新澤西的 John Talerico 說:爭吵,不是個輸贏的問題。即使贏了,卻損失了愛和尊重,不是好的結果。寬容,才是正確的途徑。
原文:Arguing is not a matter of winning or losing. Winning at the expense of love and respect is not the solution.The solution is forgiveness.
感慨:紅樓夢裡的鳳姐認為,夫妻間「不是東風壓倒西風,就是西風壓倒東風。「 美國獨立宣言說:「人人生而平等「;而提倡鬥爭哲學的毛太祖,卻很欣賞鳳姐的這句話。看來,東西方文化確有不同。統治,還是平等?做勝利者,還是做合作者?
密西根的 Augic Gessert Jr. 說:為神馬每一樁婚姻里都會有爭吵呢?我結婚 60 年了,並且我知道一些該如何做,才能跟太太有良好的關係。當我們有分歧的時候,我就停下來,想一想:這事兒重要嗎?如果不,我就算了;如果重要,講一點自己的理由,然後,到此為止,不去吵架。結果就是:我們在愛和親吻中,始終和睦相處。
原文:Why should there be fights in every marriage? I've been married 60 years, and I know something about having a good relationship with a wife. When we have a disagreement, I stop and thinking, is this something that is important?If it's not,I let it pass.If it is, a little reasoning, and the matter is done -- without a fight. The result: We get along just fine with love and kisses.
感慨:夫妻吵架的起因,大多是為了雞毛蒜皮的瑣事。為爭一口氣,逐步升溫,干戈大動。如果兩人對家裡小問題很計較,而當外來大麻煩來臨時,卻能高度一致,齊心應對;那就證明夫妻間確有真情實愛,吵得豈不冤枉?經營婚姻如同開汽車,剎車千萬不能壞,更別錯踩了油門!
共勉!