【人物】「記得你將很快死去」

「記住你將很快死去」

蘋果教主喬布斯留下未啃完的蘋果回到伊甸園裡去了。

一時間，他的創業傳奇故事和私生活點點滴滴為全世界所津津樂道。

我對這些漠不關心，反而是他在其著名的斯坦福大學演講中關於死亡部分的論述頗得我心：

「Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.」

「記住你即將死去」是我一生中遇到的最重要箴言，它幫我指明了生命中重要的選擇。因為幾乎所有的事情，包括所有的榮譽、所有的驕傲、所有對難堪和失敗的恐懼都已經無關宏旨，會在死亡面前消失，」

若干年前，當喬布斯還是意氣風發躊躇滿志的時候，我曾經寫下我對死亡的思考：

 死亡暢想曲

 Unlike those well-publicized heroes/heroines who have shown the world how courageous they are at the final hours of their lives, I, being a naturally-born coward(I hate to admit that, but, hey, honesty is the best policy, right?), has this inherent, haunting fear for death.

Death is not a stranger to us. Everyday we have witnessed, through our eyes and ears, the cessation of lives everywhere, be it natural deaths in hospitals, unexpected deaths at the scenes of traffic accidents, or unwanted deaths by intentional killings. Yet most of the time we tend to remain calm and indifferent unless there happen to be someone close to us among those dead.

But have you ever, in the course of your life, tried to stop for a moment to ponder very seriously, attentively and vividly upon your own death, which is also inevitable?

I have.

Even when I was a young kid, I would sometimes woke up in the middle of the night, from a nightmare and sprang up from the bed, feeling so genuinely that the final second of my life had come. An unspeakable and uncontrollable feeling of fear would suddenly soaked my whole body and soul, and I would tremble, sweat, panicked, and my young heart would cry out. 「Oh, no!」

Of course this feeling would not last long, and the fear would eventually subside and diminish, as I conscientiously persuaded myself: 「Come on, guy, it is still a long way to go!」 or 「Perhaps medical miracles would happen before that!」 or something of similar effect. Then I would lie down, smoothen out my irregular breath, and resume my nightmare again.

Strangely such close-to-death experience has proved to be quite educating and enlightening though. It has helped me to understand the accidental nature of birth, the inevitability of death and the triviality of our existence.

To be more accurate, it is not the fear for the death itself, for the moment the death takes place, it is the fear for being pronounced dead. The fear arises rather from our sad knowledge that OUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED! And I believe the capital punishment of a criminal is not so much in the moment of execution as in the days after the announcement of his death penalty.

Now that I have grown up into a man and my mind has been bothered more by our day-to-day routines, yet this haunting fear for death has mockingly remained at the backdoor of my heart. I would still wake up in a dark or stormy night, suddenly sit up and feel, 「I am dying…, I am dying…」

Of course, in addition to this unfailing fear, I have also more to ponder now, such as:

To whom should my secret bank accounts be entrusted?

When and where should my reincarnation take place?

To be a woman or to be a man?

Etc., etc.,…….

So, my dear readers, upon finishing this article, do spend a couple of minutes to ponder upon your own death in every possible detail, and let us enjoy sharing our common fear for my death….or YOURS!

人類對死亡有一種無奈的恐懼，因而對此話題諱莫如深，好像死亡只與他人有關，或者是一件十分遙遠虛無縹緲的事情。其實，只有死亡才是人類生活中唯一可以絕對確認的一件事。每一條生命都將以某種形式或早或遲結束---或死於非命（如被泰國毒販殺害的中國船員），或死於絕症（如喬布斯），或壽終正寢（如蔣介石）。

對本我的生命而言，過去的每一天，每一刻，每一秒已經毫無意義。從時間的長河來看，短命與長壽也毫無根本區別。

有人認為，活得精彩，或享盡榮華富貴，或贏得功名，或留下寶貴遺產（包括精神文化遺產），生命就有了意義。

真的嗎？

喬布斯活得夠精彩，名利雙收，也留下了寶貴的科技遺產。他那已經終結的生命，對還活著的他者有意義。而對喬布斯本我的生命，已經毫無意義。

我要對喬布斯說，

「記住你已經死去。」

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