11. a mechanic > 12. a decorator
> 13. a stylist  > 14. a sexologist  > 15. a gynecologist  > 16. a psychologist
> 17. a pest exterminator > 18. a psychiatrist  > 19. a healer  > 20. a good listener
> 21. an organizer   > 22. a good father  > 23. very clean   > 24. sympathetic
> 25. athletic   > 26. war   > 27. attentive   > 28. gallant
> 29. intelligent    > 30. funny   > 31. creative    > 32. tender
> 33. strong    > 34. understanding  > 35. tolerant   > 36. prudent
> 37. ambitious  > 38. capable  > 39. courageous   > 40. determined
> 41. true  > 42. dependable > 43. passionate   > 44. compassionate
> WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
> 45. give her compliments regularly  > 46. love shopping
> 47. be honest  > 48. be very rich
> 49. not stress her out   > 50. not look at other girls
>
> AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
>
> 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
> 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
> 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she
> goes
>
> IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
>
> 54. Never to forget:
> * birthdays   > * anniversaries   > * arrangements she makes
>

> HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
>
> 1. Show up naked   > 2. Bring food  > 3. Bring Beer
回復 MG-42 2009-4-4 03:31
男人是豬
回復 桑兒 2009-4-4 03:54
nnyycc: 沒找到自己的座位。麻煩你問問她不好又難看的男人是什麼
不可以太刻薄~是人都有長處~~
回復 桑兒 2009-4-4 03:57
SirCat: 聽了半天，得出結論：Lisa既不漂亮又沒錢。
呵呵
她主要是犯了照相時鏡頭裡什麼都要的錯誤~
回復 SirCat 2009-4-4 04:00
桑兒: 她主要是犯了照相時鏡頭裡什麼都要的錯誤~
您是說太貪？那也是。呵呵
估計只要她一旦有了個相好（也同她好）的，所有牢騷會立刻煙消雲散。
呵呵
回復 桑兒 2009-4-4 04:02
ndht: How to Make a Woman Happy

> It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only
> needs to be:
> 1. a friend  > 2. a companion  > 3
這裡的woman和man不是同一個系統的概念哎~
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