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標題: If you need my help. [列印本頁]

作者: Elex    時間: 2004-8-12 23:50
標題: If you need my help.
I'm good at written English.
If someone has written an original piece and would like to recieve comments, post here or email to me at elexun@hotmail.com.
I'll post the piece and my observations here, if there is something interesting.
作者: 平安貝兒    時間: 2004-8-13 05:40
Great, that what i want for a long time!

see the following post pls and thank you very much!
作者: 平安貝兒    時間: 2004-8-13 05:49
標題: You
YOU

When I turned on the Green Sleeves again, your voice came with the music. Can you believe, Ann, you are the only one I love so much, since last life, would not finish next life…

You go straightly into my heart, like a thread of wind, bringing me the message of Autumn. Suddenly the leaves turns golden and it is cool...

Swallows come and go. Open the window for the rainbow, I know, you want me to go with you...

Winter is the season that green grass falls into sleep. You tell me the story about sea, about the love between the two fish. Life is not easy. I have to stay.

You leave me without any farewell. Tears are in my heart, I cannot tell you.

I am looking forward for your coming back, as swallows bringing me the fragrant of Spring, then the flowers in my heart will blossom. But, but I know, you will never come…
作者: 平安貝兒    時間: 2004-8-13 06:04
i will greatly appreciate your help!
作者: Elex    時間: 2004-8-13 08:51
標題: Nice piece. What do u want me to do?
There is nothing to comment.
作者: Elex    時間: 2004-8-13 08:53
標題: If you have your original piece,
I'd love to learn and discuss...
作者: newsphinx    時間: 2004-8-13 16:41
標題: We need your help!!!
Dear Elex,
Our management office are desperately needed your help  to decide if we should give one of our employees a raise. Please see the letter from the employee below:-

To the Management,
Subjuct: RAISE IN SALARY DEMANDED

I,the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

I am looking forward to your respones.
T.P.

We are looking forward to dear Elex's objective comments. If we do not hear from you in 3 days, we have to determine a result without your comments inevitably.

Best Regards
The Management
作者: newsphinx    時間: 2004-8-13 17:37
Whatever I write or post is just for fun. I hope I didn't upset or confront anyone here, if I did ,I beg your pardon.
作者: Elex    時間: 2004-8-13 20:35
標題: Dear Mr. Dickhead,
(Sorry, no offense, but dick is the subject of your message, right?)

Dear Mr. ScrewEverything,

First, a correction:
(Dear Elex,
Our management (office are desperately needed) IS IN DESPARATE NEED OF YOUR WISDOM TO HELP) decide if we should give one of our employees...)

Now, my advise is, instead of raise, fire this guy immediately - who wants to pay to be screwed! Even a whore has to be PAID!

Hope it's not you - what a job!

Yours truly,

Elex   
作者: 平安貝兒    時間: 2004-8-13 21:58
nothing to say...
作者: jcais    時間: 2004-8-13 23:05
although i like jokes and riddles, but some of the jokes should be posted to the other board, not really this board.
作者: Elex    時間: 2004-8-13 23:09
標題: Sorry about that,
I didn't start it.
But let's indulge in some sense of humor.
A good laugh is hard to come by.
作者: jcais    時間: 2004-8-14 00:09
i'm ok with all the jokes so far, kinda like them.
however, our ban-zhu BELLE is a young lady, she may not like it.
better don't piss her off.
作者: Elex    時間: 2004-8-14 10:51
標題: puns
..funny thing is, the thing claims to work HARD, but can't lift itself, and has to ask for a RAISE. hehehe...
作者: newsphinx    時間: 2004-8-14 16:40
hey, where are all the sense of humour? If Mr.Dick doesn't please you, it can also be Mr. Coalminer though.
I didn't write any coarse words in this board in the first place,I try to state the contrast of being implicited and explicited all along, I understand this board is called oversea... I thought it must be no taboo, diversity welcome or what not, besides, the board seems a bit quiet that I just try to boost and ripple it up, however this is my way to support the board.
let's cut to the chase:
The management has worked the decison out with all the useful info from different objective aspects about mr. T.P.'s demand, due to the picketing, at this point, If we should post the result or not.
It is up to you to decide.
作者: Elex    時間: 2004-8-14 17:58
標題: Let's shake hands

作者: newsphinx    時間: 2004-8-15 16:49
標題: Give me five, then.
all right, dude, like they said, no discord, no concord, It is about time you should improvise something post to this board....something for a good laugh.
作者: Adelyn    時間: 2004-8-24 09:55
標題: you are not funny!
your english is lousy and i don't see much humor there either. to put it bluntly, the joke about p- is disgusting.
作者: newsphinx    時間: 2004-8-24 17:13
understood




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