什麼樣的女人最成功：伽瑪女孩的崛起

白露為霜注：幾天前奧巴馬總統提名珍妮特-耶倫(Janet Yellen)成為新任的聯儲局主席。如果順利就職她將成為擔任這個職務的第一位女性。這位行將成為全球最有影響力的人在年輕的時候是什麼樣的呢？我做了一些快速查詢，結果不出所料…

家有女兒的人都知道，美國長大的十來歲的女孩生活在一個古怪的并行宇宙里，同自己長大的經歷完全不一樣。在學業上的壓力也許小一點，可在社交方面的壓力一點也不小。學校里嚴格的等級制度有時壓的人喘不過氣來。女孩在青少年社會中擔任的角色對其一生有重大的影響。可哪種女孩子最成功呢？是風頭出足的人氣女孩還是被人嘲笑的書蟲女？答案可能讓你吃驚。本文是小女兒小寶在高中時為一家英文報紙寫的專欄，發表於2007年。

伽瑪女孩的崛起

同伴壓力，小集團和社會統一化(social conformity)是十幾歲的女孩子每天都要面對的問題。有人也許會這樣宣稱，「我不在乎別人怎麼看」，但每個人都有一種潛意識的聲音在問，「他/她們會怎樣想？」那麼這種本能又是從哪裡來的呢？每個人都天生具備社會意識的聲音嗎？其實，這些本能並不是天生的，而是由父母孕育，環境塑造，並在全國的學校里強制執行。在她2003年出版的《蜂后和崇拜者》(Queen Bees and Wannabes)，作者懷斯曼(Rosalind Wiseman)詳細介紹了不同女孩在青少年社會裡所擔任的角色。它為成年人了解初中高中少女的奇異世界提供了有價值的視角。

有些女孩子一輩子都在試圖成為受歡迎的，卻一直做不到。她們在人氣女孩(popular girl)周圍徘徊試圖引起她們的注意和接受，往往是無功而返。她們一直停留在「貝塔」(Beta)，或'崇拜者'的位置動彈不得。

有些女生對自己是否受歡迎並不關心，更願意把時間花在思考自己的前途而不是自己的服裝上。她們在學業上以及體育，音樂等課外活動中表現出色。有些人甚至喜歡自己的父母。這些就是所謂的「伽瑪」(Gamma)女孩。

最後是學校的統治者，又被稱為「阿爾法女孩」(Alpha)，「人氣女孩」，或者「蜂后」。這些阿爾法被視為金字塔的頂端，是每個女孩的努力方向。但她們又是怎樣爬到這個位子的呢？當然，有些人和善可愛，風趣幽默，漂亮氣質佳，成為「人氣女孩」名符其實。但也有人爬上去靠的是背後捅刀子，散布閑言碎語，成為惡毒的女孩(mean girls)。她們靠著警覺，謊言，和手段惡劣來維持自己的地位。

然而儘管阿爾法在中學里很成功，她們好像很少在成年人的世界里爬得很高。不管她們是多麼愛出風頭，這些阿爾法女孩最終在以後的生活中被她們書獃子伽瑪同學壓的粉碎。但是為什麼會這樣的呢？難道成人社會不是與青少年社會大同小異嗎？統領學校的「社交花蝴蝶」在長大后不是照樣會被加冕為女王嗎？

但事實上阿爾法女孩很少在職場有突出表現。紐約時報文章「惡意，卑劣，和失蹤」( Mean, Nasty and Missing)聲稱，爬到頂部的阿爾法女孩似乎要麼被開除了（惠普的Carly Fiorina），要麼進了監獄（瑪莎·斯圖爾特，Martha Stewart )。更多的前阿爾法做著平庸的工作或者壓根兒就不工作。

阿爾法女孩在長大后玩消失並不完全令人驚訝。在學校里她們忙於衣服，容貌，男孩，受歡迎程度等瑣碎的追求。她們中很少有人進了一流的大學或有個嚴肅的職業。許多人早早結婚，成為全職媽媽，照顧她們的阿爾法丈夫和阿爾法孩子。其他大部的時光都花在非生產性的事情上。

伽瑪女孩似乎做得更好。這些人在學校里是老師的寵物，書獃子，學生會主席，全校第一(valedictorians)，在社會圖騰柱的位置處於阿爾法女孩的下面。然而在成人世界中，她們卻完成了驚天大翻轉。伽瑪女孩的努力使她們進入好的大學和主修有份量的專業。後來，她們成了專業人士，公司主管，或者老闆，那些在中學里讓她們吃足苦頭的女孩卻在手下打工，這是回報的時候了。

賴斯(Condoleezza Rice)，希拉莉(Hillary Clinton)和佩洛西(Nancy Pelosi)只是伽瑪女孩的一些代表。紐約時報唯一的女性社論作家Maureen Dowd是這樣評論的，「希拉莉·柯林頓在白宮的時候像是一個阿爾法，但在參議院卻更像一個伽瑪。南希·佩洛西在眾議院只是一個帶著鞭子的伽瑪。」 如今南希是眾議院議長，康迪是國務卿，希拉莉是一個有競爭力的總統候選人，2007的確是伽瑪女孩標誌性的一年 (註：文章是2007年寫的，後來賴斯漸退出政壇，回到斯坦福教書；佩洛西成為眾議院少數派領袖；希拉莉在擔任過國務卿后正雄心勃勃地準備2016年總統選舉)。
 
受歡迎的確有很多好處，但獲取它的代價不菲。對許多女孩來說，成為人氣女以及保持這種地位成了她們的全職工作。長遠而言，成功的阿爾法女生並不多見。另一方面，伽瑪女孩卻將眼睛盯著更大的獎品，把精力集中在更重要的事情，比如學習上，這使她們以後的生活中有一種後勁。也許我們應該停止養育對體重痴迷，對人氣發瘋的阿爾法女孩，轉而鼓勵她們成為伽瑪女孩。

阿爾法女孩在中學里風光無限，但伽瑪女孩才是比賽的最終贏家。這是初中和高中里的一個很少人知道的秘密。

白露為霜注：聯儲局主席候選人耶倫在高中時是校報的主編，她又是全校第一(valedictorian)，不折不扣的書蟲女。她在校報的一篇文章里談到自己對礦石和旅行的熱愛。後來她以優異成績在布朗大學畢業(summa cum laude或「最高榮譽」)，並獲得耶魯大學經濟學博士。

在男人世界里混，走得遠的女人還是要靠真本事。旁門左道也許一時有效，終難成大事。

前國務卿康迪-賴斯的高中照片

The Rise of Gamma Girls

Peer pressure, cliques and social conformity are just some of problems that teenage girls have to face every day. No matter how much one may claim, 「I don』t care what others say,」 everyone has a subconscious voice that says, 「What will the Joneses think?」 Where do these instincts come from? Is everyone born with a society-conscious inner voice? Actually, these instincts are not born, but bred by their parents, shaped by the environment and enforced in schools throughout the country. In her 2003 book 「Queen Bees and Wannabes」, Rosalind Wiseman detailed the different social roles girls play in adolescent society. It provides valuable insights into the parallel universe of teenage girls.

Some girls spend their whole lives trying to become popular, and never quite make it. They hover around the popular girls trying to get their attentions and acceptance, often without success. They stay stuck in their beta, or 『wannabe』 position.

Some girls don』t care much about popularity; spend time thinking about their futures rather than their clothes. They do well in school and in extra-curriculum activities such as music and sports. Some may even like their parents. These are the so called the gamma girls.

And then, there are the rulers of the school: the alpha girls, a.k.a. 『popular girls』 or 『queen bees』. These alphas are looked up to as the top of the pyramid, what every girl strives for. But how did these girls get up there in the first place? True, some are nice, funny, pretty, and really deserve to be popular. But others got up there by backstabbing, gossiping, and by being mean girls. They stay popular with a mixture of vigilance, lies, and nastiness.

However, despite the early success of alphas in school, it seems like that few of them ever make it to the top in the adult world. No matter how pushy they are, these alpha girls end up being crushed by their nerdy gamma peers later on in life. But why? Isn』t adult society very much the same as the teenage one, the same 『social butterflies』 that reigned at school would still be crowned ladies as adults?

The fact is that few alphas are prominent in the job world. New York Times article 「Mean, Nasty and Missing」 claimed, the alpha girls who make it to the top seem to always end up fired (Carly Fiorina of HP) or in jail (Martha Stewart). And many former alphas are working at mediocre jobs or not working at all.

The disappearing of alphas in adult world is not entirely surprising. In school, they were distracting themselves with trivial pursuits of clothes, looks, boys and popularity. Few of them got into good colleges and had a serious career. Many of them married early and became stay-at-home moms, taking care of their alpha husbands and alpha kids. The rest of their lives were spent doing rather unproductive things.

Gammas seemed to have done better. These girls were teacher』s pets, bookworms, class presidents, valedictorians, underneath the alpha girls on the social totem pole. But in the adult world, they somehow managed to flip the hierarchy over. Gamma girls worked hard in school which enabled them to go into top universities and take a serious major. Now, they are the professionals and bosses of the company, and the girls who once made their lives miserable are working for them. It』s payback time.

Condoleezza Rice, Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi are just some of representatives of gamma girls. According to Maureen Dowd, New York Times』 the only female editorialist, 「There was Hillary Rodham Clinton, who was an alpha at the White House but acts more like a gamma in the Senate. In the House, Nancy Pelosi is just a gamma with a whip.」 Now with Nancy as the speaker of the House, Condi as the Secretary of State and Hillary as a leading presidential candidate, 2007 is indeed a banner year for gamma girls.

Being popular does have many perks, but it also comes with high price tag. For many girls, becoming and staying popular are their full-time job. In long run, successful alpha women are really few and far between. On the other hand, gamma girls have their eyes on larger prizes and focus their energy on something that is more important, like learning; this gives them an edge later in life. Perhaps it is a good idea to stop raising kids to be weight-obsessed and popularity-crazy alphas, rather, encourage them to become gammas.

Alpha girls get all the attentions, but gamma girls are the ultimate winners of the race. This is the best kept secret of middle and high school.