i concur. the first 30 years of new china was what should be called the period of growing pain for a reborn young nation with one of oldest cultures on this planet. we have very long, rich and unique history, but it also comes with incredible complicated and heavy cultural and historical burdens. you just can't erase the history and start it from fresh. we were all together for the pains of that period; it was the period of growing process.
what about those lived through the period of european dark ages? what about those millions died in the persecutions of waves by waves of religious "movement" in the early history of europe?
to me, clear and simple, china would be always my motherland. she is a part of me and i am a part of her, good and bad. actually i do believe the early part of the history of the new china is the most valuable part of life experience for the journey of my life.
i still have faith for the leadership of ccp. it made mistakes, but it has demonstrated that it has an unwavering determination to build up china as independent nation, hold china together in a very hostile environment. no one would give china anything for free.
You don't need feel any kind of guilty.The times are different but the country remains the same. Living a life just like passing all sorts of tests.You did it. Keep it to yourself or tell the story to your later generation.Hopefully they are happy and not going to blame you.