前事不忘，後事之師。如果我現在還會想要回去定居，那我就是白活了。我出來十
多年一直沒想到要回去看看。甚至小堂妹出國短期進修，繞道來見我還撂下「該回
去看看叔叔嬸嬸」的重話，我也無動於衷。叔叔是位德高望重、醫學上精益求精的
醫生。我從小離開父母，叔叔和嬸嬸視我如同己出，對我情深義重，在國內好多次
把我從病重、或庸醫誤診的危險情況下救回來。於情於理，我都應該回去看看他們。
可是，國內的那段經歷刻骨銘心，使我心如靜水。一晃又過去了三年，內子實在熬
不住了。雖然她已把母親接來同住，可是國內還有兩位兄弟，同我也是親如兄弟。
所以，於2001年，便帶母攜子先回去看看。第一次的代價不菲，在遊覽北京時，護
照，錢包，數碼相機都被竊了。我隨後同大女兒也回去會合。由於離開太久，腸胃
對國內的衛生習慣已經不適應。在游桂林時，一次拉肚子整得我夠嗆。第一次回去
的最大感觸就是看到門前的松樹已經長到有五層樓高了。時光流逝，一個人在某個
一定時間裡也只能生活在一個地方。那就應該選擇最適合自己和家庭生活的地方。
對於國內絕大多數人，我也體諒他們沒有別的選擇。可是，如果他們有機會，我相
信他們也會爭取的。更何況象我這樣本來就不是國內長大的人，而且，國內人也沒
把我當自己人，為什麼還要賠上自己的一生，跟著他們去探索走符合中國國情的
社會主義道路呢？作者: bloodog 時間: 2005-5-25 09:00
我感興趣的是您修的博士是什麼專業？不是家政專業吧？作者: huiyunwang 時間: 2005-5-25 09:59
說的有理，為人要講恕道。作者: henryai 時間: 2005-5-25 13:32
The people u've assumed seem to be begger on the streets. However, those people are even more popular in big apple, or some ghettos in the states. Gun shots everyday there in niggar communities too. U aussie really have a better life, right?作者: scotty 時間: 2005-5-26 02:47 標題: back or stay I think the complain from this lady is understandable. I am staying in US, I agree with most of her points. It is true that the whole environment is better outside. It is much easier to have good pay and live easy life by staying if you can find a good job here. I am doing high tech job with good pay, I agree that life here in US is better than China. But going back is not bad choice if you have no position here. That maybe the reason why so many friends spoke out taking this lady as a weak one. But to be honest, personal happiness roots from your feeling, not all about money, although money is important. This discussion makes me think that China may have quite alot "haigui", but their quality may not as good as those people think. But I would say, don't take those people back as typical examples. I believe those people who survive well would stay in outside as always. No one is stupid to go back China if one can make good money out of current life and enjoy the work one is doing. China really need to come outside and dig back good people instead of waiting them back, I would say the work I am doing is valuable to China, but untill someone come to me and get me back with competitive condition, I would give up and let them pick out like this after going back.作者: scotty 時間: 2005-5-26 02:49 標題: back or stay .作者: scotty 時間: 2005-5-26 07:14 標題: back or stay I admire those people singing "I will go back for loving my country". But in this discussion thread, they missed the point, it is not about if you love your country or not. If you are treated as trash like that lady (let's assume she does have good skills first), it is better consider if it is worth it. We are not entity living in empty air, we are just normal people willing to have normal life. If we have ability that could possiblely be abused like the lady faced. I cannot tell what is the reason to be stupidly singing "I love serving China, although she doesn't need me" Only when we are ready to feel the pain of individuals, we can feel the pain of a country. I am not saying we should not serve our country, I am saying if we cannot have a channel to make this happen, why should we be distressed like this? In that sense, better not going back. Of course, if you are a pure philosopher, living in the spirits of all-goods, I am not against you, do anything crazy as you want! 8-)作者: 五瓣丁香 時間: 2005-5-26 07:45
講一個故事：
在我兒子學校去洛杉磯化石館學習的時候，我去做義務者（在我兒子的小學校，孩子的家長沒個學年要做夠至少十個小時的義務者）。來到美國以後，我們是屬於那種被加州政府划入的年收入在13萬美金以下的低收入家庭，我們上不起私立小學，可是這一次的義務者真得給我的感觸很深。原本我兒子所在小學校是一所洛杉磯top10的小學校，一直因為對美國的教育體制不是很了解而自認為這所學校還不錯（自從我們來到美國以後，周圍的人都是這麼認為的），可是通過這一次的義務者，我覺得我不得不推翻我以前的想法以至於周圍人們強加給我的許多有關公立學校多麼多麼好的觀念。
那一天碰到了很多學校在博物館學習，可是就在我們在館外遊園的時候，看到了兩支隊伍。當時真的是眼前一亮，看看那些孩子的精神面貌，再看看那些孩子的舉止行為，再看看那些孩子的著裝行李，噢，我明白了，這是一群私立學校的孩子，而且是清一色的白人孩子。我和我兒子的老師討論起了關於兩個學校的差異。老師告訴我：私立學校的孩子他們從小接受的教育體制和公立學校完全是不同的。他們也許從這個時候就知道將來自己可以上那一所大學，大學畢業可以做到哪一級的職位，拿到多少錢的薪水。 他們將來所有的道路實際上在他們一出生就鋪好了，那是因為他們的家長有很高的經濟基礎為他們做保障，而他們的家長在自己小的時候一切又都是和他的孩子是同樣的，是孩子的爺爺給孩子的父親打好了這一切基礎，祖祖輩輩在沒有萬一的情況下，他們會一直處於這個良性循環之中。可惜我們這些 ，美國的少數民族的孩子，不知要付出多少倍的努力也許還是不能到人家這種地
步。
我是一個堅定不移的回國主義者，也許國內有很多不如意，可是像這位女博士所的那樣我覺得是過了。
我是一個堅定不移的回國主義者，國外的好是人家的自己的，而不是你的。
我是一個堅定不移的回國主義者，自己的祖國才是自己幹事業的地方，是自己展拳腳的地方。因為我不想在國外永遠做替別人擦槍磨劍的 人。
我是一個堅定不移的回國主義者，也許將來會碰到很多不如意，可是我有信心做得很好。
我就在最近已經作了一個重大的決定，我會在今年年底回國。我不敢談論我有多愛國，可是最起碼我知道子不嫌母醜。國內的很多種種不如意，也許會撲面而來，但我會把它當作一種挑戰。有許多不願意回國的中國朋友對我說：你回去回不適應的，他們說了種種諸如空氣質量差，人際複雜等等同我們這位女博士說得一樣。可是我不相信我會不適應，因為我從小就在那樣的環境里長大。我國內的教育就那麼可怕，因為我們就是中國教育出來的。我還不相信人與人之間的誠信真得不如國外。我更不相信我將來的收入吃不起排骨，哈哈。
凡事在人為。一個人的做人的態度會決定你很多。我沒有鴻鵠之志，可我就喜歡挑戰。看來我是不能聽從這位女博士的勸告了。作者: chickenrun8 時間: 2005-5-26 08:33
Meat is expensive in terms of ave income of those live in mainland; reason is because the feed of those animals are in the international market, and it is going up all the way... so if you can turn mud into feeding, then you should go back to china to set the factory up and sell to the world, then meat will go down. Oh I forgot, mud is a resource tooo, Rock is cheap and enough to turn into food for everyone!作者: chickenrun8 時間: 2005-5-26 08:38
To:五瓣丁香 05/26/05, 07:45
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人生苦短，天天的抱怨這兒，那兒，太不划算了。及時行樂吧。作者: xhs22 時間: 2005-5-26 23:08
有本事在什麼地方都能過好，是金子在什麼地方都會發光。不出力想要錢，等天上掉餡餅吧作者: 草帽 時間: 2005-5-26 23:13
[:807:] 意浮先生,您個人可能對共產黨有私人恩怨,我很體諒你那不幸的遭遇,但我更替您難過的是為什麼您會寫中文?,那裡是您的安樂窩您就應該該安分守己的實用他們的文化他們的文字才對,怎麼還有勞您的雙手這麼辛苦的打一大堆中文發表您的意見?還有,既然您年紀以大把了,何苦再去中國受罪?還是在您的國家,享受輕福不是更好,何苦到這兒操您哪分心,省得讓您傷心又傷肝?..既然您老人家住在那麼好的國家,何不把您的那些親戚也帶到您哪國家去何苦讓您的那些親戚受冤枉罪?作者: 不解風情 時間: 2005-5-27 01:35
言過其實，葉落歸根作者: xiaohu 時間: 2005-5-27 02:06
總有人嫌國內與海外華人的矛盾不深，妄加挑撥，哀其不幸。
這個所謂女博士雖有苦衷，卻也太給咱海外華人丟臉，怒其不爭。
既然選擇了，牙掉了也要往肚裡咽，別抱怨，埋頭努力巴，誰都不容易。作者: ruqh 時間: 2005-5-27 02:55
I totally agree what Fuss say. I want my son has a simple happy life too. It does not matter where he lives, or whether he can or can not speak Chinese. I just want he be a happy healthy boy. That is good enough.作者: scotty 時間: 2005-5-27 04:41 標題: back or stay Some one upstairs pick up a few senstences out from my post, trying to show his/her different views to this problem. I would say: I agree with what you said. But you might misunderstand what i am saying.
First, I am not trying to say that SOMEONE BETTER COME TO PICK ME is the right way to be considered as "skilled worker". What I am trying to say is most smart people have their good way to live here, they should not take risks to go back like the lady in this discussion.
Second, I am sure the work I am doing is not replaceable easily like you said, otherwise i cannot be called expert. right? Into this part, I have confidance, because the work I do is leading serveral famous US University in a US goverment project. At least, the whole idea in the project is orginated from me. This goes back to people that give two goals in one's life: if you enjoy what you are doing, keep doing it, why give up? If you cannot find where you are, loser can still be a loser. It is not all just about money, I stay in University earning less money otherwise in industry, but I like what I am doing, that is good enough for me. I have no reason to try to sell myself back to China that I am good at this and that, trying to make them give a offer out of my lecture. that is stupid. that is what I mean that those who went back really not good examples of staying here. China should not take those people getting back and think "Haigui" that way. They should really come out to and see the real image.
Third, I don't want to involve to the discussion of if China is good or bad, US is good or bad. Those are dangerious way to think. If you can cut the line just based on this. You missed the point of real life. If you can live happy and every one can do the same to live the same way by working hard and get real life out of life. No matter where you stay, you contribute to this splendid world. Right?作者: Againsttime 時間: 2005-5-27 04:50
我說說我的看法：
看，我也弄了個錯字，故意沒改，只是說明錯字是正常的，有不是寫學術論文。又一個錯字，不改了。作者: scotty 時間: 2005-5-27 06:24 標題: back or stay Why not get green card and go back? In that way, it is better to have two ways to choose, definitely a mistake. Walking without seeing is dangerous! Wish this lady good luck in China pot! 8-)作者: 花琴詩劍 時間: 2005-5-27 06:50
腸子悔青的那位女士，有一點你搞錯了，你回來不應該是向祖國所取物質生活的優化，你當初回國的
人有自己的選擇，如果在國內生活的不好，就不要回來了，空談什麼愛國是沒有意義的。
人可以為信仰或者為生存而活著，誰也不能剝奪別人選擇的權利。作者: scotty 時間: 2005-5-27 09:07 標題: back or stay If we always try to judge good or bad based on race and inside a country, we, as human being, will never be happy. China went through last history and have strong concentration in people for a common cause. This is good thing, but we should be able to sit down and think this "back or stay" issue in a broader way. Don't just get happy when some one says China is good, while sad when US is stronger. Just as all we agreed, this is not the point, the point is if you work hard and enjoy your life. Why bother to think if you are serving this country or that one. If US have conditions to allow us perform well, even it is tough, we stay. If China have conditions too, we can go back. Forget about those stories, trying to dig out which is better between two different countries. US and China are both great countries, they have different path to fight human being a good life, let them keep going. No matter where, if you live happy, keep enjoying it.作者: cdhleiming 時間: 2005-5-27 09:58
其實這些都是事實,我不知道的是為什麼國人還要自欺欺人!並不只是海歸才有這種想法,如果大家能多去了解一些國外的東西,你會發現很多的差距(我們一直抱怨外國不了解中國,那我們對別人又有多少了解呢?)!作者: tigerzyx 時間: 2005-5-27 10:15
我認為回國創業還差不多，要是打工就沒什麼意思了。
