工作一周,頭昏眼花,周末回家,卸下馬甲,一起爬梯吧!
先來一首Shania Twain的勁歌《Honey, I』m Home!》。就讓她代替我唱了吧!先來陣狂舞,看喜歡不?不喜歡?那就看下面我寫的笑話。這笑話是俺的原創,靈感來自於和老公的一通電話。看看能否逗你開心?
在家當領導的這個擔子不是那麼容易的,一早起來要想著今晚全家吃什麼?這裡的全家聽著嚇人,實際上就咱倆。狗狗一日三餐吃他的那個三文魚口味的狗糧,也不嫌膩味?本來想好做雞湯的,要把雞解凍,找了半天沒找到。上班后打個電話給老公問:「老公啊,我想今天晚上做雞湯喝,怎麼找了半天沒有啊?我昨天不是讓你買來著,怎麼,你沒買你的小雞雞呀?」說完,老公在電話那頭放聲大笑,說我三俗附體了,我也忍不住哈哈大笑。好笑之餘,突然發現這個字不能隨便多加也不能隨便少加。加了以後,意思可大相徑庭啊。上面就是一個例子啊。再來,如果我要給別人介紹我家的小弟,你只能講小弟,不能介紹這是我的小弟弟,是吧?如果你要向老公撒嬌說「老公,我今天特累人,給我捶捶背!」。那你可能不能亂加字,說「老公公,我今天特累,給我捶捶背」. 哈哈
還有啊,有些該發二字的,少一個也不行啊。你看,這一天曉紅攙著她的爺爺奶奶到朋友家開party,她給別人介紹這是我的爺爺,這是我的奶奶,可是曉紅從小就有毛病,雙重字的第二個字她發不清楚,於是就變成了:「這是我的爺,這是我的奶!」尷尬!可能還有其他很多,希望大家踴躍參與,我嘛,拋磚引玉,表砸磚!
好了,有沒有開心,沒有?那給你來段鋼琴吧,看看這個年輕的鋼琴王子李雲迪演奏紅歌是否讓你回到那個時代呢?
想必你一定很開心,讓你看點更開心的,一群帥鍋美女來段優美的踢踏舞,好過癮的。還有一段最精彩的狗狗視頻。你一定會哈哈大笑的。
上面的都不喜歡,那就自個兒倒酒喝吧,喝醉你拉倒!哈哈
"Honey, I'm Home"歌詞
The car won't start-it's falling apart
I was late for work and the boss got smart
My pantyline shows-got a run in my hose
My hair went flat-man, I hate that
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse
I realized I forgot my purse
With all this stress-I must confess
This could be worse than PMS
This job ain't worth the pay
Can't wait 'til the end of the day
Honey, I'm on my way
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Honey, I'm home and I had a hard day
Pour me a cold one and oh, by the way
Rub my feet, gimme something to eat
Fix me up my favorite treat
Honey, I'm back, my head's killing me
I need to relax and watch TV
Get off the phone-give the dog a bone
Hey! Hey! Honey, I'm home!
I broke a nail opening the mail
I cursed out loud 'cause it hurt like hell
This job's a pain-it's so mundane
It sure don't stimulate my brain
This job ain't worth the pay
Can't wait 'til the end of the day
Honey, I'm on my way
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Honey, I'm home and I had a hard day
Pour me a cold one and oh, by the way
Rub my feet, gimme something to eat
Fix me up my favorite treat
Honey, I'm back, my head's killing me
I need to relax and watch TV
Get off the phone-give the dog a bone
Hey! Hey! Honey, I'm home!
Oh, rub my neck will you
Honey, I'm home and I had a hard day
Pour me a cold one and oh, by the way
Rub my feet, gimme something to eat
Fix me up my favorite treat
Honey, I'm back, my head's killing me
I need to relax and watch TV
Get off the phone-give the dog a bone
Hey! Hey! Honey, I'm home!
I'm home, that feels much better